Wynonna Earp – Gonna Getcha Good

By: Michelle Lopez

We open on Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) performing an insanely sexy cheerleading routine for Nicole (Katherine Barrell). Afterward, Waverly bashfully asks if that was okay. Of course, it was — Nicole loved it and she’s sure everyone at the Homecoming game will love it…not realizing that was a special one-time, for-her-eyes-only performance. To tempt Nicole to skip work, Waverly tries another cheer which ends in a high kick the exact moment Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) walks in. Unfortunately for Wynonna, her baby sister’s going commando so she ends up seeing more than she ever wanted to. Nicole leaves Waverly to deal with her sister. Wynonna can’t get the images of the Hellmouth sacrifice out of her head and stress-cleans Peacemaker. Waverly notices Peacemaker’s new look and “Goovery” wants to abscond with it.

At the high school, a guy paces in front of the trophy case, scolding himself for doing something to win a trophy. Through the case, a demon that looks like Scarecrow from Batman Begins demands his payment of the guy’s self-harvested liver.

Purgatory PD is called in when the body’s discovered. Nicole offers to check his ID, but Nedley (Greg Lawson) already knows him — Bryce Cooper, a member of Purgatory High’s only winning hockey team. She’s ready to do some investigating, but he wants to toss the case over to Black Badge (BB). Nicole’s pissed, but does as she’s told and Wynonna takes pictures of the crime scene while munching on a donut.

At Shorty’s, Rosita (Tamara Duarte) is busy restocking the bar while giving Doc (Tim Rozon) an update on their project. She’s stuck because they need something pure. Doc goes to fetch more tequila when Wynonna walks in searching for him, but only finds Rosita. Mercedes (Dani Kind) takes a break from slamming shots to call Wynonna over. Mercedes has noticed Wynonna’s broken heart and has taken it upon herself to get Wynonna back in the game. She calls over Perry (Patrick Kwok-Choon), another guy from the victorious hockey team, and tries to set them up. Perry brings up Wynonna’s troubled past, which takes the wind out of Wynonna’s sails. She dips out to talk to Doc, leaving Mercedes to deal with Perry. Mercedes mentions Wynonna being a “special detective,” which piques Perry’s interest. Wynonna updates Doc on their latest case and reminds him that she needs his undivided attention with BB despite his attractive new mixologist. Doc assures her that she needn’t worry. Wynonna leaves to check in with Jeremy (Varun Saranga).

Jeremy hasn’t gotten far with decrypting the seal, but he’s sure there is no connection to their current case since the guy harvested his own liver. He asks if Dolls has reached out to Wynonna, but snitches get stitches so Wynonna’s not telling. Wynonna gets a call from Perry, who asks her out while he bleeds a skinned rabbit.

At the Homestead, Waverly walks in on Wynonna raiding her lipstick collection. Waverly’s excited that her sis has an actual date, but Wynonna insists it’s part of her investigation. Perry arrives so Wynonna heads out, leaving Gooverly to snack on some lipstick.

At Purgatory High, Mercedes gives a halfhearted salty Homecoming speech about rebuilding the town since her parents left most of their fortune to Purgatory. Wynonna and Perry wander off, talking about how ridiculous it is for the town to still celebrate a ten-year-old championship. They’re interrupted when Skip runs up screaming about them being too late and B-Train (liver guy) dying. Perry’s not happy with how much Skip is spilling so he decides to drive him home. Wynonna follows them and runs into Waverly, who can’t help Wynonna because she’s spending her afternoon waiting for Nicole to get off work. Wynonna’s concerned that Waverly’s falling into an old pattern of putting whoever she’s dating ahead of herself. Waverly’s not in the business of taking relationship advice from her sister who dates “psychos” so she tosses Wynonna her car keys and storms into the school.

In the school, Waverly sees the shiny trophy and Gooverly takes over, attacking Nicole with kisses. She’d normally love it, but she’s on duty and snogging her girlfriend isn’t professional. After scolding Waverly, Nicole notices a creepy kid, Tucker (Caleb Ellsworth-Clark), taking upskirts of some of the cheerleaders. She confronts him and when he refuses to hand over his phone. Nicole arrests him.

Wynonna arrives at Skip’s house and finds him in a crumpled heap on the porch, about to tear something out of his body. He’s got a wonky symbol drawn on his forehead in blood that Perry drew before skedaddling. Scarecrow shows up as Skip begins to tear out an organ so Wynonna distracts Scarecrow long enough for Skip to flee.

At the station, Tucker’s sister Beth (Meghan Heffern) is picking up her creeper brother. Nicole is outraged that Nedley won’t press charges against the walking embodiment of white male privilege. Nedley warns Nicole to keep it check since she’s already not looking great due to her displaced “gal-pal-itis” earlier. Nedley tells Nicole that “boys will be boys” to justify not charging Tucker. She’s is floored and wonders out loud if she somehow transported to “patriarchal bullshit land.” Nedley knows she’s right, but at the same time she doesn’t understand how Purgatory works. He assigns her desk duty to keep her from causing trouble.

Nicole storms into the break room and finds Wynonna trying (and failing) to use a Keurig. She stopped by the station on Waverly’s behalf to pick up some books. Nicole figures it’s because Waverly’s avoiding her and takes this opportunity to bring up Waverly’s odd behavior. Wynonna thinks that Nicole is trying to change Waverly to fit the mold of what she wants. Nicole tries to clarify, but Wynonna’s not listening.

