Scorpion – We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Vote

By: Kim Olson

Of course “Scorpion” can’t end an episode without making me cry. You want the good news or the bad news first? Bad news? Happy (Jadyn Wong) isn’t pregnant. She never was. It was a false positive. A hysterical pregnancy. And I am sad. So sad. I wanted Happy to be a mommy and Toby (Eddie Kaye Thomas) to be a daddy. I have since season two! But they’re not. Not yet, at least. She had already built her baby-to-be a really cool, really special crib out of titanium with hydraulics and cameras, which she sadly destroys upon finding out she’s not pregnant. She was already looking forward to all the things she could do with her child after they were born, like pick them up from school, which she herself never had. “When I was in elementary school I was jealous of the other kids because their parents waited outside to take them home and I walked to the orphanage by myself. I was looking forward to waiting outside for somebody,” she says. Toby too already loved that baby with everything he had. He built Happy a rocking chair for rocking their baby to sleep! I get that the scene focused on Happy, with Toby comforting her, which I really loved. I am hoping to see Toby’s emotional reaction to losing this baby he was expecting to have. Does he fall back into gambling? Drinking? How does he feel? Maybe next week, please?

After mourning the “Quintis” baby that never was, little Tobias Meriwether Curtis, Jr., lets focus on the positives that can come out of this. Toby promised Happy she’d have all the experiences mothers do, someday, someway. “We love each other. We’re gonna have a family. You’re gonna wait outside a school. And you’re gonna build a crib. And you’re gonna share tools with whatever baby is lucky enough to have you as their mom. It’ll happen when the time is right. It is gonna happen,” he says. Both halves of Quintis have admitted they want to have a baby so maybe, hopefully, the writers can and will actually do it right next time.

On the bright side, Walter (Elyes Gabel) is finally been granted his citizenship, meaning he and Happy can finally get a divorce so she can marry Toby. Toby wastes no time getting the ball rolling on. He looks like an actual excited puppy, so happy shouting “Happy and I can get married! We can get hitched!” After finding out about the baby that never was, he prepares to walk away and to leave Happy alone like she asked. Instead he stays, gets down on one knee and proposes to her. “First, I never got the answer that I was looking for the first time and I don’t have a song, but I’ve carried this ring with me every day…” Happy is so ready to say “yes” she doesn’t even let him finish asking the question. Toby’s smile after she agrees brings back thoughts of when he told her he was the happiest he’s ever been, after they made love for the first time. He goes to her and holds her, like he should have when she was upset over the non-baby. According to Toby’s logic and statistics, they are right on track. After he met Happy’s dad, they got engaged and soon they’ll get married and have little “bambinos” of their own. Also, now no one can argue Quintis are only getting married for the baby, not for love. The exact opposite is true. Even with no baby, they’re still getting married. Would you look at that? It’s what I’ve been saying this whole time.

Up until then, this episode was so much fun, hilarious even! The case of the week focused on how “not everything is improved by technology” so Toby spent the whole episode making fun of lovable, “elderly” Cabe (Robert Patrick) who seems to be stuck in the past. “It’s time for you to embrace technology….It’s not tape. It’s digital….MP3s are audio, you’re recording video,” Toby tells him. Even though some of Toby’s pranks are a little mean, like making Cabe shout into a thermostat for 20 minutes, hopefully Toby never changes. His sense of humor is part of what makes him so lovable. Even his wife-to-be, Happy, sees his pranks as amusing and one of his many “gifts” to mankind. That’s love.

Due to not being a citizen, Walter is “benched by the President” for this case, which focuses on voter fraud on Election Day so he stays back at the garage, babysitting Ralph, (Riley B. Smith) who doesn’t have school because it’s Election Day. In this episode, Ralph starts off interviewing the members of the team about what political issues matter most to them on Election Day for a school project. His interview style is hilarious and amazing! Walter tells him he’s concerned about how slow the patent and trademark office is because he’s waiting for approval on several of his inventions and Ralph tells him, “No one likes your inventions.” Then, when he goes to interview Cabe he says, “And here we have someone who’s been voting for almost half a century.” That would make Cabe sixty-eight years old, at least! “Ralphie” is ruthless!

Because Team Scorpion works best when together, Ralph included, not being able to participate won’t stop Walter from working. He and Ralph have “fun” working as “partners” on the case, behind the government’s back, specifically that of the FBI agent who is babysitting them as Walter is babysitting Ralph. Oh my God, I love Walter and Ralph’s relationship! They are so cute together! I am impatiently waiting for Walter to be Ralph’s stepdad officially, which (sadly) he may have completely lost his chance at. As Ralph tells him, “You should have taken my mom dancing when you had the chance. We could have been partners forever.” How can an 11-year-old crush my heart with just his words?! Ralph is referring to his mom, Paige (Katharine McPhee), going to the Veteran’s Ball with Tim, her boyfriend, where she is going to meet his parents for the first time. This, following Toby’s logic, is only a hop, jump and skip to marriage and babies. “It’s just a dance!” Paige assures him. To which Toby replies, “A dance down the aisle.” It kills me to say Tim looks handsome in his uniform for the ball. I am tired of him and Walter and Paige aren’t even my main ship on the show. I do not like how Tim interferes in Walter’s relationship with Ralph. How much more of Tim do I have to take? How long until the Christmas episode?

Best Lines:

• Ralph: “I’m interviewing average Americans.” Walter: “I’m not an American yet and if I was my IQ makes me well above average.”
• Paige: “Hopefully, the world’s about to explode so we can end this conversation.”
• Toby: “What I want to know is why we’re On the Waterfront. Did you see that picture Cabe? Or have you not warmed up to talkies?”
• Walter (to Ralph): “It’s bring your son to work day.”
• Toby: “In the middle of chaos, there’s opportunity.”
• Paige (about villain exiting bathroom): “Oh poop.” Toby: “Obviously. He’s tucking his shirt in.”
• Toby (to Ralph): “Good call with the crossword analogy. The elderly love their puzzles.”
• Cabe (to Toby): “My foot and your ass are going on a date real soon”.
• Sly: “I have an announcement.” Toby: “You’re still a virgin, we know.”