Wynonna Earp – If We Make It Through December

By starrymag | August 30, 2018

By: Maggie Stankiewicz

 

 

The Earp women paint themselves a portrait of a festive, functional family. Wynonna (Melanie Scrofano) skids around the homestead in an adorable onesie, Michelle (Megan Follows) primps the tree and Waverly (Dominique Provost-Chalkley) encourages her girlfriend to wear the Sheriff’s Office sanctioned elf costume. Nicole (Katherine Barrell) pouts her way through the joyous fashion show, ears perked and ready for duty. Sexy duty. Doc (Tim Rozon) digs his own grave just a few feet deeper when he calls Michelle’s decorating abilities into question but leaves before she has the chance to deck the halls with his proverbial guts.

 

The family breaks off and does their own things for a while: Waverly does Nicole, Wynonna replaces Mama Earp’s tree-topper with Waverly famous (super-absorbent!) Menstruangel. Michelle pleas with Wynonna to keep the traditional topper on the tree and Wynonna concedes, only to be told by her own mother that she needs a man to make her sing “Fa la la la la, la la la la.” While she steeps in her unsexed pity she (and viewers) is gifted by the angel’s song created by “Wayhaught “sexytime.

 

Santa Nedley (Greg Lawson) dutifully lends his ear to hopeful children and teenagers when a couple of young wise guys are enticed into the man-made forest of Christmas trees up for sale. They call out to the “Santa” that they see and disappear into the rustic aisles. Nedley senses that something just isn’t quite right and follows the boys into the thicket. Screams echo through the air, but Nedley’s too late. Bulshar (Jean Marchand) has claimed an innocent (albeit smart-mouthed) child. Nicole leaves to report for her actual, professional duty thus leaving Wynonna and Waverly with some time to catch up with one another. They haven’t been able to spend one-on-one time with one another since the Jolene situation and it feels nice to experience brief reprieve.

 

Wynonna breaks the bad news about the Menstruangel to her sister, but that’s not the hottest of the news. Wynonna tells Waverly that her father was an angel, a piece of intelligence that sends Waverly downstairs in a mania. Michelle wasn’t ready for the news to break so she takes her aggression out on the wild turkey that she slaughtered especially for Christmas dinner. Wynonna prompts her mother to tell Waverly the full truth. In a brief flashback, we see Michelle in love with a tall, sober angel who left without a goodbye. Waverly was his parting gift to her. In the process of this revelation, Wynonna mentions Bobo’s presence in the well. Mama Earp is startled by this and says that Bobo (Michael Eklund) was present the night of Waverly’s birth.

 

After Wynonna leaves to respond to a supernatural emergency call, Mama Earp defies the rules of time and space by cracking a vegan-lesbian joke. Michelle’s understanding of queer-culture, even after two-decades behind bars, is the real Christmas miracle. Thankfully, the Earp’s gang is full of open-minded and loving people like Doc – who uses his free time to encourage Jeremy (Varun Saranga) not to give up on finding the right man. Back at the police station, Jeremy is feeling down about Robin’s supposed “ghosting” of him. Doc tells Jeremy that he needs to loosen up, but it’s tough when your only prospect vanishes into thin-air. Despite feeling down and out, Jeremy takes Doc’s advice and decides to “be direct” with Robin. He calls the man, but only reaches voicemail. Robin (Justin Kelly) is tied up doing other things in Bulshar’s toyshop from hell. Literally tied up.

 

Bulshar processes the children and young adult’s that he’s collected by cross-referencing their last names with the town of Purgatory’s original, or at least established, families. Those who make “the naughty list” like Robin are tossed into cages. Later on, he forces his captives to watch as he shoves his walnuts from hell down a screaming man’s throat – telling them to watch on the same way their ancestor’s watch him fall to his temporary demise. Bulshar then shoves Satan’s beer-bong down the man’s throat and pours neon-green liquid inside. Robin’s next. They strap him in and get started.

 

Randy Nedley is tired from his Santa shift. He’s also traumatized and unable to handle Wynonna’s tactless jokes about kidnapped. Nicole pulls Wynonna away from him before she can inflict any more emotional damage onto the already beaten and battered man. Nicole sends Wynonna to the back of the lot to meet up with Charlie (Sebastian Pigott), the fireman. Charlie is like candy to the heir, a man of service and receptive to her snark. This will not end well for one or both of them. Wynonna assesses the situation and declares it a cover up. The scene was staged to look like a murder when it was only an abduction. They collect a sample of the blood for Jeremy to test.

