Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

By: Arlene Allen

One of the many movies that have been awaited with much anticipation has been Pirates of the Caribbean’s fifth installation, which televisions have been touting as “the final adventure.”  This film caused some mixed reactions in this reviewer.  It was certainly better than On Stranger Tides, which this film pretends doesn’t exist. And that’s a good thing!

This film centers primarily around Will Turner’s son Henry (played as an adult by Brenton Thwaites), who promises his father (Yes, Orlando Bloom is back!) he will find a way to break his curse.  He has heard that finding Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) will lead him to Poseidon’s Trident, the key he needs.  Henry has let this quest keep him from performing his real-life job duties as an officer in Her Majesty’s Navy.

On a disastrous journey, the ship he is on is lured into the Devil’s Triangle and destroyed by the villainous Captain Salizar (played by the incredible Javier Bardem).  Salizar tells Henry to take a message to Jack Sparrow and for a moment it seems like their quests are mutual.

Meanwhile, a brilliant young woman named Carina (played delightfully by Kaya Scodelario) is being hunted for witchcraft even though she’s a scientist. “It’s science, not witchcraft,” Carina insists, to with the magistrate replies, “Same thing.” It’s nice to have a strong, smart, sassy woman able enough to hold her own against the men trying to destroy of woo her.

The viewer can pretty much see what’s coming next for the most part and that’s one of the problems the film has. Harkening back to the 2003 original, the plot is pretty much a direct parallel and others have pointed out the similarities between Dead Man’s Chest and this film. We see the love interest blooming. We have a crew of dead men. We have stupid townspeople and evil British. There is at least one major plot twist but, for the most part, this is well-trod territory.

The other problem is Jack Sparrow.  I’m not saying Johnny Depp is bad; it’s just that Jack is given absolutely nothing to do.  He’s still drunk, stumbling Jack who is older but no wiser. Over the course of five movies he’s the only character who never grows or changes.  I couldn’t really figure out why Henry needs him; he does absolutely zero to help Henry in his quest.  Will Turner was correct in warning his son not to get involved with Jack because he brings nothing but trouble, which Henry was doing a great job of finding on his own, thank you very much.

Geoffrey Rush returns in his role as Barbosa and he is the one who really owns this movie. He’s the character who has been consistently been given the best story arcs and the most thoughtful character development.  It’s also great to see Jack’s original (though dwindling) crew back, especially Mr. Gibbs (Kevin McNally).

A third problem is that the film is way too long. Clocking in at a whopping 2 hours and 32 minutes, it becomes a little squirm worthy in parts. Sight gags go on a little bit too long; for example, Jack’s misadventure with the guillotine is funny the first couple of times, but by the 5^th time we’ve quite gotten it already.  The special effects are incredible; the walking dead highlight how far CGI has come since 2003. But they also go on sometimes for far too long. Yes, guys, we see what you’ve done there.  Yes, we see it.  We really do see it. This is a film where fat could have certainly been trimmed.

There is still some a great deal of hilarity to be had too; the wedding sequence and the very original bank robbery kept the audience in stitches and the great escape sequence harkens back to the original movie’s escape sequence rather nicely.  We also have a few scenes of Yondu-like emotionality, which were just as unexpected in a Pirates movie as they were in a Guardians of the Galaxy movie.

The film was directed by a Norwegian team, Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg. This appears to be their first mainstream American release and could perhaps explain some of the pacing issues. Writer Jeff Nathanson had a good idea to harness what was so beloved about the first movies and if this should somehow be the unlikely “final adventure” in a lucrative franchise (I’ve already heard a rumor Depp signed on for three more pictures; final apparently doesn’t mean what we think it means in Disney-speak. So, unless they plan on calling it “Liberty Square” we’ll be seeing more Pirates down the line), this would have been a perfect wrap to the original trilogy.

I would be remiss in not mentioning the stinger at the end so prepare to sit even longer still through the credits. There are also cameos to be looked for, such as Paul McCartney’s turn as Uncle Jack.

Final Analysis:  No tropes are going to be overturned here, but it’s still an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon.  Some scenes may be too intense for young mateys. B+