Splitting Up Together – Yes, Deer

By: Ariba Bhuvad

Work has officially begun on the Wagner household and it’s safe to say that Lena (Jenna Fischer) is dead set on making sure things go as smoothly as possible. This starts with her prepping Mae (Olivia Keville), Mason (Van Crosby) and Milo (Sander Thomas) about the workers and what to expect while they are there.

The kids are all curious about whether or not Lena and Martin (Oliver Hudson) are planning on selling the house. Lena assures them that as of now they are just fixing the house, but Mae scares Mason by saying they’re headed for apartment land. Apart from managing the kids, Lena also tries micromanaging all the workers. When Vlad (Costa Ronin) arrives with his workers, Lena guides them in with tape on the floor which leads right back to a refreshment station.

Vlad isn’t so interested in the food as he is about where to find the bathroom. Much to Lena’s disapproval, Vlad didn’t bring along a Port-A-Potty just yet, but he assures her that he has made a call to have one brought in. Lena isn’t too thrilled about this, but shows him the way to the bathroom while the rest of the workers settle in.

While at work, Martin is looking at lavish camper vans when one of his coworkers comes in reminding him that he has up to three months of unused “play days” left. He needs to use them and go enjoy his life. She wants him to “seize the play” as she puts it. Martin’s work provides these “play days” so workers can go enjoy the outdoors. Martin used to love taking advantage of these days; however, Lena never enjoyed camping so he stopped going.

Vlad and his workers are making themselves too at home,and Lena is not happy in the least bit. In fact, she starts picking up after them and tells Vlad they need to start actually working. Martin doesn’t seem to care much and lets Lena handle it the way she wants, even though he thinks that she should just let them do their thing and not interfere. Apparently, there is a problem with crawl space under the house. It is too wet and damp, but Lena doesn’t care. She wants him to fix the space because the house will collapse from underneath otherwise. Apparently, Vlad had already told Martin something was wrong, but Lena wants Vlad to come to her because she is emotionally invested.

Determined to go camping, Martin decides he is going to convince one of the kids to join him for a weekend away. He first goes to Milo who is only interested in playing with fire and then to Mae who is knee deep in reading about Wiccan-related things. That leaves Mason, who is still nursing his broken heart. Martin suggests that Mason join him and get out of the house for the weekend. However, Lena had made plans for their “Curls Night Out” in which she, Mason and Mae flaunt their curly hair and go out on the town. Martin is angry about the fact that Lena makes Mason participate in things like this and feels like it is emasculating him. And just like that, Mason agrees to go with Martin so they can be “strong, capable men.”

Lena starts to irritate Vlad once again and says she read that the flooring needs to breathe for at least ten days and she doesn’t want him to install the wood if the house isn’t prepared yet. At this point in time, Vlad is frustrated beyond belief with Lena and says that he’d rather deal with Martin. Unfortunately for Vlad, Martin has left for the camping trip with Mason, but things aren’t going as expected. In fact, Mason prepares to take a shower only to learn that there aren’t any showers around. Martin is bewildered to see Mason wearing a shower cap and towel and tells him that he can go shower in the stream if he wants. Things aren’t going well between them and only get more awkward when Martin finds out that Mason doesn’t like to get his hair wet unless he has to. Mason feels he is disappointing Martin because of the way he is even though Martin says this is not the case.

Back at the house, Lena overhears the workers talking about her and how she needs to get laid. While talking to Camille (Lindsay Price), Lena finds out that she probably does need to get laid and is neglecting self care. She’s spending so much time inside the house that she is ignoring her other needs. This prompts Lena to send Wes (Trent Garrett) a “You up” text, which she elaborates on by asking if he wants to have sex.

Mason and Martin go hunting, but when Martin tries to shoot a deer Mason stops him because he feels bad. He doesn’t want them to kill animals and have them for dinner. Once again, Mason feels awkward about letting down his dad.

Lena finally lets loose and has “nooner” sex with Wes, who still has a girlfriend. Apparently, they’re polyamorous and she learns he isn’t lying when his girlfriend comes home and greets them excitedly. The girlfriend isn’t angry in the least bit and she’s more irritated when she thinks he has eaten lunch without her.

Back at the campsite, Martin and Mason are pitching a tent and when Mason breaks one of the nails he gets upset and says he is ruining everything. Martin tries to push him to be stronger and says he can’t just break down because of a girl. Mason begs to differ and says his heart is broken and hurts. He explains that he’s not worried about ego or the manlier things that Martin keeps talking about. Thankfully, Martin begins to understand that Mason is comfortable with who he is and is proud of him for knowing who he is and knowing who he wants to be.

Vlad and his workers finally tidied up around the yard and Lena is ecstatic to see how much work has been done. Of course, Vlad was always going to do this work, but Lena just wouldn’t stop bothering him. Since Vlad is doing work on the floor inside the house, the entire Wagner family has to sleep outside and must go to their backyard to camp as a result. Martin and Lena finally have a civil, happy moment between them as Lena tells Martin he was right about her needing to calm down. And Martin shares that she has done an amazing job with Mason and she should be proud of how much she had to do with it. Awww, talk about cute family moments, right?