The Carmichael Show – Lesbian Wedding

By starrymag | June 20, 2017

By: Jessica Wolff

 

In the kitchen, Joe Carmichael (David Alan Grier) declares that he’s so glad that his niece decided to become a lesbian as their family will look liberal when they post her wedding pictures on Facebook.  Maxine (Amber Stevens West) tells him that people don’t choose to be gay and Cynthia Carmichael (Loretta Devine) believes that nobody would choose to offend God.  Jerrod Carmichael (Jerrod Carmichael) tells Maxine that the fact that they’re going to a lesbian wedding is as much progress as they can expect in one afternoon.

 

Bobby Carmichael (LilRel Howery) comes in and says he won’t be able to come to the wedding, which Joe classifies as a hate crime.  Bobby admits that he hates going to weddings alone, especially a lesbian one.  When Jerrod asks about his plans to go with Nekeisha (Tiffany Haddish), he tells him that she is now going with a guy she met recently.  Maxine offers to set him up with a coworker and Bobby is appreciative.  Joe asks why he can’t find his own date and he admits that he’s tried every dating app available to him.

 

Maxine tells Bobby that her coworker has agreed to go with him and Bobby is excited.  However, Jerrod is suspicious of her responding quickly and being so available.  Cynthia asks if she has herpes and Bobby says that she doesn’t care what she has since she’s hot.  Joe reminds him that he hasn’t actually seen the girl, but Bobby believes that she has to be near the hotness level of Maxine who is almost a 9.  Jerrod asks Bobby to show respect to his girlfriend, as she is a 9.5.  Joe declares that every group of hot girls has an ugly friend to contrast them.  Cynthia demands to know if Maxine is giving Bobby the short end of the stick and Maxine says that her friend is cute.  Cynthia replies that cute is how you describe a premature baby.

 

Jerrod asks to see a picture and Maxine looks through her phone for the perfect picture.  She settles on a picture and the family looks at it.  When Bobby looks at the photo, he grimaces and Jerrod declares that she’s hideous.  Maxine tells him that he’s being rude.  Maxine calls him out for calling her friend ugly and that beauty is subjective.  Jerrod agrees, but adds that ugly is also universal.  Joe chimes in that this girl would be shut down by the city if she were a restaurant.  Maxine argues that looks aren’t everything and that her friend has a beautiful soul.  Joe points out that so did Mother Theresa, but she probably didn’t get many dates.

 

Maxine tells Bobby that she is able to text back and cancel, but Bobby believes that it’s rude to cancel now.  She believes that they’ll really hit it off, but Bobby looks miserable as he thanks her for the opportunity.  As the family follows Bobby to the living room, Jerrod assures him that he doesn’t have to go through with this.  Bobby says he’ll do it since he believes that he deserves it.  He believes that Maxine thinks he’s a 3 and asks his family if that’s true.  Cynthia tells him that he deserves better than that creature and asks Maxine why she’s trying to destroy his self-esteem.  She insists that she’s not and that she thinks they will be great for each other.

 

Jerrod points out that this is a wedding, which is the high school reunion of family affairs.  Everyone is trying to bring the most attractive date to show off.  Joe declares that they are a family of 8s and that this girl would drag them down to a 4.  Maxine doesn’t believe that society will be as judgmental as they think, but Jerrod points out that they are part of society.  Joe says that when it comes to looks, people need to stick with their own kind.  Jerrod says that he saw a mixed-race gay couple making out and the only thing wrong about that was one of the guys was way more attractive than the other one.

 

Bobby is worried that people will think less of him if he goes to the wedding with this girl, but Joe says that he already thinks less of him for considering.  Maxine assures Bobby that people will be happy for him if he’s happy with her.  Nekeisha comes in with her date, Todd, who is incredibly good looking.  Cynthia is excited as Nekeisha shows him off and makes him show off his abs.  Nekeisha announces that she is going to have sex and tells Bobby that she won’t be putting a sock on the door this time.  Cynthia calls out to him as he leaves to not be a stranger.

 

Having seen and heard enough, Bobby tells Maxine that he can’t take her ugly friend to the wedding.  Maxine gets frustrated with everyone for ruining a potentially good relationship, but Jerrod says that they’re just being honest.  She points out that so many women have body image issues because of people like them being so small-minded.  Jerrod tells her that she has no perspective on it because she is beautiful and her life is a cakewalk.  Maxine gets mad at the insinuation that her life has been a cakewalk and Cynthia chimes in that she was born rich as well.  Joe comments that it’s condescending that Maxine looks so beautiful and walks around like she’s “the Martin Luther King Jr. of ugly people.”