Back at home, Wynonna, Waverly and Doc try and figure out what Perry’s deal is. Is he the one who opened the Hellmouth? Did he summon Scarecrow? None of it makes sense and Wynonna’s at the end of her rope without Dolls (Shamier Anderson) around to help her. Someone knocks on the door so Waverly grabs her shotgun while Doc wanders around back. Wynonna opens the door and finds Perry, who’s heard their entire conversation about demons. Doc knocks him out from behind and Waverly mentions that the symbol Perry drew is one of protection. They tie Perry up, wake him with vapors and demand the truth. Ten years ago the hockey coach gave Perry and his teammates a spell that summoned the demon and granted ten years of good luck. Their ten years are up and the demon is seeking payment in the form of organs. Perry’s been researching ways to stop the demon, but so far nothing has worked. Waverly figures it’s a Marzaniok and they split up to grab the few remaining cursed guys to use as bait to kill the demon. Doc pulls Wynonna aside and suggests they not kill it since he needs some pure demon blood to whip up a batch of Dolls’ serum.

Doc and Perry take a stroll down Main Street, taking stock of where Perry’s friends are. Both have gone dark so Perry has no clue where they are. They round the corner and discover Nedley standing over a body. Unfortunately, Scarecrow got to one of them (and his eyeballs).

Waverly is cheerfully strolling down the street because she found where Skip is when Tucker stops her to say hi. He asks her to have her “cop friend” lay off him for being a giant perv. Waverly clarifies that Nicole is her girlfriend and Tucker’s close-minded white male privilege kicks into high gear. He tells her that she’s confused and her dating Nicole is wrong. Thankfully, Gooverly makes an appearance. She picks Tucker up by the neck, scares him and grabs his medical alert bracelet. Waverly’s phone rings, snapping her out of her trance and she updates Doc on Skip’s location.

Wynonna stops by the school to grab the trophy so they can put the evil genie back in his “bottle.” The current jocks try to stop her by threatening her and calling her old. So, Wynonna beats the crap out of them while Mercedes swoons over Wynonna’s badassery. Cut to Wynonna slow-motion strutting out of the school, trophy in hand, and middle finger in the air. Doc and Perry pull up to let her know that they’ve found Skip.

It turns out Nicole’s got him locked up for a DUI. Skip pleads with her to let him out because he’s afraid the demon will go after his wife, but Nicole’s doesn’t believe him…until the demon shows up. Nicole’s not about to back down from a demon, but this one’s got her outclassed. It tosses her across the room like a rag doll and makes his way toward Skip. Luckily, Wynonna, Doc and Perry show up with the trophy before Nicole can get seriously injured. Perry runs ahead, locks himself inside the room with the demon and tries a spell to free them, but it fails. Wynonna breaks in and holds the demon at trophy-point. The demon offers Wynonna what she most desires if she lets him go, but Wynonna’s got to save Dolls so she wishes the demon back in his “bottle.” Wynonna chides Perry for being stupidly brave in trying that spell. They kiss, but Wynonna’s not into it since she’s a bit too damaged for a guy like Perry.

Nedley walks in on Nicole cleaning up the mess her fight with the demon created. He finally offers her the answer to how Purgatory works — denial. Everyone pretends there aren’t demons running amuck. Yeah, BB plays an important role but so does the police department. Somebody needs to be looking out for the citizens of Purgatory. Nedley brought Nicole on because she’s the perfect candidate to replace him as sheriff when he retires and he needs Nicole to understand the importance of the position. He tosses her the file he’s been putting together on Tucker. Sometimes you’ve got to play the long game.

At the Gardner house, Mercedes puts her siblings in their place. She witnessed Wynonna take out her personal demons, and Mercedes is going to do the same. She tells Tucker to shut up about “WayHaught” and tells Beth to stop cosplaying “Little House on the Prairie.” Both siblings storm off in their own dramatic fashion, leaving Mercedes to revel in the awesomeness of her inner-Wynonna. Her celebration is short-lived when the two ladies in black show up and grab her by the mouth.

At Shorty’s, Wynonna applauds Nicole’s bravery while Waverly translates an incantation that will allow them to draw blood from the demon. Waverly’s aware of her amazing girlfriend so Wynonna takes a minute to remind Waverly that she’s the best and Nicole needs to remember that. Waverly is all for reminding Nicole that all night long, but first she wants her lipstick back. Wynonna gave it back before leaving and Waverly doesn’t remember snacking on it. Wynonna leaves to store the trophy and Waverly steals a drink shaker from the bar.

In the basement, Doc annoys Rosita with questions about when she’ll be done despite not giving her the demon blood she needs. He tells her he doesn’t trust her to not make a wish with the demon, but Rosita’s no dummy. She storms out and Wynonna walks in. She’s got the trophy and a bunch of questions. Why didn’t Doc tell her what he’s been up to? Naturally, Dolls told the one person that is expendable to him. Wynonna doesn’t get why Doc would help Dolls, but Doc’s not doing it for Dolls — he’s doing it to win over the woman he loves. Doc was supposed to make the drop with Dolls two days ago and Wynonna wonders if he’ll come to them. Doc hopes not because that would be idiotic. Cut to Dolls crawling through the barn while Gooverly fawns over her collection of metal trinkets. She steps over him as if he wasn’t there and when he calls to her, he’s met with Gooverly’s dark eyes.