Splitting Up Together – China-Curious

By: Ariba Bhuvad

It’s Dad week on Splitting Up Together, which means Lena (Jenna Fischer) has to pack her things and move over to the garage. Maya (Diane Farr) is staying over and asks Lena if she’s ever depressed because of having to move back and forth so much. Lena is actually happy with the situation, but she misses having her clothes in one place and hates the sofa bed in the garage. However, there’s no time to discuss all that because Maya had her amnio and she’s having a boy! Yay!

Meanwhile, Mae (Olivia Keville) has a friend named China (Rowan Blanchard) over and they’re busy making some sort of vegan coconut food item. Lena is perplexed to hear Mae call her by name instead of “Mom” and is intrigued by the fact that China identifies as queer. Lena starts to get awkward and begins signing that she “Stands by Q.”

It appears that Mason (Van Crosby) is in love again, but this time with a girl named Bronwyn (Sydney Taylor). They’re smitten with another and use acronyms like “ILY” and “ILYSM.” Martin (Oliver Hudson) spots the two kissing and confronts Mason about his new relationship. He feels that Mason should play hard to get and make Bron work for it. So, when Bron calls Mason, he opts to ignore it per his father’s instructions.

Lena continues to feel awkward about China and Mae who are snuggled up in Mae’s room, in a pretzel as Lena refers to it. Mae wants China to spend the night, but Lena says no and tries to explain it by saying the school said strep is going around. Lena’s issue lies in the fact that she has no idea if China and Mae are friends or more than that. And they don’t give her a clear answer, which complicates things more. Lena goes to Martin to talk about the situation, but he couldn’t care less. In fact, when Mae and China come into the kitchen Mae asks Martin if China can sleep over and he says yes. Lena doesn’t think it’s a good idea and says that if Mason wanted Bron to stay over they would say no. She doesn’t like the double standard and warns Martin he will regret it later.

Later on, Arthur (Bobby Lee) is over hanging out with Martin who tells him all about how Lena tried to seduce him. He thinks it’s because he started ignoring her and now she’s all into him. Not to mention, he thinks it’s suspect that Lena wants to stay in the house tonight because of the kids. In the midst of this, Bron comes over upset about the fact that Mason has been ignoring her and goes to yell at him. He confesses his father gave him the advice to ignore her, but he’s super in love with her. Things get heated and Bron says she wants to lose her virginity to Mason. However, Mason speaks up in the nick of time and puts an end to it. He’s finally realizing that his mother was right to be so paranoid.

A fight breaks out between Martin and the kids when he tries to discipline them for trying to close their doors with their significant others. Lena is waiting for Martin outside knowing that he has failed and they decide to come up with a game plan to handle the kids together. They sit Mae and Mason down at the dinner table and say that they are going to establish house rules for everyone to follow – no matter whose week it is. When they ask both of them to list their complaints, Mason says he doesn’t want to share a room with Milo (Sander Thomas) and Mae wants to put a lock on her door. Lena realizes she wants a mattress in the garage and Martin wants Lena to try the nachos he made earlier.

Lena and Martin tell Mason and Mae that they can close their doors but the line of communication must always be open. During the conversation they realize that Milo has been MIA and go looking for him. It turns out during all of this he created a room for himself in the bathroom since everyone else told him to get out of the room. Martin suggests that Milo take the laundry room and renovate it as he wishes.

All in all Lena feels they had a successful night of parenting, but is curious about whether or not Martin thinks she has issues with intimacy. He doesn’t think so, but says that they can test it out by having her sleep next to him yet they won’t have sex. This moment doesn’t last very long because Martin’s stomach is upset from eating the pork and beans Milo gave him earlier. Speaking of Milo, he packs all his belongings to move into his new room. As he bids farewell to Mason, they try to agree on joint custody for their X-Bo,  but realize it’s just like what their parents are doing…and it’s stupid.