 

Horrified by the insinuation, Maxine declares that she’s never used her looks to get things.  Jerrod tells her to not be so naïve and deny that she doesn’t enjoy the perks of being beautiful.  He explains that at parties guys laugh really hard at her jokes.  She believes that they laugh the appropriate amount and Joe asks if she really thinks she is funny.  She believes she has funny moments and Joe demands that she say something funny.  Maxine says that nobody can by funny on the spot and Cynthia comments that the statement isn’t funny.

 

Jerrod says that her life would be different if she wasn’t beautiful, for example they wouldn’t be together.  She gets angry and Jerrod mentions that he didn’t notice her intellect and ambition from across the room.  She confirms that he’s only dating her because of what she looks like and he corrects her by saying he started dating her because of what she looked like.  He tells her that he fell for her personality ten weeks later and Maxine is angry that it took him ten weeks to think she was a good person.  He tells her that he thinks it’s great that she’s pretty enough to not need a good personality, but liking her personality as well is like finding a hundred dollars in a box of donuts.  Maxine points out how offensive it is that he thinks that she’s only defined by her looks.  He tells her that it’s not just him, but everyone thinks that.

 

At their apartment, Jerrod tells Maxine to hurry up because they don’t know when the gay marriage laws will change.  Maxine comes out of the bathroom in a conservative dress and no makeup.  Jerrod asks why she looks like she only has six months left to live, and Maxine tells him that she doesn’t want to be judged by her appearance.  Jerrod tells her not to do it today and to change for the wedding.  She asks if he would be embarrassed to be seen with her and he admits that he would.  He tells her that she looks like a disciple and that he has several bets with family members on how hot she is.

 

Maxine tells him that she wants to make connections with his family based on her personality rather than her looks.  Jerrod tells her that she’s his biggest accomplishment and Maxine gets angry that he’s treating her like a trophy.  He tells her that everyone loves trophies and asks her to change and look like the award he worked so hard to win.  She refuses and he tells her to do it for gay people since she’s so supportive of them.

 

At the wedding, Cynthia remarks that she hopes that God doesn’t know she’s here.  Joe admits that he’s excited and that heterosexual weddings won’t be good enough for him anymore after he’s experienced a lesbian wedding.  Cynthia hopes that one of the brides isn’t wearing a tuxedo, as that is going too far.  Nekeisha and Bobby come in and she tells them that Todd flaked out on her and that she is stuck with Bobby.  Maxine walks in and Cynthia is horrified that she looks like a runaway slave.  Joe comments that her showing up like this is like the star quarterback showing up in a wheelchair.  Nekeisha questions if this is a silent protest and is confused because she thought that Maxine loved gay people.  Maxine says that this is not a protest and Nekeisha says that the only way she would be dressed like that is if she was going to get hit by a fire hose.

 

The mother of one of the brides comes in and hugs Cynthia and Jerrod.  She notices Maxine and asks Jerrod is this is his girlfriend.  He reluctantly says yes and she tells Maxine that she is stunning and more beautiful than her daughter’s bride.  She admits that she’s still having a hard time accepting that her daughter is marrying a woman.  As she walks away, Jerrod is surprised that she thought Maxine was beautiful.  Cynthia thinks she’s lying because Maxine’s look is embarrassing.  Maxine says it doesn’t matter what she looks like and that Cynthia should be embarrassed for being embarrassed.

 

Uncle Pete walks in and notices Maxine.  He pays Jerrod and admits that she is beautiful.  He asks if she’s a prostitute and Maxine asks why a prostitute would be dressed like this.  He tells Jerrod that he’ll come back for his money if he finds that Maxine is really a prostitute.  Jerrod is amazed about how much she’s being complimented and comments that she couldn’t make herself look ugly if she tried.  Cousin Demarquill (Mike Gray) comes in and realizes that he needs to pay up upon seeing Maxine.  She points out that she has a name, a personality and a master’s degree, but he says they didn’t bet on any of that.

 

Maxine tells Jerrod that making bets on her appearance is degrading.  Joe insinuates that she’s mad that she didn’t get in on the bets herself.  Maxine says that she doesn’t want the money and Nekeisha asks what she does want.  She says that she doesn’t know what her angle is and Cynthia believes that she’s trying to draw more attention to herself by showing that she’s beautiful without even trying.  Maxine gets frustrated and loudly declares that she’s been beautiful all of her life and that society is superficial.  She asks that people stop paying attention to how beautiful she looks for once.  Everyone stares at the scene and Cynthia calls her outburst ugly.  Joe reminds her that the day was not supposed to be about her.  Todd enters and Nekeisha is surprised to see him.  He apologizes and Nekeisha brings him into the wedding.  Bobby decides to leave the wedding in response.

 

Maxine feels guilty and questions if she’s a monster.  Jerrod says that she kind of was, but calls her a beautiful monster.  She says that she wanted to believe that the world wasn’t so superficial.  Jerrod tells her that he values her personality more than her looks and that he would stay with her if her face was disfigured in an accident.  They embrace and she declares that she is keeping the bet money.