The X-Files – Nothing Lasts Forever

By: Kelly Kearney

This week’s “The X-Files,” the last before the series finale, tells the gruesome tale of an organ eating cult who believes their bizarre diets are the key to everlasting beauty and youth. Add an avenging sister slayer, a lot of religious imagery and a few beautiful Mulder and Scully moments and you start to realize why stand-alone episodes are such fan favorites.

Scully’s Faith

We open on a dark and dingy operating room that is less of a hospital and more of a basement in some run-down building, where two surgeons are removing and licking (freshness is important) the organs of a man. While the doctors debate the freshness of their bounty, a young woman (Carlena Britch) or maybe an avenging angel crashes their party and drives a metal stake through their hearts while reciting bible versus about vengeance. It’s immediately clear that these men were illegally harvesting organs and this female vigilante, who probably has a personal stake in all of this (no pun intended) dropped the biblical hammer on them before they had a chance to deliver their goods. After the slayer drops the organs off at a local ER, the case falls on the desk of the FBI’s least favorite agents. Missing organs and possible vampire slayers require the expertise of Mulder (David Duchovny) and Scully (Gillian Anderson), even though the local police roll their eyes at their entrance to the crime scene, this kind of gory case is right up their alley.

After scaring off the local PD with stories about wooden stakes being the preferred weapon of choice when taking down a vampire, Mulder and Scully seem more interested in their new looks. Mulder’s sporting a new pair of glasses or “progressive lenses” he corrects Scully when she asks if they’re bifocals. It’s clear he needed them since he just realized his partner got her haircut! Scully doesn’t seem to mind the fact her work/on again/off again life partner is getting older, it’s a natural process we all go through and it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. After assessing the evidence, the partners head to a church where Scully does her Catholic thing and lights a few prayer candles because this poor woman needs all the help she can get. She tells Mulder she needs some time and, just like that, Scully’s rediscovered her faith. It’s really no surprise considering what they’re going through with their son and the ever-impending doom of the alien virus swinging above them like some sword of Damocles. Mulder waits for her in the pews and Scully joins him for a whispering talk about her faith and where it all began. Pulling out the quarter her mother was holding when she died, Scully tells him a story about a puppy she prayed for and woke up to on Christmas morning. Mulder jokes that maybe if his parents had bought him a puppy he would have faith too. Scully doesn’t see him as faithless as his never-ending search for the truth is his religion and she respects it. “I need what you have,” she says. “You always bear North.” As the two quietly chat about their beliefs or lack thereof, a woman named Juliet approaches the alter and tells the priest she is done praying for her sister Olivia (Micaela Aguilera). “I will make mine arrows drunk with blood,” she says. Yup, you guessed it, Juliet is the stake wielding vigilante and her sister is involved with a cult that has something to do with licking organs. Juliet believes she’s doing God’s work and even used the church’s fence posts as her weapon of choice. She doesn’t appear to feel any remorse for her actions and when we hear Scully tell Mulder that all we have are the results of our own actions, it’s clear Juliet thinks her actions are justifiable.

Enteral Youth Smoothies

It’s not long before we find out why Olivia left her religious family, she was embarrassed by her looks and this cult is all about beauty and youth. In what appears to be an orgy den for budding vampires, Olivia and a group of young followers worship a youthful film star named Barbara Bay Beaumont (Fiona Vroom) who, at eighty-something, doesn’t look a day over thirty years old. Whatever is in those organ shakes Olivia is whipping up must be working because she went from an acne faced girl to a smooth skinned goddess and no amount of facial cleanser could do that. Barbara swears on these shakes as well as a medical procedure known as Heterochronic Parabosis, an actual experiment where you surgically attach two living humans together. Combining the organ shakes with a surgical Siamese twin appears to have a fountain of youth affect and thanks to her boyfriend Dr. Luvenis (Jere Burns) they’ve almost perfected this technique. In the meantime, they’ve attracted a following of ugly ducklings looking to become Beaumont beauties. Just like any cult, Olivia and the others worship their leader Barbara and truly believe these experiments are worth dying for. As we flip between Scully taking communion in church, we see Barbara cutting the hands of one of her followers and drinking the blood straight form the tap. Besides the aging actress’ looks, it’s clear she also has her mind set on a career comeback since she endlessly watches reruns of her self-titled show from the 60’s. She might never see the light of day, but when Barbara finally reverts to the beauty she once was Hollywood will be ready and waiting for her… or so she thinks. Just like “The X-Files,” Barbara, nothing lasts forever – no matter how many times you recite old dialogue from a show.

