This Is Us – Songbird Road: Part One

By: Maddie Ruby

The episode starts with a flashback of Jack (Milo Ventimiglia) receiving letters from Nicky (Michael Angarano) at work. He keeps them all, but doesn’t seem to reply to them. The kids are just kids at this point.

In the present Kevin (Justin Hartley) tells the big three and his mom about his discovery. He has an address and is ready to surprise visit his uncle. Kate (Chrissy Metz) claims to be too pregnant and Rebecca (Mandy Moore) doesn’t want to go, but Randall (Sterling K. Brown) is of course all in.

Thankfully, they convince Kate to come on the trip. It’s Big Three fun as they talk about how Randall probably passes out raisins for Halloween. Then, it’s twelve minutes in to the trip and Kate already has to pee. Oh boy.

The Big Three arrive at Nicky’s home…errr trailer. As Kevin is knocking, we flashback to Jack knocking at the same door years ago.  He drives all the way from good ole Pittsburgh to tell Nicky to stop sending postcards to his home address. He is THAT serious. Why doesn’t he want anyone to know he is alive?!?! After expressing how he wants to discontinue communication Jack tries to leave. Nicky offers him a beer, but Jack says that he doesn’t drink anymore. He finally comes in after the offer of some Nesquik.

We then turn back to the Big Three. No one is answering the door, present day, and Kevin is trying to “look and see if anyone even lives there a/k/a (break in).” Finally, Nick shows up behind them and says he lives there. We see a very old Nick and Kevin introduces himself as Jack Pearson’s son. He asks if Jack knows that they are there. Kate notes that he is dead with Nicky asking when he passed. Randall tells him that it was 1998.

As they get into Nicky’s trailer, they start asking questions. They also explain that Randall was adopted and that’s why he’s black. Nick quickly gets frustrated and tells them they should just leave as they have nothing to be found here. Kate snaps back. Nicky can tell they are Jack’s kids from their stubbornness. They just want to know why Jack lied to them and why they never knew he was alive.

Nick starts explaining Jack should never have come for him. Meaning in the war, I suppose. Then, the flashback starts. Nicky is laying down in Vietnam while he shows off to a little boy his chocolate bar. They joke around and then they go fishing together. Nicky speaks Vietnamese to him. While they are fishing, Nick throws out a grenade in the water causing the fish to die and float up. They go to another fishing location, but when Nicky goes to throw the grenade the little boy tries to play with it and Nicky accidentally detonates it. He screams for the little boy to jump off the boat, but the boy doesn’t understand this. Nicky makes it off. We then go back to the scene we saw before where Jack is notified a boat blew up and one of their men might be on it. He finds Nicky in the water. We see the mother of the boy screaming and no sign of the son. Nick appears to be traumatized and in shock. We see him as he leaves the war and goes to a shrink. Everyone thinks he meant for this boy to die basicall, because of his disassociation with the Vietnamese people and thinking they are all bad.

Nicky explains that is why Jack lied about the fact that he was alive. Nick tried and tried so many times to tell Jack that he didn’t mean for the boy to die, but Jack just wouldn’t let him speak about it or anything war related. Nick tells Jack’s children that, “Jack put the war behind him and never looked back.” After asking how Jack died, he decides it is enough for him and he wants the kids to leave.

We flashback to Jack coming home from visiting Nicky. He tells Rebecca he lied about where he went today and explains that he went to visit a friend from the war who did something bad, which is why they had a falling out. He doesn’t tell her it is his brother. Rebecca tries to suggest that he go talk to someone professional for his PTSD, but of course he cuts her off.

In the present, Rebecca tells Miguel (Jon Huertas) that the kids informed her that they found Nicky. Rebecca takes this on herself to feel bad, questioning if she did enough when it came to Jack and the war and finding out information. Miguel explains that he thinks Jack had a darkness, one he wanted to keep hidden because Rebecca was his light. Rebecca doesn’t buy this anymore. She’s heard it all before and now she just wants the truth.

The Big Three are driving back. Kevin realizes they can’t just leave their uncle like Jack did. THANK GOD. They turn around and go back to his trailer where they open the door to find that Nicky is sitting there with a gun…most likely about to take his own life. He is muttering how he never got to tell Jack the truth and that it was an accident. Poor Nicky. The episode ends as they comfort a deeply saddened and hurt Nick Pearson.