UnREAL – Insurgent

By starrymag | June 15, 2016

By: Taylor Gates

 

The episode starts off with Graham (Brennan Elliott) bitching at Quinn (Constance Zimmer) for blindsiding him with the girls being dressed in bikinis instead of ball gowns. Quinn tells him if he wants to complain, he should see Chet (Craig Bierko)—it was his asinine idea after he went all caveman-crazy. Graham is actually delighted with the fact that Chet wants to go in a new direction and he even offers to provide his singing talents for the revamped show. Quinn informs him that she can shoot ping pong balls out of her vagina, but nobody wants to see that either. She tells Graham to get lost before yelling for Rachel.

 

Rachel (Shiri Appleby) is taking her sweet time getting out of bed and moseying around her room. She sifts through a care package from her mother, a few bottles of prescription pills among its contents. She promptly disposes of them and reluctantly heads to set. Clearly annoyed, Rachel asks Quinn what she expects her to do considering Quinn has taken over her new job and she doesn’t have any girls to produce. Quinn tells her to grab the craziest contestant and work her magic, reassuring her again that she will hand the show back to her in due time.

 

Rachel decides to set her sights on Beth Ann (Lindsay Musil), attempting to persuade her to change out of her pink bikini and into her confederate flag one. Rachel pushes all the right buttons—saying that she’s not really a proud Southerner, that she’s only brave on the other side of the computer—and eventually Beth Ann agrees. Ruby (Denee Benton) walks by at the perfect moment and the two begin to argue. Rachel gets on her walkie and requests cameras, but none ever show. The argument ends with Beth Ann saying the suitor will be proud of her strong commitment to her heritage and Ruby informing her that the suitor is black, instantly shutting Beth Ann up.

 

Rachel pulls Ruby aside, telling her that information was confidential. Ruby asks why she would put garbage like Beth Ann on national television and Rachel says it’s so Ruby has something to push against to get her message across. She says she has to save it for the cameras if she wants anyone to see it, though.

 

Jay (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) joins Rachel after helping Tiffany with her nipple covers. Rachel harshly tells him to explain to Ruby how this show works, which causes Jay to accuse her of trying to out-Quinn Quinn again. Jay promises Ruby that she’s there for a bigger purpose than just fighting Beth Ann. Ruby reveals that Rachel told her the suitor specifically asked for her and she was guaranteed a spot in the final two. Jay says that was all a lie to get her to do the show and that she can’t trust Rachel because she’s just there to be the angry black bitch and will likely get eliminated in three episodes, tops. Defeated, Ruby wonders why she dropped out of college for this. Jay says that Ruby winning this show would be really revolutionary, promising to make it his mission to help her do so as long as she listens to him and not Rachel.

 

In the control room, Quinn bosses everyone around, much to Rachel’s dismay. Dr. Wagerstein (Amy Hill) says she knows about the care package Rachel got from her mom and warns her to be careful—Quinn taking the show back could be a real trigger.

 

By the pool, Beth Ann takes off her parka to reveal her confederate flag bikini. The girls are shocked and horrified, but Ruby smiles sweetly instead of blowing up, confusing and angering Quinn and Rachel. They go to the suitor’s entrance with Quinn barking order to the camera crew to get close-ups on wifeys Tiffany (Kim Matula), Chantal (Meagan Tandy) and Hot Rachel (Monica Barbaro). Darius (B.J. Britt) comes out and everyone looks thrilled except for Tiffany and Beth Ann. Beth Ann runs away in shame and Quinn commands Madison (Genevieve Buechner) to chase after her. A few of Darius’ friends also come to join the party, which sends Quinn over the edge.

 

Quinn goes to send them away, lecturing Chet about background checks, liabilities and the impossibility of editing around music on the way. Chet and Quinn continue ordering the camera crew to do different things, leading Chet to suggest they shoot two different versions and then turn them into the network and let them pick. Quinn accepts the challenge without hesitation, but Rachel says she doesn’t feel comfortable with the situation.