After Mulder realizes the stakes used to impale the surgeons came from the church they do a little digging and wind up interviewing Juliet who leaves Mulder with an uneasy feeling about her part in these murders. Meanwhile, Barbara’s desperate for her meal organs that Juliet left in front of an emergency room so she cuts her boyfriend free from his sewn-on twin and orders him to find them before her face starts looking like a road map. While Luvenis is on the search Barbara convinces Warren (Samuel Patrick Chu), one of her cult members, to kill himself to the sound of her singing the 70’s ballad “The Morning After.” The cult rips the man apart and hands the organs to their leader just as Mulder and Scully start tracking the organs, which have conveniently gone missing from the hospital. Luckily, there was a GPS device in the organ cooler and they follow it to an apartment building in the Bronx owned by Barbara. Mulder does a little Googling on the actress as the building Super (Viv Leacock) tells them he’s never met the owner or her doctor boyfriend since they aren’t really the outdoorsy types. Mulder reads about her mediocre career, her boyfriend Dr. Luvenis’ work and their subsequent forever young cult. The Super explains that he never questioned why the owner stays hidden and tells them her “friends” use the building’s back exits, secret rooms and hidden garbage shoots to travel in and out. Scully asks him if he thinks that’s weird and the man shrugs and says, “This is the Bronx.” And since he’s getting paid, he keeps his mouth shut. He does tell the agents that Beaumont resides on the 4^th floor and the two walk up to talk to their possible suspect. Of course, Mulder is still convinced Juliet is the murderer they’re looking for but when they meet the youthful Barbara, things begin to make sense.

Mulder, Scully and the future

Immediately, Scully is confused by Beaumont’s young appearance and before Barbara can explain her cult members attack the agents, sending Scully spiraling down the buildings laundry shoot! Mulder manages to get away from his attackers long enough to see Juliet storm in and stake Barbara right through the heart. Shaken, Mulder leaves Juliet to her biblical rantings to search for Scully and stumbles upon Dr. Luvenis sewn to Olivia. Obviously, he is disgusted by this experiment, but Luvenis tries explaining that his work is important because it cures the one disease all humans suffer from – old age and death. Mulder tries reasoning with him, but Juliet runs in and kills Luvenis and slices her sister free. This gives Mulder a minute to find Scully who he hears calling him from the nearby garbage shoot. Luckily, years of trash and dirty orgy mattresses broke her fall and besides smelling like a dumpster she appears to be fine. Juliet approaches the agents and is unrepentant for her actions and ready to pay for her crimes. All she wanted was her sister back and their mother’s prayers to be answered, God will reward her if this world does not.

With the case closed, Scully’s back at church lighting a candle and as Mulder approaches its mysteriously snuffed out. The two laugh like it’s sign that Scully’s all out of miracles, but Mulder relights her fire. He may not share Scully’s faith, but he does have faith in her and because of that, he believes God is cool with his second-hand prayers. It’s that whole idea that if, “A=B and B=C than, A must= C,” meaning God will do Mulder this solid if its for his homegirl Scully. The moment is sweet but segues into defining their relationship which has been confusing this season and pretty much the entire series. With all their disastrous dates, bed sharing and still no definition as to what they are, it’s not only confusing to fans but its starting to wear on Scully. “Are we together,” she asks and that’s the million-dollar question we would all like to know the answer to. Mulder admits to feeling guilty for all the things Scully’s lost over the years; her dog, her sister, her two children, her losses seem endless to the man who looks at her like the answers to the universe reside in her baby blues. He wonders if she left their basement office, would she be happily married with kids and running the FBI?  Scully smiles and admits that she doesn’t “begrudge you any of that,” and never blamed him for his faith in the truth or her choice to follow him. What she does regret was her inability to protect William as well as her decision to give up on their life together. Mulder reminds Scully that its been his choice to stand by her side and he’s still standing there, ready to listen to what she wants for her future. She leans in, almost like she’s planning a kiss, but then whispers something into Mulder’s ear. Whatever she tells him puts a surprising glint in his eye and when she pulls back she mentions that she’s done living in the past and plans on looking towards the future, one she wants with Mulder! Whether Scully whispered, “find William,” or “I’m pregnant from our hotel romp,” doesn’t really matter because the truth is, these two will always be together and defining their relationship over the last 25 years is the real X-File. As this series comes to a close, one thing is for sure, the love between these two is an eternal flame, tangible and burning as hot Scully’s prayer candle. However they define their relationship, Mulder and Scully are in this together, X-Files or not, forever.