Preacher – On Your Knees

By: Kelly Kearney

On this week’s “Preacher” the rift between Jesse, Cassidy and Tulip grows when The Saint of Killers goes on the hunt for vengeance. With God still absent from his throne and a killer cowboy gunning for Jesse, Herr Starr is about to get his wish – a new and improved Messiah.

TO GET OUT OF HELL, YOU MUST LIVE IT…

Last week Hitler (Noah Taylor) and Eugene (Ian Colletti) managed to escape Hell during a planned diversion but escaping isn’t as easy as walking out the door to the Hell-Block and heading home. In order to leave, Eugene must relive his worst day loops and somehow change the outcome. The two men are catapulted into the day Tracy (Gianna LePera) shot herself. No matter what Eugene tries, whether he kisses Tracy or not, the ending is still the same – a shot gun blast to the mouth. Frustrated by Tracy mocking him, Eugene tries a new tactic and admits she is a mean and horrible person and choosing suicide for attention isn’t his fault, it’s hers. Wiping that from Eugene’s guilty conscience seems to work, but the two men are still trapped in the room with no exit. That is until Eugene faces all his demons, including an inappropriate camp counselor and his father Sherriff Root (W. Earl Brown). Eugene shoots the molesting counselor and makes peace with his father and BOOM, the window to the room opens and the two Hell escapees are back on the run.

Eugene isn’t the only one reliving his worst moments to break out of his current predicament. The Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) takes a jog down memory lane while he’s trying to find his way out of the watery grave Jesse left him in. Memories of his pregnant wife, his sick child, his path towards vengeance and murder and even the happier times of baptisms and promises to be a God-fearing man, flood his mind and fuel his anger. The memories are all the cowboy has now that he’s locked in Jesse’s (Dominic Cooper) stolen soul van that’s currently floating at the bottom of the Angelville swamp. That is until Hoover (Malcolm Barrett) and the Grail dredge the swamp, pull the van from the water and replace it with an empty look-a-like van to trick any Preacher that might check up on their prisoner. Hoover tows the van and the Saint of Killers to a secret Grail location and on an intercom he offers the cowboy a deal. A “you scratch our back, we’ll scratch yours” kind of offer where the Saint helps the Grail and they, in turn, help him find a way back to his family. At first, the angry killer wants nothing to do with any deals, but by week two in the van his strength is waning so he accepts the Grail’s offer. Hoover releases the killer cowboy but not before he runs and hides, which is a smart move by Hoover since he’s not dealing with the Saint of Cuddles, but a man known for killing anything in his way.

PAYBACKS AND BIMINI…

Now that the Saint of Killers is on the loose, Jesse, Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) are back in his crosshairs and the killer is madder than ever. After Jesse lied, tricked him and then dumped him in a swamp, the Saint is looking for payback and the three friends have no idea he’s back on the hunt. Instead, Cassidy and Tulip are in the kitchen arguing about nothing important while Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) is bored to tears listening in on the Grail’s monitor. Featherstone admits she would rather be water boarded than listen to Cassidy ramble about who gets to play the leader in their rag tag little threesome of God hunters. Noticing that Jesse is still gone, Tulip jokingly says she and Cassidy should go to Bimini alone and leave the Preacher to his obsessions. Being that Cassidy is in love with Tulip and just listened to Denis (Ronald Guttman) tell him that vampires take what they want, Cassidy is enamored by Tulip’s throat and maybe the idea of turning her into his immortal partner in crime. Before he can get too lost in her veins, Jesse comes home with a thirst for beer and conversation with his pal Cassidy.

