Preacher – Sonsofbitches

By: Kelly Kearney

Tonight we take a look back at Jesse’s past in Angelville and find out how his Gran’ma manages to stay so young… I’ll give you a hint: it’s not Botox that keeps her wrinkle free. Meanwhile, thanks to Jesse’s Granny, Tulip has risen from the dead but her memories from her pre-corpse days are a little hazy. With the help of Cassidy, Jesse and a visit from the Grail, the wheels in O’Hare’s head are turning and she’s ready to fulfill her destiny, whatever that may be.

Angelville High School

We open on a flashback to Angelville High where a young Jesse (Will Kindrachuck) is propositioned by a teacher (Mike Harkins) in the school yard. It seems the middle-aged man has a problem and needs Jesse’s help. A female student at the school has become enamored with the man after an inappropriate sexual encounter that, if made public, would ruin his career. Since Madame L’Angelle (Betty Buckley) is known to the locals as a woman who can make your problems disappear, the man asks Jesse to do just that. Jesse agrees to help but warns him that his Gran’ma’s services come with a price – one that is non-negotiable. Any attempts to skip out on payments will result in consequences the man is not prepared to face.

Of course, the teacher tries skirting the payments so Jody (Jeremy Childs) along with T.C. (Colin Cunningham) remind him why it’s important to pay L’Angelle her dues. They chase him through the woods where he finds Jesse, who gives him the beat down of his life. The two men along with Custer drag the deadbeat teacher to Madame L’Angelle and that’s when we learn how Granny manages to keep her youthful glow. She harvests their souls! Strapped to a machine, the teacher’s blood curdling screams are a reminder of how far Marie L’Angelle will go to get what she’s owed.

India

In present time India, Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) is seen hiding under orange robes as he infiltrates the Hare Krishna Headquarters. If the Grail comes knocking, it’s best to never open the door, especially if Starr and his cronies on the other side.

Back in Angelville, Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) hands Tulip (Ruth Negga) T.C.’s famous consume to cure what ails her and currently what’s ailing her is some major gaps in her memory. Death apparently causes chaos in the brain and as Tulip’s trying to fit all the pieces of her puzzle together, Cassidy keeps her entertained with a story about a friend who came back from the dead and witnessed an entire city of talking deer. Tulip assumes her buddy is smoking crack again but let’s be real, when isn’t Cassidy high on some substance? In that moment, Jesse (Dominic Cooper) joins the two and immediately Cassidy blames Tulip’s death on his new friends at The Grail. Tulip seems confused as to why the two men are at each other’s throats, but then again, she has no idea Cassidy spilled the beans about their romantic tryst in Las Vegas. When she asks why they’re fighting Jesse lies saying they’re just worried about her, especially now that they’re stuck there until Jesse can convince his gran’ma to let him leave. Custer leaves Tulip and Cass to go take a walk in the road until he’s almost run down by a speeding car. The preacher tries to use the power of Genesis to stop the approaching car but when it fails he calls Herr Starr to get his soul back.

Over at the Hare Krishna Headquarters, an epic battle breaks out between The Grail and the temple worshippers. It’s an ultra-violent extravaganza set the song, “Get Together,” by the Youngbloods. In true “Preacher” form, it’s an ironic tune to back up a mass killing. As Starr repeatedly kicks the temple’s swami in the family jewels, his phone rings with Jesse’s soul request. After he hangs up, Starr asks the swami if he will accept Humperdo as his leader and when the man declines Herr Starr shoots him in the head.

Trapped

Back to the plantation, Jesse apologizes to Cassidy for getting them stuck in Angelville. He knows his vampire friend wants to leave and so he tells him he’s free to go, but Cassidy isn’t gong anywhere without Tulip. Frustrated and feeling trapped, Jesse goes to talk to gran’ma while T.C. finds out he has something in common with Cassidy; a love of drugs. It seems the vampire’s stay in Angelville won’t be all bad now that he has a drug buddy. As the two men trade drug horror stories, gran’ma gives Jesse a few pieces of advice. The woman honestly doesn’t care about Tulip. Although she admits she’s pretty, what she does care about is Jesse and their deal. She warns him not to let the Boyd’s know he’s back and he conveniently leaves out the fact he’s already had a violent run in with them. She also tells Jesse his job is to get the tombs up and running but he refuses, which is brave considering how powerful gran’ma Marie actually is.

