UnREAL – Ambush

By starrymag | July 19, 2016

By: Taylor Gates

 

The episode starts out with Coleman (Michael Rady) and Rachel (Shiri Appleby) in bed. The two share a moment when he asks her if she’ll accompany him to his cousin’s wedding, to which she agrees. The two are interrupted by Madison (Genevieve Buechner) saying that someone is there to see Rachel. That someone turns out to be Rachel’s ex and last year’s suitor, Adam (Freddie Stroma).

 

Rachel is salty that he’s here. She hasn’t been returning his calls, which she thought he would take the hint. Adam informs her that Quinn (Constance Zimmer) called him to redeem himself from last year’s mess. Rachel tells him to get lost, but Adam tries to win her back. It turns out he’s been doing charity work in Africa and wishing she was with him. Adam informs her his flight isn’t until Thursday and he doesn’t intend to leave early.

 

Coleman asks Rachel what the deal is with Adam. Rachel blames it on Stockholm Syndrome, telling him that he fell in love with her as she was producing him and she had tried to forget it ever happened. Coleman says Adam is gonezo; Quinn isn’t the showrunner anymore so she doesn’t get to make the decisions. This is their show now.

 

Quinn and John (Ioan Gruffudd) make out in the back of a car. Quinn tells him all about the little surprise she has planned for Coleman. John mentions that Coleman impressed him at the Impact Awards and Quinn takes this opportunity to try to get rid of him. She tells John he should definitely do something with him since he’s still just killing time on “Everlasting.” He is not; however, allowed to poach Rachel since Rachel is hers.

 

Quinn walks into the control room, immediately owning up to the fact that she brought Adam there. She informs Coleman that he should be thanking her, as his social media buzz is off the charts. Rachel argues that he was just a pussy who got left at the altar, but Quinn pointedly shoots back that he just unfortunately fell for a heartless bitch.

 

John walks in, agreeing with Quinn on the fact that every woman now wants to screw the sadness out of Adam. Quinn asks Rachel if there’s a reason she can’t work with Adam, but Rachel says it’s no problem at all. John corners Coleman, saying he wants to talk more since he was so impressive at the Impact Awards. However, it just has to be between the two of them, no Rachel involved.

 

Adam asks Quinn why she really brought him back here. She replies that she wants to give him the chance to make things right with whomever. She hands him a pair of tiny swim trunks and welcomes the meat puppet back. The entire control room swoons over Adam in his new uniform. Rachel and Coleman look understandably uncomfortable and unamused.

 

All of the girls are bickering about Darius in the hot tub, but Adam jumps to his defense, saying he is probably having a lot of strong feelings that are hard to sort out right now. He looks straight at the camera and says he regrets ruining his chance with the love of his life every day. Quinn tells Rachel she should screw the talent more often before ordering Darius (B.J. Britt) onto set. Hot Rachel (Monica Barbaro) starts inquiring about Adam’s time on “Everlasting” and his relationship with Rachel, but Adam doesn’t take the bait.

 

Coleman introduces himself to Adam and the two have a tension-filled conversation before Rachel breaks it up. She tells Coleman that Adam is just an entitled man-baby, but Coleman replies that she did have a relationship with him once upon a time. Coleman says that even if she doesn’t have feelings for Jeremy (Josh Kelly) and Adam anymore, they certainly still have feelings for her.

 

Rachel goes to talk to Adam, saying he needs to back off because she seriously doesn’t miss him. She says that what they did was a mistake and she never loved him. After the two make out for a hot second, Rachel tells Adam that she’s very happy and he needs to leave her alone.

 

Coleman walks into Quinn’s office where she is redressing. Naturally, she makes him zip up her dress. He confronts her about telling John to cut Rachel out of the deal with him and Quinn says she’s doing it to protect both John and himself. The thing that makes Rachel tick also makes bombs explode around her; she can’t function like the rest of them and Quinn is the only one that knows how to keep her in line. Coleman says the only thing wrong with Rachel is that she works for a manipulative bitch. Quinn shrugs, unbothered by his words; at least she’s effective.

 

All the girls have to pitch a date to Darius. Rachel and Jay (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) notice that Darius looks bored while they do this and Jay snips that it’s too bad Romeo (Gentry White) is gone since he could actually manage Darius. Adam advises Darius to pick Chantal (Meagan Tandy) and her fake gondola ride in “Venice” because picking a girl with a dead fiancée will help his image. Darius asks Adam why he’s back in the snake pit and he replies that it’s to get Rachel back. Although Rachel is initially not too impressed with Adam setting Darius up to pick Chantal, she eventually caves and tells him to meet her in her office in five minutes.

