Scorpion – Mother Load

By: Kim Olson

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Holidays rarely ever go smoothly on Scorpion! Heck, make that never!

All Paige (Katharine McPhee) wants is to have a normal Thanksgiving, surrounded by her family – the cyclone – and to eat turkey, stuffing, potatoes and pie. Fate has a different plan for her, sending her even more family than she asked for. Her absentee mom, Veronica (Lea Thompson), rolls back into her life! Paige wants absolutely nothing to do with her mom. She greets her with an icy, explosive unwelcome and gives her the cold shoulder all day long. It’s a dysfunctional, emotional situation.

Paige pays Toby (Eddie Kaye Thomas) twenty dollars, five percent of his hourly rate, to have him as her psychiatrist/confidant for the day. Toby would have kept Paige’s secrets for free because they are best friends, but he’ll gladly accept the cash. Paige reveals to him the dark, messed up truths about her family. She tells him that her mother is a con woman, “a first-degree grifter,” who was constantly in and out of prison “six months here, eight months there” for “everything from pyramid schemes that ripped off PTA moms to selling time-shares she didn’t own.” Paige was so ashamed of her mom growing up; she would lie about her mom’s whereabouts and tell her friends she was a “saleswoman who traveled the world making custom perfumes for celebrities.” Paige’s mom would try with her every once in a while, showing up with gifts, but Paige would not accept them because she knew her mother paid for them “with money that belonged to somebody who’d been swindled.” Even with how much of an embarrassment Paige’s mom was to her family, her dad still “worshipped” her mom. And even though he left her he took Paige with him because “he knew being around (Veronica) was unhealthy for a child.” Unfortunately, he died “heartbroken.” Paige has no love, anywhere in her heart, for her mother who literally and figuratively broke her family. The last thing she wants is her mother breaking the family she found for herself, the cyclone.

Veronica, after being gone twenty years, now wants a place in Paige’s life because after all this time, through the million mistakes she made as a “lousy parent” she never stopped loving Paige. “I’ve never stopped loving you and no matter what you say to me, no matter how much you hate me, I never will,” she tells her. But it is too late. Paige wants nothing to do with her mother. Even when Veronica makes an effort, bringing Chinese for Thanksgiving dinner, Paige still turns her away because it is uncomfortable being around each other since they have no relationship. The only reason Paige lets her stay is because Cabe (Robert Patrick) reminds her she is better than icing her own mom on Thanksgiving. “Right now, everyone in America is getting together and having an uncomfortable family dinner. That’s what you do on Thanksgiving,” he reminds her. Even though Veronica wants to meet her grandson, Ralph (Riley B. Smith), Paige begrudgingly introduces them because they are in the same room at the same time and Paige is a good person. Ralph is still and will always be Paige’s baby, as seen by him sitting on her knee at the Thanksgiving table. So, because she is a good mom – a better mother than Veronica could ever be – she is going to protect him from anyone who could do him any harm including “family.” Veronica wants to have a say in all aspects of Paige’s life, including her love life. She is not a fan of Paige’s boyfriend, Tim (Scott Porter), who is an “acquired taste” she would prefer to see Paige with Walter (Elyes Gabel). So, she is going to interfere in Paige’s relationship with Tim and help Walter win over her daughter.

In the more light-hearted portion of the episode, Sylvester (Ari Stidham) is running for city council and Cabe is going to be his campaign manager. Cabe cares about Sly and he sees he has good ideas, like not perfectly pissing people off on Thanksgiving. But he is also helping because he has a crush on Sly’s opponent’s campaign manager (Reiko Aylesworth). Cabe being Sly’s campaign manager has to be better than Sly’s friends from the comic book store, who suggested he dress up as a warlock in a cape to get signatures. “Nerds dressed up in their mother’s bathrobes harassing the electorate isn’t how you win an election,” Cabe informs him. Even Ralph isn’t comfortable with a man wearing a cape! “Weirdo in a cape dropped it off…. I wouldn’t let him in. He was wearing a cape,” he tells Sly. Maybe with Cabe as his campaign manager, Sly will actually stand a chance at winning.

Best Lines:

• Paige: Walter’s not one to make friends with humans.
• Paige: This is Thanksgiving and we’re going to have a happy family meal, damnit!
• Tim: What are we involved in? Toby: An uncomfortable family squabble.
• Paige: I will stuff my foot in your business like you’re a Thanksgiving turkey. Toby: And our session’s complete.
• Toby: This is not worth $20.
• Toby: I am uncomfortable.
• Toby: This is why I didn’t do family therapy.
• Paige: I’m a Sylvester Dodd woman.
• Toby: Something tells me a nuclear reactor is a less volatile situation than the one up here.
• Veronica: I’ve been in prison for six years. Ralph: Grandma’s a jail bird. Toby: That’s your gated community in Arizona?