UnREAL – Treason

By starrymag | June 29, 2016

By: Taylor Gates

 

Rachel (Shiri Appleby) is yelling into a walkie-talkie when Jay (Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman) interrupts her, concerned about the girls’ awful powderpuff football uniforms…or lack thereof. They’re so short the game is going to look like a porn shoot. Plus, a reporter is coming to set that day. Rachel says she doesn’t give a shit at the moment and Jay insults her lack of feminism with “What would Hillary do?”

 

Rachel makes fun of Coleman (Michael Rady) for driving up in the fancy car that Gary gave him. Rachel is still scared that Quinn is going to beat the crap out of her, but Coleman tells her to relax. He goes inside to pull some clips for Entertainment Weekly, but not before exchanging a few flirtatious words with Rachel.

 

Madison (Genevieve Buechner) goes into Quinn’s (Constance Zimmer) office, bringing her Raisin Bran sans raisins and Lucky Charms sans charms and dropping the news that Quinn’s dad is dead. Quinn kicks her out before slumping onto the couch.

 

Rachel sees Chet (Craig Bierko) holding his baby and automatically assumes he kidnapped it, because that would be such a Chet thing to do. He says he just gave the nanny the day off and that the judge can’t take his DNA away from him. Rachel isn’t convinced what he did was legal, but doesn’t care enough to argue, commanding that he keep the baby away from the contestants.

 

Madison is pouring out bowls of cereal in frustration, sobbing to Rachel that she broke the news to Quinn that her dad was dead just when she was starting to like her. Rachel tells her not to worry—Quinn is never going to like Madison no matter what—before going to check on Quinn.

 

Rachel expresses her condolences, but Quinn isn’t having it, wasting no time confronting her about Gary. Rachel defends herself, saying she just wanted to go to someone objective and reasonable to help get the show back, but Quinn calls bullshit. She accuses her of stabbing her in the back for selfish reasons, hurting her further by calling her unstable, ungrateful, and unqualified. Rachel, determined to make the show without Quinn now, goes all Bruno Mars and is like, “don’t believe me? Just watch.”

 

Rachel lets the long-awaited messenger into Darius’ (BJ Britt) room, but it turns out he is actually a doctor there to examine Darius’ back. Rachel turns the camera in his room around, but Romeo (Gentry White) is still skeptical about her involvement, afraid the injury information will get leaked to the press.

 

The girls start arriving at the powderpuff game, less than thrilled to be there. Jay walkies Rachel in a panic, saying nobody is having fun. Rachel tells him to chill—Darius should be out there any minute. Rachel asks the doctor to just give Darius something for his pain, but the doctor refuses. Darius needs the pain to be able to tell when he’s really injured himself and it looks like the time has come for him to get surgery.

 

Darius refuses, as the surgery has an 18-month recovery time and there are no guarantees it will fix the problem, but Romeo pushes him to agree to it. The doctor warns that one wrong move could leave Darius paralyzed, saying if it was up to him, he’d be leaving on a gurney that very second. Rachel is pissed that they have been hiding this from her the whole time. Romeo says they already have enough footage to clean up Darius’ image, but Rachel disagrees. Romeo doesn’t listen, saying they’re leaving the mansion that night.

 

Rachel tells Jay she wants Tiffany (Kim Matula) off the field doing football commentary with Darius. Jay is hella suspicious, as they’re not capitalizing on the fact Darius is a pro football player at all.

 

Coleman confronts Rachel, knowing she’s keeping a secret about Darius from him. Rachel admits what’s going down and Coleman calls his sports medicine buddy to get a second opinion.

 

Hot Rachel (Monica Barbaro), Ruby (Denee Benton) and Tiffany keep throwing back cocktails to forget about the fact they’re practically prancing around naked on national TV. London (Sunita Prasad) is the only one not drinking, but that quickly changes once Madison tells her Darius intends to cut her unless she starts bringing it.

 

Chet barges into Quinn’s office, his son in tow. Quinn refuses to hold it, as it came out of his ex-wife’s vagina. She also vents her frustrations with Rachel by ranting about how kids grow up to be ungrateful even after you teach them everything. She suggests Chet smother his baby with a pillow, as it’s still young enough to claim SIDs. The only thing Quinn has to say about her father is that he was worthless and now he’s dead. Chet is mad that Quinn fought him so hard to get the show back, but is doing nothing to take it back from Rachel and Coleman.

