Speechless – T-h-a-Thanksgiving

By starrymag | November 18, 2016

By: Taylor Gates

 

The Dimeo family is watching TV when they see a commercial for Jimmy’s (John Ross Bowie) brother Billy’s (Rob Corddry) dentist office. The commercial stars Billy in all the roles, prompting Maya (Minnie Driver) to complain about having to spend Thanksgiving with someone so narcissistic. Jimmy accidentally breaks the TV while trying to turn the advertisement off.

 

The Dimeos go shopping for new clothes appropriate for Thanksgiving at the country club. Ray (Mason Cook) doesn’t want to go at all—family holidays means drama. Maya whines that Jimmy’s relatives don’t even try to understand their side of the family. Spying a great Black Friday deal on a new TV, Jimmy agrees to bail on his brother.

 

Maya invites Kenneth (Cedric Yarbrough) to Thanksgiving at their house, not anticipating that Kenneth with actually take her up on the offer. Jimmy calls his brother, giving the excuse that JJ (Micah Fowler) is sick. However, it backfires when his brother’s solution is to have Thanksgiving at Jimmy and Maya’s house instead.

 

The Dimeos give Kenneth the rundown on everything wrong with Billy’s family: they talk to JJ like he’s deaf, Dylan (Kyla Kenedy) complains that cousin Duncan (TJ Zecchino) will only say a catchphrase, Maya is irritated that Audrey (Andrea Anders) constantly cries about how brave their family is, JJ hates how Audrey’s mom (Eileen Barnett) dances despite everyone wishing she wouldn’t and Jimmy is always stuck hearing Billy brag about how rich he is. They decide to make it into a game—every time a relative does the annoying tick they hate most, they get a point. The winner gets the wad of pity cash Billy always gives Jimmy at the end of the day.

 

Kenneth arrives for Thanksgiving with a few bottles of wine. He tells Ray that he hates drama too so the two plan to hide out in the kitchen and cook to avoid it all. Billy’s family arrives and Maya is the first to score a point after Audrey weeps over JJ not being able to speak.

 

Kenneth and Ray have no idea how to cook. They decide to crank up the heat on the oven in order to reduce the amount of time it takes to bake the food.

 

Maya baits Audrey by showing her their single bathroom without a door. It works and she starts weeping immediately. Dylan tries the same with Duncan by showing him new video games, Ray’s baby teeth and a Lite-Brite. He uses his new favorite lingo twice: “YAAAS.” Ray gets a dance from Audrey’s mom, but Maya will only count it as one point since it was a medley. Jimmy is firmly in the lead after a conversation with Billy bragging about yachts, Telsas and running for mayor.

 

Ray and Kenneth have burnt the outside of the turkey, but the inside is still cold. Kenneth’s solution is to go to the store and buy an already-cooked turkey, but Ray informs him those are actually “rotisserie chickens.” They go to the store and get one anyway. Kenneth tells Ray nobody will even notice—sure the chicken has sixteen tiny legs, but there are so many hormones that goes into turkeys nowadays nobody will question it.

 

Kenneth takes a call from a family member, screaming at them to take the hint when the call goes to voicemail. He apologizes to Ray for ruining their peaceful vibe, but proceeds to badmouth his family about how they always give him a hard time when they’re together. Ray is overwhelmed by Kenneth’s drama.

 

Fed up by Billy’s bragging, Jimmy challenges him to a race: his junky handicap-accessible van versus Billy’s Tesla. Billy accepts, turning his car on with his phone.

 

Before they can start the race, Audrey intervenes revealing that Billy’s car is a rental. They lost everything due to gambling and Billy’s dental fraud. Ray wanders outside, asking what is going on. Audrey said everyone was having a nice time until the stupid competition. Ray assumes they’re talking about the annoyance game they’ve created and spills the beans about it.

 

Billy and Audrey, offended that Maya and Jimmy have been mocking them, start listening some of their annoying quirks. Maya acts like a British Erin Brockovich and Jimmy’s wisecracks are obnoxious. However, since their family has problems they are always given a free pass. Maya apologizes for always being so caught up with their own issues that they never stopped to think other people might be struggling with things too. Kenneth apologizes to Ray for dumping his problems on him.

 

Jimmy and Billy go talk. Billy tells Jimmy he realizes he has a lot of stuff going on, but people have problems and brothers at the same time. Jimmy tells him that’s the first thing he’s said in years that wasn’t about how much stuff he has.

 

Both sides of the Dimeo clan wait in the Black Friday line to get a new TV. JJ uses his disability to his advantage, easily convincing everyone ahead of him to let them cut.

 

Dylan and Duncan ride around on scooters together. Duncan admits that his catchphrases are compensation for feeling like he has nothing valuable to add to a conversation, like verbal armor.

 

Audrey starts crying about how delicious a sample of pizza is, causing Maya to realize that her sobbing was never personal—she’s just nuts.

 

Ray convinces Kenneth to call his family and make things right.

 

Jimmy buys the last television and auctions it off to the people in line. He gives the money to Billy, successfully giving out the pity cash this year. Billy, still obsessed with feeling superior, gives Jimmy five dollars back and tells him to buy something nice. Jimmy and Maya plan to go home and eat some turkey, but Kenneth tells them they can’t because JJ is sick.

 

The family gathers around to watch Billy’s new commercial, which stars two of JJ to advertise two teeth whitening for the price of one.