 

It turns out her office is being occupied by John having a meeting with Coleman, who apparently can’t stop talking about Rachel. When John leaves, Rachel gets a text from Adam saying he is on his way to the office. Rachel panics and throws Coleman on a table, starting to unzip his pants. Adam walks in, disgusted and annoyed. Coleman is frustrated that Rachel’s exes keep popping up, telling Rachel she needs to deal with it if she still wants what he envisions their future to be together.

 

Madison has bought a rowboat for $50 and wants to turn it into a gondola for the date. Romeo is also back, as Gary isn’t happy with the way things have been going recently. Darius and Chantal talk on the boat about their families. Chantal realizes they’ve been painting her as the girl with the dead fiancée, but she is so much more. She’s ready to move on and she’s going to prove it. She takes off the necklace containing the ashes of her dead fiancée and attempts to throw them into the lake. However, Jay orders the wind machine on so the ashes blow into Darius’ face. How romantic.

 

Adam has delayed going back to his hotel in order to talk to Rachel. He wants to know why she’s still at “Everlasting,” desperately banging her boss. He assures her that this show is a toxic wasteland ruining her life. Rachel shoots back that he just went to Africa for a photo op, but she’s actually helping the 16 million people who watch her show. She says she and Coleman are breaking down barriers about love and race. Adam says that Rachel is delusional because everything about this show is fake.

 

Quinn asks Rachel if it feels good to have Adam back fighting for her, but Rachel isn’t buying it. She asks why Quinn is here trying to ruin her life even though she now has a great guy. Quinn says she just wants to expose Coleman for who he really is, but Rachel is confident she knows the real him. Rachel tells Quinn to get over her, but Quinn refuses. John finds Quinn, and she tells him she would rather be anywhere but on set right now.

 

Darius tells Romeo he’s tired of feeling like a fool and going on all of these crazy dates. Tiffany (Kim Matula) and Hot Rachel are drunk and ask him why he didn’t pick them for the date. Darius tells both of them to hop in the car because they’re going to go out and have some fun.

 

Rachel tells Coleman that he was right about all of her baggage—it’s not cute and she does want to be with him. She wants to change and make groundbreaking television with him.

 

Madison frantically walkies Rachel and says Darius is taking the car. Rachel tells Coleman she wants to call the cops and report it as stolen. Coleman expresses concern since they are both black men, but Rachel says that’s all the more reason to do it. They set up some cameras and dial the police.

 

The cops pull Darius over, asking for registration and ID. Darius explains that he doesn’t have any since the producers took it for a reality show he is on. They ask Tiffany if she is okay since she is slurring her words and get angry when Romeo tells them she has just had too much to drink. They demand that the two step out of the vehicle, slam them both against the car and roughly handcuff them. Rachel wants to step in, but Coleman stops her, as this is good important TV. Rachel finally runs in, screaming at the cops not to hurt him, but one of the cops raises his gun at Rachel and then eventually turning around and shooting Romeo.

 

Chet’s phone calls keep interrupting Quinn and John’s romantic lawn-chair-and-robes date. John takes her phone and drops it in a container of water, to which Quinn reacts gleefully. John tells Quinn she’s the weirdest person he’s ever loved. He wants 2-4 children, possibly with her, as the two genuinely love spending time together.

 

Rachel keeps rewatching the shooting footage, blaming it on herself since she ran out. Coleman says it was the cops’ fault, not hers and leads her out to talk to the authorities. They also go to make sure Tiffany and Hot Rachel won’t say anything harmful about the situation.

 

Quinn’s phone still rings even while submersed in water. The network is calling now, which Quinn can’t ignore.

 

Jay is livid at Rachel, ranting that if Romeo dies that it’s all on her. Everyone would be better without her and her holier-than-thou attitude trying to tell stories that aren’t hers to tell. The girls bombard Rachel with questions and she shuts down, hiding in her trailer. Adam goes to visit Rachel, saying he is here for her and wants to help. Rachel tells him that he is too late and everything is a dark hole since he left her when they were in love. She cries, shrieking at him to leave her alone. He finally goes, sitting outside her trailer.

 

Coleman meets Quinn on the balcony, per her request. She chews him out for the shit show he managed to put on while she was away. Coleman argues that he got her the most important footage of this entire show. Quinn fires back that he put the suitor in a hospital and filled the mansion with police and lawyers. She tells him he’s done working there—the network made her the show runner again. She tells him to call Gary on his way home if he doesn’t believe her. Quinn and Coleman see Rachel walking out with her mother (Mimi Kuzyk), Quinn looking positively horrified.

 

Jeremy secretly picks Hot Rachel up from set. She says how scared she was when Romeo was shot in front of her. Jeremy says she doesn’t know the half of it and she begs him to tell her everything. He agrees and she turns on a voice recorder.

 

Rachel is officially at a psychiatric hospital, her mom coaxing her to take her medicine so she can get better. Her mom says she loves her as Rachel falls back onto the bed with a dead look in her eyes.