Preacher – The Tombs

By: Kelly Kearney

In this episode we find out the Tombs bring out the worst in Jesse when Cassidy is forced to fight for his life in a battle royal with Marie’s soulless debtors. Meanwhile, Tulip takes Madame Boyd on a joy ride and learns the real reason why the woman hates the L’Angelle’s. We also head to Hell where we meet Satan who comes face to face with The Saint of Killers, a man who could be the answer to all the devil’s problems.

Welcome to Hell

We open in Hell where, after being released from his cell, The Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) is ordered into a meeting with the devil (Jason Douglas) in his flame-retardant office. The horned and comically buff beast is not pleased and yet is somewhat impressed with the Saint’s escape from Hell and thinks this cowboy is the perfect candidate for a position he needs filled. Satan needs two souls retuned to the hell block and who better than the man who’s been itching to get out of the flaming pits and finish what he started with Jesse (Dominic Cooper)? The Saint agrees to do the devil’s dirty work if he can squeeze in a little time to blast the Preacher back to kingdom come. This could be a win-win for the Saint and with Satan in his corner the cowboy could be unstoppable. Of course, there’s always a catch when it comes to Satan and the Saint can’t just walk out of Hell without paying for his misdeeds, he did, after all, escape once before and make the devil look bad and nobody makes Satan look like a fool. Ordering the Saint to be tied up, the prepares to inflict just the right amount of punishment to remind the cowboy why you never cross the boss.

Back in Angelville, we learn about Madame Boyd’s (Prema Cruz) past with the L’Angelles, more specifically Jesse. When Tulip (Ruth Negga) starts a war at the Boyd’s, she blasts her way out and kidnaps the matriarch taking her on a joy ride back to the plantation. On the way Madame Boyd (a/k/a Sabina) tells Tulip about her past and how Jesse was the first boy she loved and who eventually broke her heart. Dating his gran’ma’s (Betty Buckley) competition could’ve had a deadly outcome for the teenage Sabina (Charlotte Evelyn Williams) so a young Jesse (Will Kindrachuck) broke off their romance before his girlfriend wound up in The Tombs or worse, a watery coffin. Unfortunately, that’s not where the heartbreak ends, after the break up, Sabina’s brother Kenny (Taron Germany) tried confronting Jesse in the tombs and wound up dead thanks to Jesse’s inability to control his anger. Madame Boyd warns Tulip that The Tombs are bad for Jesse and nothing good can come from him being in Angelville and under his granny’s thumb. While Sabina admits that Kenny was a casualty of the war between the two families, Jesse tells Tulip his side of the story where he claims it was all an accident – as if choking the life out of your ex-girlfriend’s brother is the same as stubbing your toe. Jesse pleads with Tulip to understand that every choice he’s made, then and now, has been to keep the people he loved safe. It’s better to drive them away and have them hate him from afar then to let them stay and suffer the consequences of Marie L’Angelle. This is why he continues to try and convince Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) and Tulip to leave Angelville before they wind up in Jody’s (Jeremy Childs) Swamp Juicer. Of course, Tulip isn’t scared easily and she decides to stick around now that Madame Boyd told her the key to breaking Jesse’s curse is killing his gran’ma.

Royal Soulless Rumble

Down in The Tombs, Jesse acts as the ringleader while Cassidy fights for his survival. The vampire puts on a good show with swords versus chainsaws and he remains The Tombs champ until Jesse comes up with an idea that quickly puts an end to Cass’s victory lap. It’s all part of Jesse’s plan to get Cassidy out of Angelville before his family can turn the bloodsucker into ash. Knowing his family won’t stop until Cassidy is dead, Jesse cuts his BFF up into pieces and puts him in a box, packing peanuts and all, and ships him off to New Orleans. It’s a decent plan to get his buddy out of harm’s way, but Cassidy has no intention of leaving Tulip behind. Like some demented humpty dumpty, Cassidy manages to put all his pieces back together again and crawl his way back to Angelville and the dangers that await him – dangers like an angry Jesse who stabs him in the chest with the splinter from a baseball bat. These tombs really don’t bode well for Jesse’s mental stability and Tulip sees that when she witnesses her boyfriend impale their friend. Of course, Jesse “Custer-splains” this all away by saying the stabbing was to save Cassidy from an unfortunate end. Tulip, who isn’t sure of Jesse is telling the truth or if The Tombs really are turning him dark, drives Cassidy off the plantation and to a bus stop headed for New Orleans. Armed with the love potion he stole from Marie L’Angelle, Cassidy tells Tulip he loves her but she friend zones the vampire and he pockets the potion and gets on the bus. The interesting part of this scene is that Cassidy, a blood sucking drug riddled vampire, chose not to use the potion on his love and force her into a relationship she might not want, proving he could be the only one in this whole story that puts others before himself. The vampire has a heart and even though it might be lifeless, it’s bigger than Jesse and Tulip give him credit for. After saying their goodbyes, Cassidy climbs on the bus but doesn’t notice that Lara Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) is sitting a few seats behind him. That can only mean one thing – this vampire isn’t making it to Mardi Gras anytime soon.

The Saint of Killers is on the Loose

Cassidy isn’t the only one who escapes his horrible fate. Throughout the episode Satan tortures The Saint of Killers for making Hell look bad with his murder spree and penchant for escaping the unescapable. Hell is like Fort Knox as it has a reputation to keep and if the devil is going to spread his version of cheer he’s going to need The Saint to clean up a few messes; but first, retribution for breaking the rules. The Devil, and all his red rippling muscles, surfer talk and love of Slim Jim’s (obviously the evilest of all the snack foods) orders the cowboy’s punishment with what must’ve been 666 fiery lashes to the back. After his skin is torn to the bone, the devil cuts him loose with a deal the cowboy cannot refuse; bring him Hitler (Noah Taylor) and Arseface (Ian Colletti) and he will help The Saint kill Jesse. Since The Saint doesn’t like unfinished business, he decides to do the devil’s bidding and walks out of Hell with a mission – return the Fuhrer and his little friend to Hell and then he can finally put his Jesse Custer problem to bed…permanently. Little does he know that Jesse is already living in his own personal Hell and Marie will put up quite the fight to keep her grandson in Angelville working The Tombs. It’s not looking good for Jesse, Tulip and Cassidy as now the Grail is holding Custer’s soul hostage, Humperdo is set to ascend the heavenly throne and The Saint is back in killing game.  Gran’ma and her tomb fights might be the least of their worries. Things are heating up for the preacher and without the power of Genesis or any clear way out of this mess, it looks like a showdown in Angelville is inevitable.