The Royals – Aye, There’s the Rub

By starrymag | December 22, 2016

By: Luke Joseph

 

In Love with his Brother’s Girl

 

It looks like Liam’s (William Mosley) feelings for Kathryn (Christina Wolfe) aren’t new. In fact, they’ve always been there even during the time that his brother Robert (Max Brown) had been in a relationship with her. The episode opens with a flashback showing how the brothers had met Kathryn. Robert and Liam were at a pub (Kathryn’s father’s pub) to honor her father for his services to the country. While Robert was charming the people with speeches, Liam was too enamored by Kathryn to even look his brother’s way. Though it was clear as day that Liam was smitten it wasn’t enough to sway Robert away who ended up calling “bagsy” on Kathryn, causing Liam to long for her on the sidelines.

 

Presently, Liam is in absolute heaven because he’s finally got the girl, but he’s still feeling guilty over it as he slips out of bed and finds his attention on the photo of Robert and Kathryn. “I miss him every day,” he admits to her only for Kathryn to admit she feels guilty about the whole thing. As guilt ridden as Kathryn feels about how wrong all of this is, Liam is only convinced on how right it all feels. “I spent a lot of time in my brother’s shadow and that was okay because I loved him,” he explains to her. “But it wasn’t okay the day I met you. I don’t regret what happened last night. You shouldn’t either.” The next time Liam shows up is literally five minutes later and once that door opens they find themselves back in bed. Though Liam wants to spend a lazy day in bed, Kathryn can’t because she has a shift to work and suggests Liam one day make a trip there because it might do him some good.

 

Wanting to earn himself brownie points, Liam visits the pub and, of course, draws the attention of everyone working there including Kathryn’s sister who believes she might actually have a chance with his highness. Unfortunately, Liam only has eyes for one girl and its Kathryn, causing her sister to roll her eyes and stomp off. It looks like back in the day Robert kept his relationship with Kathryn discreet because he was next in line for the throne and that’s something that Liam had trouble grasping. “Kathryn is not just anyone. If she was my girl I wouldn’t hide her,” and from the little display in the present day at the pub Liam is proving just that.

 

As happy as Liam seems to be can we pause for a moment and talk about Willow (Genevieve Gaunt)? Is Liam suddenly blind that he can’t see his dear friend practically has hearts in her eyes each time she looks at him? That’s exactly what happens when she pops in to say hello and notes how she likes this new version of him. Yes, he’s blinded by happiness because he’s completely oblivious to the fact that she’s not interested in his friend but rather Liam. “You should give him a chance (she rather give you a chance you idiot). I just want you to be happy (she wants to be happy with you!).” Ugh! I give up! His highness is blind.

 

The Queens Rubbish Reality Sick Day

 

When it comes to being a royal the people view them as invincible, but at the end of the day they’re still human and they get sick. Unlike the people though, the royals have it made. Last week Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley) proved it’s good to be Queen and that only continued when she found herself unexpectedly sick and told to stay in bed by Lord Chamberlain Spencer Hoenigsberg (Jules Knight). The Queen is greeted to many assortments of food, but the most comical thing presented to her is a reality show called “Royal & Beautiful” that she finds drawing her interest. The show stars this obnoxious Prince called Prince Lichtenstein (who is the son of Elizabeth Hurley, proving that acting runs in the family). It seems Queen Helena can relate to being royal and beautiful causing her to immediately embrace and root for the Prince (Damian Hurley). Throughout the day she has a number of visitors who she has watching the series with her including all the maids at the palace who she has a viewing party with in her bedroom.

 

Sadly, the binge fest gets put on hold when Cyrus (Jake Maskall) strolls into the room requesting a word with the Queen. Here’s the King of England wanting to have a moment with the Queen and instead of the help respecting the request they merely shoo him away because he’s in front of the television. Gold! Eventually, Helena dismisses it so that her and Cyrus can speak in private. “That wasn’t Violet in the garden’s so who was it,” Cyrus demands (looks like he’s desperate to find Violet in any form to help him with a problem that goes unsolved). The Queen brushes him off, but finally spills the tea once Cyrus blocks the screen. “Spoiler alert! Gunta brings him ice cream that is too cold and he moans about it.” It only makes sense that someone as cynical as Cyrus reveals a spoiler and breaks binge watching rules.

 

The Pistol, The Princess & Their Scrivener

 

In he last episode of “The Royals” Eleanor (Alexandra Park) confessed to Jasper (Tom Austen) that every day she walks into the library, opening up a hollowed book and hoping to find a letter of her own written to her by that special someone. With Eleanor’s wish finally coming true (sort-of) she finds herself struggling to write a letter as beautiful as Jasper’s. Thankfully, Sara Alice (Miley Locke) enlightens the Princess (who Sara Alice still believes isn’t an actual Princess) telling her that rather than writing it herself she should just have her royal scrivener do it for her. This results in Eleanor turning to James Hill (Rocky Marshall). Eleanor says, “Jasper recently wrote me the most beautiful letter. I need your help and you know us better than anyone.” James then goes on to ask Eleanor if she had ever written a letter to Jasper before to which she notes just through texts. Wanting to show James an example, she pulls out her phone and shows the text messages back and forth between her and Jasper noting, “There’s no Emojii for Jasper so we chose sunglasses and a pistol.” It’s bad enough that James will be writing a love letter to Jasper, but it gets even worse when Eleanor’s text begins to read, “I want your banana in my honey pot.” It looks like Eleanor enjoys sexting with Emojis. The most comical part in all of this? The fact that the Princess has no shame in this, she even goes as far as admitting to James she was thinking about using the taco instead. Realizing that she desperately needs his help and he agrees. Oh James, you poor man.

