What We Do in the Shadows – The Roast

By: Gladys Luna

It is well known now that vampires are not an easy case to deal with. However, given all the recent extra madness the Staten Island residents have been facing, it seems that it has finally started to take its toll, at least in one of them.  In recent days Laszlo (Matt Berry) has not been the same. He has become a somber version of what he used to be, spending his days siting at the couch in the library staring into the nothingness. As it is expected, this hasn’t gone unnoticed by his roommates who have been losing their heads trying to figure out what is it that occupies their friend’s mind. Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), for example, believes that the hex that was cast on her has finally impacted their relationship and now she is desperately looking for a way to lift up his spirits. Nandor (Kayvan Novak) has been trying to lure him out by offering him activities, but nothing seems to work. As for Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), he just continues to be himself. And last but not least, there’s Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) who is convinced that Laszlo’s numerous unsuccessful attempts to help him to get it out of the vampiric limbo has broken something in him. So, as a way to find the best solution and help him, they call an impromptu meeting to brainstorm about all the possibilities they have to get Laszlo back. Unfortunately, it appears that they are all out of plan until The Guide (Kristen Schaal) suggests that maybe if they through a roast to Laszlo, which might cheer him up. Nobody seems to find this is a good option until Colin Robinson repeats her words and then everybody comes to the conclusion that this is by far the best choice. They plan to gather all the vampiric community including Baron Afanas (Doug Jones) and even their neighbor Sean (Anthony Atamanuik), who they promise to hypnotize (as usual) and make him forget he was even there to contribute to their friend’s roast.

Nandor takes the lead of the roast throwing in some introductory jokes for the guests, but nothing seems to cause any effect in his friend who remains stoic sitting next to his wife. After a few minutes Nadja decides to take the stand but with no results whatsoever. Next in line is Colin Robinson and the only thing he is able to accomplish is to bore the crowd nearly to sleep. Guillermo’s turn has arrived and as a way to announce him Nandor makes a joke that The Baron does not understand and as a way to help The Guide explains him that the joke was made on reference to that time when Guillermo accidentally opened the door and burned him to ashes. To make matters worse, she also slipped the extra information that the former familiar has Van Helsing blood running through his veins. These series of confessions do not seem to sit well on The Baron who wastes no time and interrupts Guillermo’s speech to take the stand himself. Apparently, the vampire is exhausted of hearing all the nonsense going on in the room and questions their reasons for putting on the circus, claiming that it goes against a vampire true identity. Although, despite all of that, what he is truly upset about is the secrets they have been keeping from him. He announces that they have been hiding a vampire killer under their roof that had also tried to kill him in the past. Hearing these words, Guillermo tries to escape but is stopped in his tracks by The Baron, demanding answers. Before Guillermo can say anything, The Baron starts chasing him through the whole residence followed by Nandor and Nadja asking him to be merciful with Guillermo. It seems that there is no escape for him since The Baron is now holding him in mid-air but the newly turned vampire manages to stab his arm with a stake, which allows him to run outside the house and hide behind a car that is later flipped by The Baron. Nadja and Nandor follow them outside and try to stop all the madness but at some point they deviate from the current situation when The Guide confesses that she was the one who revealed those secrets to The Baron and wants to apologize. Nandor and Nadja pay no attention to her, as usual. In fact, they are now caught up thinking of a way to save their friend while Guillermo climbs the walls running from his predator. Later on, Nadja catches The Baron in a sack, and he screams for Guillermo to help him. He is assured that if he helps The Baron that he will spare his life, but as soon as he opens the sack to help him Guillermo is electrocuted. Nadja, Colin Robinson and Nandor came up with a plan to fool The Baron into thinking that they’ve got Guillermo so he can kill him but what they want is to distract him, tie him up and bring him face to face with Guillermo in order to solve this situation for once and for all. Sadly, they almost accomplish it except that the vampire is still eager to kill him. Seeing that they are going nowhere, Nandor decides to take a break and get some blood for them. While he is away, Guillermo confesses to the other vampires that he is now a vampire too, something that changes the whole situation since The Baron believes that it is so brave of him to have betrayed his own kind and wants to congratulate Nandor for turning a Van Helsing to a vampire. The mood changes when the former familiar has to admit that it wasn’t his master that turned him. At this revelation, The Baron decides to keep himself out of the mess and decides to spare his life. Right at that moment Nandor returns with blood drinks for everyone, completely unaware to what just had happened. The group make a toast on both of the vampires’ names in honor of the truce they have come up with. Then, The Baron asks for a moment alone with Guillermo where he advises him to tell the truth to Nandor before someone else does. When he is about to leave, Guillermo opens the door believing it is still night out, but he soon he realizes that day is out already when the vampire burns to ashes again.

They wait for The Baron to awaken knowing that he will be ready to try to kill Guillermo again, but he is nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, Laszlo comes back from his daydream and tells the vampire that Guillermo is probably in the tool shed so that The Baron can go after him. Upon his return The Baron is holding a dead Guillermo in his arms and puts him on the floor in front of them. Nandor mourns but then Laszlo says that whatever it is lying there is not Guillermo. He cuts it open, and it is revealed that the creature was actually Pinky, one of the abominations that we saw in a prior episode. Laszlo explains that he was just part of an experiment he made. This situation makes The Baron change his mind and admit that he is tired of this cat and mouse game. He explains he is no longer interested in killing Guillermo anymore and then confesses that given the day they had, it has made him want to come clean. In fact, he goes on to confess that he is not happy living a simple life in the suburbs of New Jersey as it is lonely. To fix the situation, Laszlo lets The Baron take some of the frog abominations home with him as pets.

Later on, Nandor goes to his room still shaken from the recent events and wondering if he will be able to see his familiar again. When he opens his coffin, Guillermo comes out of it but the vampire does not believe he is the real version, so he asks some questions to prove it. When he is convinced, he lets him go. It seems things are back in order, at least for now. However, there’s still a big revelation to be said…Nadja goes to find Laszlo who seems to be back into his prior state and begs him to tell her how to help him. He explains he is once again back to reality as he has been like this all along because he was just trying to determine the best way to organize his books and needed some space to think about it. Hence, he was never broken or anything like that. After that revelation, Nadja could not be happier to have her husband back.