What We Do in the Shadows – Local News

By: Gladys Luna

The vampires are in ‘war mode’ and Guillermo says goodbye.

It’s a new day in Staten Island and our favorite vampire gang has a new trouble at hand as their entire street is dealing with a major water break – something that has brought the local news attention to their block. Reporter Joanna Roscoe (Jamie Linn Watson) has been broadcasting live for the past hour and now she standing next to none other than Nandor (Kayvan Novak), who has been following the entire situation closely. Everything seems to be working well until the vampire unintentionally reveals that he and his roommates have been living on that street for centuries now and had never seen anything like that before – something that makes the reporter say that they might have discovered the secret to eternal life. This sparks something in Nandor that makes him realize the huge mistake he has committed. The vampire flees the interview and runs back to the residence showing mere panic on his face. At the residence we can see The Guide (Kristen Schaal) and Dolly (Natasia Demetriou) singing happily with Laszlo (Matt Berry) at the piano. Meanwhile, Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) and Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) are sitting on the couch minding their own business when Nandor bursts in screaming in terror that he has just confessed to their immortality to the local news reporter and their audience, assuming that they all know their true vampiric identity. This confession makes everyone panic, putting them in motion to find a way to protect themselves from what is to come. The vampires have been exiled before but they are not willing to let that happen again. As the chaos takes over the place Laszlo tries to put a stop to all of this by saying that the only exit they have now is to kill Joanna Roscoe, but Nandor does not feel that could solve anything at all and screams for Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) to help them with the situation. However, the newly turned vampire is not there to assist them this time.

It seems when Guillermo decided to turn into a vampire he might not have considered that beside the obvious, a lot of other things would change forever and this is how he finds himself at his mother’s (Myrna Cabello) apartment door ready to face the imminent – saying goodbye to his family. The door opens and Guillermo’s cousin Miguel (Frankie Quinones) makes Guillermo realize he completely forgot his mother’s birthday which happens to be this same night. He has been so absorbed by the concern of hiding his new identity that he had left no space in his mind for anything else. The whole family is already there celebrating and looking happy that he had finally showed up. He asks for a moment to talk to speak with his mother when his attention is directed towards the TV where he sees Nandor trying desperately to hypnotize everyone so they can forget what they just saw. Guillermo tries to contact the vampires, but has no luck as everyone is in panic mode trying to protect the mansion and not paying attention to the phone. Each one of the vampires has managed to find their own way to protect themselves. For example, Colin Robinson is sealing the doors and windows, setting traps all over the house and hanging all sorts of knives from the ceiling. Nadja has decided to dye her hair blonde as a way to camouflage and, based on her previous experiences, she has prepared a “go bag” for everyone with all the necessary supplies to flee when needed. Laszlo has now quit on the idea of killing Joanna and moved to the possibility of just kidnapping her. The Guide is just wandering around not exactly knowing what to do. Nandor has now returned from the street announcing that he has hypnotized everyone who is watching the news but Nadja does not believe his plan has worked at all. The vampire is very angry and curses Guillermo for not being there to help. Laszlo gets him up to speed on his plan and Nandor seems to agree with it.

Back at his mother’s birthday Guillermo does not appear to be so present at the dinner given that his mind is distracted by the vampires and invested in the concern of not having been able to communicate with them. This does not go unnoticed by anyone, especially his cousin Miguel who starts to pick on him for working so much and being at his boss’ mercy. Guillermo takes the chance to tell them that he has been promoted and soon he won’t have to work that much making everyone happy by this news. Unfortunately, back in Staten Island things have gone from bad to worse faster than expected as he sees that The Guide is now on TV trying to make a truce with the people. When Guillermo finally manages to contact the vampires he asks for them to stay in the house and not to do anything until he gets there, but chaos is pretty much in full swing and no one listens to him. Guillermo overhears the plan they have to kidnap Joanna and he knows now more than ever that he needs to do something quickly. The Guide has now returned completely convinced that there’s no way make a truce with the people and suggests Nadja escape with her. Nadja reluctantly agrees to it and The Guide leaves to prepare her disguise.

The party is over and Guillermo finally has the chance to talk to his mother. He tells her that things will change soon and he might not be able to see her anymore but the woman’ sonly concern is that whatever the reason he is happy with it. She notices that he is not carrying the necklace with the cross she gave him so she gives him another one that used to belong to his grandmother Maite (Emma McCoslin). Unfortunately, as soon as she puts it on his neck his skin starts to burn and turn red quickly. Luckily, the woman is completely unaware to this. Guillermo leaves the apartment and waves his goodbye to his mother and cousin that are standing by the door. When gets into the elevator, he takes off the necklace and once inside lets his anger get the best of him by ripping off an armrail on the wall.

Back at the residence the vampires are getting ready for battle. Guillermo enters the place and tries to talk them out of their plans but they are so convinced of what they are about to do that they decide to ignore him once again. Plus, Nandor is still very mad at him for not being there before. While Joanna is broadcasting live again we see the vampires approaching on their vintage car from behind. They park it nearby and Laszlo and Nandor walk carefully towards Joanna attempting to catch her from behind and kidnap her. However, then they notice that their car is falling into a big hole in the street which was a result of the water break and run towards it. Colin Robinson sets the local news car on fire and then, to make matters worse, Nadja, The Guide, Laszlo and Nandor jump in the big hole and fly the car out, much to Joanna and all of her audience surprise. She makes sure that everything was caught on tape and leaves the place in a haste while the vampires follow her to the channel station.

Guillermo is watching all of this on the TV while eating his tamales but decides not to meddle. At the channel station Nandor put the anchors Lisa (Danielle Nottingham) and Ted (Logan Crawford) to sleep so he and Nadja could take control of the news. The pair take the prior anchors’ place and hypnotize the audience so they can forget what just happened and decide to continue with the regular rhythm of the news. Guillermo is very much surprised by the solution they came up with and thinks that, opposite to what he thought, they are actually handling it very well. It’s time for the weather report now and in charge is Colin Robinson who manages to deliver it perfectly while The Guide feeds from the prior meteorologist (Samantha Brown). Laszlo is in charge of sports, looking happy to be participating with them. The vampires manage to wrap the news in a wonderful and timely manner hoping for the best.

Back at the residence Guillermo walks towards his bed while recalling what it truly means to be a vampire, but is unaware that the hall leading to his “room” is filled with all sorts of traps that he dodges wonderfully on his way.