 

With the Princess having her letter it only seemed fair for the Bodyguard to have one and thanks to James, Jasper now does. “Remember that letter that you helped me write Eleanor?” Aww! So Jasper had help, too. “Not really, I do remember the letter I completely wrote for you,” James corrects. Well s—t! It seems James pretty much is writing letters to and from himself and do Eleanor and Jasper know? Nope. And now it looks like Jasper feels the need to respond back with one just as good, I mean amazing, sorry James. What’s the best part in all of this? The fact that James is Jasper’s boss and yet he’s the one who is doing all the work.

 

“How can her hair be as dark as a mountain, but bright as a sun? It doesn’t make any sense,” so this is pretty much how Jasper spends his day at work. “It doesn’t have to make perfect sense. Its poetic,” James (Jasper’s boss) argues back. “There’s a fine line between poetic and pathetic,” Jasper fires back. Just when you think things couldn’t get more amusing the Princess enters and BUSTED! Now knowing the truth, the beautiful letter Jasper had written is now out as Eleanor re-reads it over seeing how it no longer sounds like Jasper. Little Sara Alice who had been present during the confrontation instantly breaks things off with Jasper upon hearing of his feelings for the Princess making her one hundred percent done with him. “These letters were supposed to be between us, not us,” emphasizing between the three of them as James and Jasper each look guilty as hell looking down at the floor as they get scolded. “How could you both betray my trust like that,” but wait Eleanor! Aren’t you doing the same thing? “I beg your pardon Princess, but you had me write your letter as well,” James confesses making Jasper now feel a little less guilty. “This is not about me,” she retorts and in that moment Eleanor is all of us each time we’re accusing someone of something we’ve done as well. What’s the first thing Jasper asks after hearing this reveal? Does she think he has the body of a Greek God? Nope, but fret not Jasper because it seems James does. Needless to say as funny as this whole ordeal is, Eleanor can’t share in the laughter when she comes to the conclusion they might not be right for each other since they can’t even come up with a few sentences on how they feel for the other.

 

The DNA Results are in

After gathering her children around, Queen Helena is ready to reveal the results of the DNA test and when it comes to Liam and Eleanor, King Simon (Vincent Regan) is in fact their biological father. It looks like no one will be running off the stage or rather out of the palace crying. “The previous tests weren’t a mistake by the lab. Your blood was never tested. It was all a scheme, a lie, invented by me and Cyrus.” Queen Helena confesses this, but Liam sees through it now understanding the reason why she did it. “I know why you made the deal, you didn’t believe in me. Honestly, I didn’t believe in myself back then either, but I need you to believe in me now,” Liam passionately states. “I do,” Helena replies and guess what Liam we believe in you as well and so does Eleanor as she gives a mock curtsey to the future king. How refreshing is it to see this family happy?

Once again Willow observes that happiness wanting to celebrate with Liam after hearing the news to which he politely declines wanting to do a rain check. Eventually, Liam admits to having a hot date and just like that fans are watching Willow’s hopeful expression fall. Is she bitter about it? Is she cursing him out? Nope, instead she’s giving him her well wishes saying, “There’s nothing to be sorry about. Have a great time and congratulations, truly.” Are you kidding me Liam? You’re choosing someone who clearly is still in love with your brother (who she believes is dead) over someone who puts your own happiness above her? Does one plus one not equal two for you? You’re the future King! You’re supposed to make the right choices. It’s easy to understand why Willow decides to give it a shot with this other guy, but we’re still crossing our fingers for you girl.

My Breathtaking Princess

“When I think of a real Princess I always think of Eleanor because a real Princess doesn’t need to be rescued. That’s what Eleanor is. She’s a real Princess because she does what she wants and she’s always true to herself.” Hey Jasper? While you were telling this to Sara Alice you do realize you pretty much just wrote a letter only instead of writing it you said it verbally. Lucky for you, Eleanor heard it all. So, how does the real Princess react after hearing this? By finally giving Jaspenor fans what they have wanted for oh so very long. Yup, Eleanor presses her lips to Jasper’s and that kiss leads to more kisses and the dominate side of Jasper coming out ordering, “Take off your clothes,” which earns him a smile from Eleanor.

While his Princess slumbers away after being completely spent from their love making and making up for lost time, Jasper slips out of bed to write Eleanor a letter. “My breathtaking Princess I’m watching you sleep, not in a creepy way, well not entirely creepy.” Upon finding the letter tucked away in the hollowed out book it results in Eleanor beaming and what’s even more beautiful about this scene? Queen Helena is watching the entire thing. Back in episode 2×06, the twin’s birthday, fans endured the sight of their favorite Princess’ heart breaking after the truth came out about Mandy and Jasper. Helena watched from afar as her daughter fell apart. Flash forward to the present as she’s now watching her daughter be put back together. The parallel is so beautiful and one can’t help, but wonder if it was simply by coincidence or done on purpose. Either way it’s a tender scene between mother and daughter showing just how far they’ve come in their relationship.

The episode closes off with Eleanor and Helena walking through the palace halls. “Everything is exactly as it should be,” Helena explains. Suddenly, she comes to a dead halt when her eyes land on her not so dead son standing before her and now s—t just got crazy.