While Jesse is standing up to his granny, Tulip’s dealing with Jody and the two do not start out on the right foot. Armed with a gun, Tulip’s practicing her aim by shooting cans on the plantation’s fence. Jody shows up unannounced and blasts the fence to kingdom come, killing any hope of Tulip’s target practice. After words are exchanged, Jody asks her what it’s like to be dead, but with her memory loss Tulip can’t explain it. As a peace offering, the man hands Tulip an impressive gun and as she aims the beast to shoot, she spots movement in the bushes through the gun’s scope. Tulip hands Jody the weapon and takes off towards the bushes to find none other than her friend turned murderous foe, Lara Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery). Tulip drags Lara out of the bushes and punches are thrown with Tulip gaining the upper hand. Hoover (Malcolm Barrett) tries to help his partner but he’s no match for O’Hare. Elsewhere, Jesse interrupts T.C. and Cassidy’s drug chat to ask where Tulip ran off to, but the men were so ensconced in their debate they have no idea where she went. All three head outside and find Tulip holding onto a bloody Featherstone. It’s not long before gran’ma gets involved and orders Jody and T.C. to help Jesse deal with the intruders. They march Lara and Hoover to the swamp to dispose of their bodies while Cassidy rants about the brilliance of the film Miller’s Crossing and how the film’s creators, the Coen brothers, couldn’t possibly be the same people who created his most hated film The Big Lebowski – a theory literally no one agrees with, including Tulip who is sick of hearing about Cassidy’s sub-par movie tastes.

As the group approaches the swamp Tulip suggests she put a bullet in Lara’s head, but Jesse stops her claiming Jody’s meat grinder is the way to go. Jody’s is on the swamp docks grinding and juicing up raccoons for a delicious swamp consume beverage and the look of horror when Tulip, Cassidy and Jesse realize what they’ve been eating is priceless. Cassidy tries to dull their pain by saying the consume was heated so it’s probably safe, but this is coming from a vampire who lives on drugs and blood. What would he know? After Hoover pretends to be sick, he runs off and sends the entire crew on a chase, giving Jesse and Lara a moment to slip away. In the woods, Jesse explains to Lara that she needs to take Herr Starr a message and then in front of Tulip’s eyes he lets Lara go! Thanks to Cass poor Tulip knows that Lara was the one who killed her, and she is shocked that her life long love would let her murderer go. To say the woman is upset is an understatement, but Jesse tries explaining that he needs Herr Starr to return his soul in order to use Genesis to force Granny to let him go. He promises once he gets his powers back that he will kill everyone at The Grail and plantation, but he needs Tulip and Cassidy’s help to do it. Cassidy reluctantly agrees to help and heads off with Tulip, who’s been ordered to make an explosive distraction at the Boyd’s. After the duo bomb the Boyd’s place, Cassidy wonders why he and Tulip can’t leave Angelville and Jesse altogether. There nothing keeping them there and Cassidy is tired of taking orders from the preacher. Tulip shoots this idea down reminding Cass they’re a team.

Back at the plantation, the family is preparing for a shootout with the Boyds when all of a sudden a cannon is fired from a pick-up truck off in the distance. Thank goodness for Cassidy’s umbrella hat because while its an excellent sun protector it also shields him from the flying goat the Boyds shot at them. Jody explains that shooting a goat at your enemy is an old Voodoo message proving the Boyds want them dead.

In the middle of the throw down between the two families, Herr Starr arrives for a sit down in gran’ma’s kitchen. Jesse wants his soul back and, surprisingly, Starr hands it over without a fight. Only the soul was a placebo and Jesse figures this out when he tries ordering Starr to eat his own genitalia. Starr wonders why Jesse refuses the position of savior, but after a quick talk he reveals the preacher’s soul is out in the car. As the two men walk side by side towards he car, Tulip spots them as she’s bringing a blood bag to an injured Cassidy. She assumes Jesse is bailing now that he got his soul back and she instantly flashes back to her encounter with God when he ordered her to “get those sons of bitches.”

At the car, more Grail members gather around as Lara hands Jesse his soul. As he’s about to swallow it, Tulip starts gunning down most of the white suits, but Lara and Starr manage to get away with Jesse’s soul. The preacher tries running after Starr’s car and winds up collapsing and choking thanks to gran’ma’s voodoo. Eventually, Jesse recovers and realizes L’Angelle means business. He gets to work on his end of the deal, which leads him down a steep staircase into the basement that is presumably the tombs. Jesse picks up a broom and starts cleaning when he’s interrupted by his high school teacher who begs the preacher for help. Unfortunately, there is nothing the preacher can do so he ignores the man as he sweeps up the filth in what looks like the bowels of hell. Without Genesis, Jesse is under the full control of Marie and her voodoo powers and their deal should keep him under her thumb for an eternity. Something that L’Angelle will not revoke without a fight. Jesse’s only hope is to get his soul back without his gran’ma harvesting it for an everlasting life and from the looks of things, that’s far easier said than done.