The Royals – My News Shall Be the Fruit to That Great Feast

By starrymag | April 22, 2018

By: Luke Joseph

 

 

Happy Birthday to Queen Helena! Only does it count as a happy birthday if everyone attending the birthday celebration is far from happy and downright dramatic? Things were chaotic at best, but what made things so tense during the dinner party? To understand that we must rewind to everything that happened before the wine was thrown onto a surprised yet displeased King.

 

Before the Party

 

When someone pops the question the word that comes after it is usually “yes” or “no” so as Robert (Max Brown) waits with bated breath Willow (Genevieve Gaunt) surprises him not saying either of the answers. “You proposed to me. The sweetest proposal and I said ‘maybe.’’ Ouch, but that doesn’t seem to deter Robert at all as he agrees that though everything is happening so sudden it feels right. He’s not bowing his head down in defeat. “The good thing about the word maybe is there is a fifty percent chance of it becoming a yes.”

 

Liam (William Moseley) too seems to be popping the question, but fret not as it doesn’t deal with a ring or anything close to “I do.” His question is a bit smaller, but a step forward none the less. He’s inviting Kathryn (Christina Wolfe) to his mother’s birthday dinner. Though she seems reluctant considering her ex will be there, eventually she agrees to attend.

 

“Things have a way of working themselves out.” Ever since Jasper (Tom Austen) found out that the bullet had been meant for him, King Robert’s words have been repeating in his head. It’s no surprise that Jasper is suspicious of the King. However, inspecting photos from that day will have to wait because Eleanor (Alexandra Park) is in the mood to play. Okay, not really. She accidently hurts Jasper and it results in the two rolling around in bed. Jasper laughs, full on laughs, but the moment is interrupted by a king who apparently doesn’t know how to knock.

 

Queen Helena (Elizabeth Hurley) might be adding another year to her life, but the way she’s acting is that of a teenager, especially when the Grand Duchess (Joan Collins) herself tries entering the room only to have Helena do everything in her power so that her mother and the rest of the staff isn’t aware she has a boy in the room. Yes, we said boy because Sebastian (Toby Sandeman) is a young one. Succeeding in getting her mom to leave, she goes back to meet Sebastian explaining that this can never happen again.

 

Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner

 

The best way of explaining the beginning of the Queen’s birthday is awkward. Jasper is the first to arrive giving James Bond a run for his money and it only makes sense that his Bond girl be as ravishing as Eleanor. “You and that dress is doing something to me,” he smoothly supplies. Again, their playful moment is interrupted as Sebastian enters the room which surprises the two of them. This makes Eleanor assume that Robert invited him only to sabotage her relationship with Jasper. Robert and Willow enter but disappear shortly after when Willow requests to speak to Robert before the dinner. The birthday girl’s eyes practically bug out when her eyes set on Sebastian who explains to her the invite happened so fast that he didn’t have time to tell her. Thankfully, things smooth over when Eleanor and Robert’s birthday surprise enters the room; it’s Prince Han (Damien Hurley) from Queen Helena’s favorite reality show. As thrilled as she is though things once again get awkward when Liam enters with Kathryn on his arm. But that’s not all! The Duchy arrives as well with the Count, a/k/a Jasper’s father (Richard Brake), and from the wide eyes in the room you know we are in for one delicious and dramatic evening.

 

It’s My Party I’ll Throw Wine If I Want To

 

Dinner parties usually consist of games and this one doesn’t disappoint. It’s called “Who’s the Worst” as every person goes around the table firing back at past/present misdeeds that person has committed. The Duchy killing “Domino” by poisoning her horse is brought up when she tells Liam it’s poor form to date his brother’s ex. Jasper’s father tries to make a toast but is cut off by Jasper only to realize that had been a mistake which draws the Duchy to lecture him. “What does your father do,” she questions causing Eleanor to mutter under her breath “you apparently.” Liam and Eleanor are quick to remind their grandma that she has nothing and the matriarch of the family is their mom. Displeased with how she’s being treated she makes her exit, but the punches still continue and lead to the Queen herself demanding that Robert walk away which he practically scoffs at reminding her he’s the king. But guess what? She’s still his mom and right now he needs a time out. “Willow and I are getting married,” he announces as he rises to leave. “Happy birthday, mother. God save the queen.”

 

Even a Horrible Night Can Be Salvaged

 

After making his dramatic exit with his future bride in tow it’s understandable that some guests take a break so they can collect their thoughts and catch their breath. Jasper heads down to the tunnels and encounters his father. The two share a heart to heart where Earl apologizes for being a horrible father but makes it known that he’s proud of his son. Feeling that he has his father on his side, he reveals that the bullet was meant for him and tells him he believes that the king did it. Earl knocks that theory down and when Jasper questions why he’s so sure he gives an answer that surprises the hell out of his son saying, “I’m the one who shot you.” We all should have figured this out when he subtly told Jasper during the black out how every man should be shot once in his life. The kicker to all of this? Earl did it out of love because he knew Jasper being shot would get him the girl.

 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve said I’m sorry but I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve said I’m proud of my brother and sister, but of course I am. It’s been a long time since I’ve been the person I want to be. The person I expect to be. I love my family and I’m sorry that I took that for granted.” Finally, Liam is giving a toast that isn’t causing the table to fall into an uproar. “Someone told me recently if you’re strong enough to destroy something, you’re strong enough to repair it,” he says as his eyes fix towards his brother for a moment and then he continues. “I plan to repair what I’ve destroyed because you all deserve better.”

 

Oh, What a Knight

 

King Robert is greeted by two unwelcomed guests. The first makes him ponder his relationship with Willow and the second shows him that as great as he is at chess even a simple con-man can say “King me” to the king and win the round. Cassandra (Emily Barber) once again slips past security and as always is sporting her lingerie as she tries but fails in seducing him. Well, she doesn’t understand the word “no,” but at least she listens to orders. As she’s about to leave though she shows Robert that she’s quite the observant one as she gives him a word of warning about Willow. “You think you’re playing with her heart, but she’s playing with yours. One thing I know with complete clarity, she doesn’t love you.” If that doesn’t sour his mood for the evening an encounter with Jasper’s dad certainly does. “I gave you a story about your son and the Princess and you sold it for a great sum. End of transaction or don’t, you people believe in honor among thieves,” Robert sarcastically questions. If he’s trying to intimidate Earl though it’s not working as he remains sitting in the king’s chair and smug as ever. King Robert has always enjoyed being the blackmailer, but this time Earl shows he’s in control. “Your problem with my son isn’t that his father’s a con man. Your problem with my son is that he’s common. How about we fix that?”

 

As Eleanor returns to her bedroom, Jasper easily reads that she’s stoned. Deciding to spill the beans he confesses that he had been under the belief that Robert had been the one behind the shooting. Rather than being offended by it she gets what makes him think that, considering anything is possible these days with this family. Since Jasper had been honest Eleanor feels it’s her turn as she reveals that she’s London’s Robin Hood. She kept it from him because he had enough to worry about. “Yeah but I’m always going to worry because I love you,” he reasons with her. The admission causing a soft smile to form on her lips. “I love you.” This is the first moment that these two have said it to each other at the same time. Can we have a moment to bask in this? No, because Robert has breezed into the room once again. This time it is to announce that he will be knighting Jasper. You heard correctly. Jasper Frost is getting knighted and you can thank Papa Frost for that one!