 

Jay comes in and warns Quinn that Coleman and Rachel are actually super shady and plan not to have Darius play ball. Quinn goes to review monitor footage, automatically knowing that Darius is hurt. Her plan is to hurt him further, have him helicoptered to the hospital and record the girls crying and cat fighting over him. If the idea tanks, they’ll blame Coleman and go running back to her.

 

Graham (Brennan Elliot) announces the change of plans—instead of having Darius out on the field, he’ll be watching from the sidelines with Tiffany. Rachel assures Tiffany that Darius is going to see she’s the total package. Chet distracts the girls by wheeling his baby through the field. Rachel finally drags them away and Chet tells his son he’ll teach him about lesbians when he gets older.

 

Darius stutters when announcing the beginning of the game, beating himself up over his mistakes. Tiffany tells him she understands the pressure he’s under, as she was the same way the first 20 years of her life. She encourages him to let himself off the hook and not focus so much on trying to be perfect at everything.

 

Chet calls a timeout, huddling the girls up and telling them they’re changing the rules and objective of the game. Now the rules are that the first girl to bring Darius down to the ground wins a one-on-one date. Chet pulls an intoxicated London aside, telling her he’s going to help her out.

 

Romeo is angry Rachel blocked their tickets to LAX. Rachel assures him that she needs just six full episodes—three more weeks—to get all the footage of Darius she needs. She even tries to use her sex appeal, but Romeo is disgusted by her tactics.

 

Tiffany and Darius are having a good time when London, now completely wasted, drags him onto the field. The girls gather around to talk to him while London charges at him full force, knocking the wind out of him. Quinn, watching the monitor, smirks mischievously. Rachel and Coleman confront Quinn, telling her this is a serious situation she shouldn’t be messing with. Coleman tells Quinn this will all fall on her for not vetting him properly, but she calls his bluff. Quinn informs them that an ambulance will be arriving soon and his season is going to go up in smoke. Plus, he’s the showrunner now, so this is his mess.

 

Rachel goes to Darius’ room, telling him he needs to get an epidural if he doesn’t want Quinn sabotaging his entire life. Darius is unsure, as Romeo and his doctor are advising him against this. Darius is supporting a lot of people with his paycheck and he feels responsible for them. Rachel promises she can fix everything right now and won’t put him in a dangerous situation if he just trusts her. Darius reluctantly agrees.

 

Quinn preps the girls, who are standing outside the mansion. She tells them Darius’ situation is very serious and it’s all their fault. She tells them they need to start weeping; whoever cries the hardest gets to ride to the ER with Darius. Darius comes out, looking better than ever. He says it’s time to go on a one-on-one date with a lucky lady and London runs over to him before puking all over his shoes. Quinn commands the ambulance to turn their sirens on so they can use it to amp up the drama with London.

 

Romeo pulls Darius aside, confronting him about the epidural. Romeo say if he stays on this show, he’s killing himself. Darius fires him for not supporting his decision. Rachel promises Romeo she’ll talk to him, but Romeo is still livid.

 

Quinn bribes the ambulance driver to take London around the block and have her back in time for the elimination ceremony. Chet tells Quinn working together on this episode felt just like good old times. He professes his love for Quinn, asking for a second chance with her. He wants to give her everything she deserves. The cops come, arresting Chet for kidnapping and endangering his child.

 

At the elimination ceremony, Darius lets London go. London throws her mic down, angry at the fact Darius only sees her as a joke. Hot Rachel joins Jeremy (Josh Kelly) outside his trailer. They talk a bit about Rachel and the mutual hatred she has for both of them. Hot Rachel then says she wants to know Jeremy better, requesting a tour of the inside of his pants.

 

Rachel is sipping a beer in the control room when Quinn enters. Rachel wants to kiss and make up, but Quinn tells Rachel she’s dead to her, calling her literal garbage. Madison hands Quinn a phone, saying people need to know what she wants them to do with her father’s belongings. Quinn orders them to burn it all down.

 

Ruby joins Darius outside, promising there are no cameras trailing her since she’s not a wifey. Darius admits he let Romeo go and Ruby says she doesn’t like what this show is doing to everyone – especially her. It makes her care too much what people, particularly Darius, think of her.

 

Darius tells Ruby that she’s such a strong woman and confides in her that it feels good to finally be his own man making his own decision. The two share a kiss. Ruby is nervous this isn’t what Darius really wants, but he promises it’s exactly what he wants. Despite Ruby’s promises, Jay and his crew are taping the whole thing.

 

Rachel and Coleman share a beer on the hood of his car. They, too, start making out.