While the men are discussing important topics like cannibalism and baby formulas made out of foreskins, Tulip takes the trash out and gets the surprise of her life. The Saint of Killers confronts Tulip in the apartment hallway and asks the terrified woman two questions: Where is Jesse and where are his weapons? Tulip responds with, “I don’t know,” and “Rio.” The Saint of Killer’s choke slams her for the second time in a month. She’s out cold and the killer cowboy enters the apartment while Cassidy and Jesse are on the deck chatting away and wondering where Tulip is with their six packs of beer. Cassidy gets up to check on her and he gets thrown through the air by the Saint of Killers who finally finds Jesse and calls him a coward for not sending him to Hell. Jesse admits he couldn’t send another soul to eternal damnation, but the cowboy calls him a liar and says that he just didn’t want to send a part of his own soul to Hell. Thinking Genesis will stop the Saint, Jesse tries ordering the killer to leave but his booming heavenly voice doesn’t work! Cassidy, the ever-faithful BFF, comes charging into the room and he and Jesse tag team fight the cowboy only to get a massive beat down. Tulip wakes up and tries to save the two men but she’s tossed aside when Jesse yells that he’s the killer’s target, not his friends. This all unfolds while Featherstone watches on from the next apartment, with her orders not to interfere.

ON YOUR KNEES…

With Genesis on the fritz, the Saint of Killers gets the upper hand, tying up Jesse and throwing him to his knees. With having no way to stop him, Jesse tries to reason with the Saint by saying if he kills him, he kills his last chance at getting to heaven. The Saint of Killers laughs and says Jesse made the right choice, a killer like him doesn’t belong in heaven. With no deals left to offer, the cowboy grabs a kitchen knife and begins to scalp Jesse only to be interrupted by Ms. Mannering (Amy Hill)! Mannering is there to take the Saint back to Hell now that there’s an empty spot left by Hitler. The cowboy resists her orders, but she reminds him that space must be filled and if not by him then by his daughter or wife. The killer laughs her off since God would never let her take souls from heaven, but she admits with God gone she can do as she pleases. That gets the cowboy’s attention and he agrees to go back to Hell, but not before he asks what will happen with Custer. Mannering says she has orders to keep him alive and then cuts Jesse free while whispering about how nice it is that Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) is watching out for him. It seems Herr Starr’s reach goes far beyond the Grail and all the way to hell. Obviously, Jesse is grateful for the last minute save but as Mannering leaves he questions what will happen with his piece of soul he gave the cowboy. It must be bad news since Mannering offers Jesse her apologies.

Now free from the Saint of Killers wrath, Jesse tells his friends he’s sorry as they’re being loaded into the ambulance. Cassidy needs more blood bags and after that choke slam from Hell Tulip needs a doctor and a week in Bimini, with bikinis and catamarans. Both Cassidy and Tulip are tired of being collateral damage in Jesse God obsession and are really at the end of their rope. The fact Herr Starr hijacks their ambulance and has them brought to Grail headquarters certainly doesn’t help their growing disappointment with the preacher.

The New Messiah…

At the Grail, Cassidy is having a hard time listening to Herr Starr talk about Jesse’s fate on the account of the fact he’s distractingly ugly, like a car crash you can’t look away from ugly. Be that as it may, Starr raises some good points; if Jesse is destined for greatness maybe they should get out of the way and let him be great?

After their encounter with the Grail and Cassidy’s horror over Starr’s oiled egg head of grossness, the two meet up with Jesse at a local diner. There must be something about diners that drag people into intense and often pointless conversations. And pointless rambling is what these three do best. It seems like old times until the topic of Jesse and his path to greatness lands on the table of topics. Jesse admits he met Humperdoo and if that guy is the savior of all mankind they are seriously screwed. Not to mention God skipped his duties to play Man Dog in some basement of a jazz club for strippers and Jesse thinks maybe he’s is the best choice to take over the holy throne. Cassidy can’t believe it and reminds Jesse that he’s a boozing, thieving, part time criminal and not cut out for the Messiah job. Besides, humanity has survived countless perverted and destructive gods over the years and they will survive Humperdoo and his moronic family, too. Jesse’s all but talked himself into the job, but Cassidy and Tulip call it quits. This is Jesse’s fate and there is no place in it for them. Cassidy and Tulip leave and Jesse is shocked his best friend and his girlfriend won’t support his new venture. Now that the Saint of Killers is Satan’s problem and Hitler is about to make a break for it with Eugene, the world could use a God who will stick around and protect the masses. The episode ends with Jesse back at the Grail, accepting Herr Starr’s offer to take the throne. The leader of the Grail gets on his knees and bows to the newly anointed Messiah, Jesse Custer. It seems humanity has a new leader… God help them all!