 

Rachel then tells Jeremy (Josh Kelly) to go do some one-on-one interviews with the girls at the gazebo, but Chet mocks him for always listening to girls, telling him to assert his manhood. He then holds the fact that he can help Jeremy become the director he’s always wanted to be over his head, which causes him to go with Chet. Quinn grabs Rachel and cameraman Barry (Darren Dolynski) to be on her team.

 

Rachel warns Quinn that this is a bad idea because it will seem like nobody is in charge. Quinn complains about Chet being on set as he never should have been allowed back after the finale last year, but Gary from the network is his buddy and will always take his side. Rachel suggests they call the network to explain, but Quinn dismisses her, saying this situation is too grown-up for her to understand.

 

Rachel goes to talk to Beth Ann, who has isolated herself in the bathroom. She begs Rachel to let her change clothes, as she and her family worship Darius. Rachel refuses, saying that Beth Ann actually has the golden opportunity to stand out and get Darius to know her name because of her bikini.

 

Jeremy and Romeo (Gentry White) talk about hooking up with Rachel and Jeremy informs Romeo of Rachel’s mental illness, which Rachel hears over the walkie-talkie. Beth Ann is up first to talk to Darius, immediately professing her adoration for him and apologizing for her attire. She says, although she’s proud of where she’s from, if what she’s wearing offends him there’s only one thing to do. She takes off her top and Darius admires the sight for a moment before taking off his own shirt and slipping it on her.

 

The other girls are horrified, Quinn is delighted and Chet is frustrated he wasn’t there to get it on camera in time. Quinn smirks, telling him if he wants his kingdom back, he’s going to have to get it from her.

 

Ruby tells Jay that she can’t refrain from speaking up anymore, criticizing Darius for acting like a sell-out and a pussy. Jay defends him, saying Darius is just here to repair his image and that by giving Beth Ann his shirt is the first step to doing that. Ruby isn’t having it, declaring that she refuses to stay quiet anymore—if she gets cut, at least she’ll leave with her dignity still intact.

 

Madison tells Rachel how important this job is to her, begging her to let her do more producing since taking down Chantal was comparable to an orgasm. Rachel relinquishes her producing task, telling Madison to knock herself out.

 

Chet spies Tiffany, Quinn’s golden girl, unattended. He tells Jeremy to get their conversation on camera, hoping to sabotage Quinn’s “vagina of a show.” Tiffany confides to Chet that she thinks her father got her on this show, hoping she’d talk to Darius about his football contract for him since he’s not allowed to directly speak to him as a team owner. She came on this show to get away from football and her father’s shadow and she’s frustrated that everyone keeps looking at her like just a nice potential football wife instead of seeing who she really is.

 

Hot Rachel corners Rachel, sweet-talking her so she’ll help her get Darius to notice her. Rachel directs her to Madison, saying she’s a genius that will help her win.

 

It’s Chantal’s turn to talk to Darius and she kindly requests that he put his shirt back on because she won’t be able to concentrate while it’s off. He leans in to kiss her, but she stops him, saying she never does that on a first date. Rachel is ecstatic, saying she’s found a black wifey. Ruby interrupts the two, wearing an “I Can’t Breath” Black Lives Matter shirt and wasting no time calling Darius out. Rachel is happy they’re finally going to televise something important and revolutionary, but Quinn is just happy that there’s finally some conflict.

 

On another monitor, they see Tiffany giving Romeo a blow job. Quinn is appalled, as Tiffany is her wifey. Rachel sprints in to the room, telling Tiffany to stay outside and not speak to Chet while chastising Romeo. She tells him he can’t tell Darius about hooking up with Tiffany, as Tiffany is just who they need to rehab Darius’ image—if a rich white girl forgives Darius, then all of America will, too.

 

Tiffany informs Rachel that she’s not just going to do whatever her dad wants. Rachel has no clue what Tiffany is talking about, promising she hasn’t spoken to her father. Tiffany is still annoyed, saying they spoiled her excitement about being on the show the minute they brought Darius out. She’s tired of being a football wife, just smiling and being arm candy. Rachel says if she doesn’t want people to judge her, she can’t judge Darius—who knows, maybe they could be soul mates?

 

 

Darius and Tiffany have their conversation, playfully arguing about Texas and barbecue. Darius then brings up Tiffany’s father, the owner of the team who is his biggest competition. Tiffany dodges his question, critiquing his footwork on the field. He teasingly tells her she’s eliminated, and Quinn sits back, satisfied. “Thank god I’m here,” she tells Rachel.

 

Rachel, irritated at Quinn, reminds her that she got all of these girls. Quinn throws the fact that she lost the suitor in her face again. She reminds Rachel who trained her and got her this job. Rachel snaps, telling Quinn that she needs to let her do the job she spent years preparing her for. Quinn hits Rachel where it hurts the most by bringing up her mother. She taunts her, saying maybe her mom was right all along—her episodes and periods of unstableness were fine before, but she can’t afford to have them when she’s the boss. She tells Rachel to get back out on the set and be useful before walking away, causing a tear to slide down Rachel’s cheek.

 

Jay spies Rachel slumped down in the rain and smoking a cigarette. He tells her she shouldn’t be here, but Rachel replies she has nowhere else to go. She accuses Jay of being ungrateful about the fact she tried to be subversive as the show runner and says he’s using Ruby to satisfy his own agenda. She implies he’s jealous of her because she got a promotion, but he shuts her down retorting he doesn’t think she even got one. As long as Quinn is here, she’s still the boss and she’s not leaving anytime soon so Rachel will have to pry “Everlasting” from her cold, dead hands.

 

Chet mocks Quinn, arrogant since he sabotaged her wifey. Quinn, confident as ever, says nothing Chet does will ever make it to air since the network and viewers want a fairytale. The only way to make that happen is to find someone worthy for Darius and Chet wouldn’t know someone worthy if they slapped him in the face. Chet says she should try being a worthy person before lecturing him about what one is. The two are interrupted though by Hot Rachel “falling” into a pool and having Darius jump in to save her. Quinn is ecstatic they got this footage, going off to find Rachel who has just taken the pills her mother sent out of the trash and slipped them in her purse.

 

Chet’s team gives Darius a cheat sheet to remember the names of the girls. Chet persuades him to let Beth Ann stay. Darius wants to keep Tiffany, but Chet says Tiffany might not be as awesome as Darius thinks, motioning to Romeo for explanation.

 

Madison is concerned about Hot Rachel falling into the pool, but Yael tells her not to worry because she knows how to swim. She just wanted Darius to notice her. Hot Rachel tells Madison she knows what it’s like to want to impress a boss and she’s going to help Madison do that if she gets her some alone time with Darius.

 

At elimination, Darius keeps producer-favorites Yael, Beth Ann and Ruby. He and Ruby share a moment, Darius saying he looks forward to learning more from her. Darius picks Tiffany last, much to Chet’s surprise and Quinn’s relief.

 

Rachel pays a little visit to Gary (Christopher Cousins), telling him all about Quinn and Chet’s issues as of late. She suggests that Gary send Quinn and Chet home for awhile, heavily hinting that he should put Rachel in charge of the whole thing because of her experience and level head.

 

Chet and Quinn both direct their editors to make vastly different promos. Quinn’s features a romantic look between Darius and Tiffany, while Chet’s is practically pornography. He’s even changed the title to “EverBLASTING.” Gary slams his hands on the desk in frustration after watching both trailers. He says that this whole situation has gone off the rails, nailing Quinn for not being mature enough to pick up the phone when she saw things were getting out of control. Gary announces that Coleman Wasserman (Michael Rady) of “Blink” fame will be taking over.

 

Coleman is very enthusiastic about his new position, saying that while he understands both Chet and Quinn’s visions, he’s leaning Chet’s way. Quinn storms out while the rest of the room empties close behind, leaving only Rachel and Coleman.

 

Rachel tells Coleman she saw the documentary about displaced Cambodian sex workers he did and Coleman admits he knows who she is, too. He admires her for going to the network about Quinn and Chet, although it was a ballsy move considering the history between her and Quinn. He says her plan didn’t quite work out how she expected; however, because instead of Gary making her the boss, she got yet another person put higher in the ranks than her. He leaves the room and Rachel slumps back in her chair, staring at the ceiling.