 

Wynonna calls Waverly from the station to ask her about the last name of the missing kid. Sure enough, his family has been in Purgatory for a long time. But not as long as Bobo, who Waverly is visiting like a sneaky, sneaky squirrel. Wynonna asks to speak with Kate about Bulshar’s affinity for Purgatory-originals. While Waverly runs off on a super-secret mission, Jeremy realizes that Robin was most likely kidnapped as well. However, at the well where Bobo is imprisoned Waverly probes him for answers. Bobo was present at Waverly’s birth and the moment Michelle said her name Bobo knew that he needed to protect her. He tells Waverly that he knew she was different, so he took Waverly to Ward. Ward Earp was a nasty man, but Bobo was nastier. Bobo took control of Peacemaker and threatened the heir with his own gun – telling him that if he hurt Waverly he’d kill him. Waverly notices Bobo’s biased storytelling, but he doesn’t give her any additional information beyond the teeny-tiny tidbit that Julian might still be in the Ghost River Triangle.

 

Doc and Wynonna make their way to the Gardner house for a frank discussion with vampire Kate (Chantel Riley). Kate is relatively forthcoming and tells Wynonna that Bulshar had instructed the vampire coven to separate descendants of the original families from the newcomers. Wynonna is cautious of Kate, but Doc declares Kate a victim. Kate rejects this label and tells him that she’s always been a vampire; he simply never listened to her. Doc is startled and then break off into a mini-marriage counseling session right before Wynonna’s eyes. Jealous and a little grossed out, Wynonna leaves, dismissing Kate’s offer to join the gang. Doc chases after Wynonna and she tells him that she’s not okay with being the other woman. He attempts to reconcile with her and she kisses him beneath the mistletoe. It’s the best she can do right now as she can’t admit that she loves him. Not right now, not after the other man she loved was just laid to rest.

 

Nedley and Nicole are locked in his office. Nedley’s still tired, still broken. Nicole tries her best to lift his spirits, to get him back on patrol, but he’s just…done. Nedley is too tired to keep fighting. Purgatory has taken the light from his eyes and any semblance of normalcy from his life. Nicole reminds him that as the Sheriff he has to keep fighting – if not for himself, then for the town of Purgatory. He can’t do it, so he sends Nicole back out to resume the search for Tim, the missing boy from the tree lot. The search is temporary, and she regroups with the gang to discuss what they’ve learned about Bulshar, Robin and the blood found at the scene of the crime. The blood – pig’s blood. The slaughterhouse – there’s three options and they decide to divide and conquer.

 

Charlie meets Wynonna at the first suspected location. After he passes the Peacemaker test she allows him to help her clear out the facility. They enter and sure enough it’s Bulshar’s lair. With just an axe and a gun, they put down Bulshar’s minions and survey the damage. There’s a handful of prisoners lucid in their cages and one Robin strapped to a chair with green-juice all over his chin. They liberate the prisoners and return them to their families back at the Sheriff’s Station. Wynonna uses her highly inappropriate sense of humor to seduce Charlie while Robin and Jeremy share a reunion hug and then a much-awaited kiss.

 

The day is saved, and the families of Purgatory are reunited until the next supernatural interference, but Nedley is still not feeling like himself. There’s no Jolene to blame, only the hard truth that sometimes enough is enough. Nicole enters his office to receive his praise on her adept elf-dom before he criticizes his performance as Purgatory Sheriff. He says that it won’t happen again and throws the Santa hat to Nicole. Her excitement at being cast to play Santa is nothing short of adorable. Nedley is retiring and giving both his Santa hat and his title to Nicole.

 

Christmas can finally be celebrated as it should be – with family. Mama Earp brings a mound of cranberry sauce to the table. Jeremy, Doc, Nicole, Waverly and Wynonna are her captive audience. The tension between Doc and Wynonna is palpable, so Wayhaught attempt to diffuse the situation. Nicole makes a toast to fallen comrades, Doc makes one to the brave and Waverly makes one to Sheriff Nicole Haught. Jeremy makes a toast to not getting ghosted, and Wynonna generously toasts Jeremy’s perpetually underrated handsomeness. Doc abruptly excuses himself from the table, but Wynonna makes no effort to chase him down. In typical Wynonna Earp fashion, even an endearing dinner scene is full of mystery and intrigue.

 

Waverly mentions her regret at not making Bobo tell her more information about Julian. Michelle shuts this idea down, telling Waverly that it’s best to leave Bobo alone – and to instead focus on their family. To be expected, Michelle’s first Christmas out of prison is an emotional one and she tells her girls just how proud she is of the family they created in her absence. When the Christmas spirit finally captures her in full-force, Michelle runs to the tree and puts the Menstruangel back on top of the tree. When dinner resumes, Mama Earp does the dishes and once again tells Wynonna to go after her man. Wynonna flips the conversation around on her mother and offers to find Julian. Neither of the women are willing to accept the love they don’t feel worthy of receiving.

 

Speaking of love…Nicole and Waverly are definitely in it. The youngest Earp surprises her girlfriend in a sexy-Santa outfit for an intimate show. Waverly timidly sings and performs a dance for Nicole, self-conscious and unsure of herself. Better than just a physical love scene, the two women express their love through dance, deepening dimples and laughter. It is a great reminder not only of Waverly’s journey as a woman, but of the strength of their relationship and their level of comfort with each other.

 

Wynonna partially follows her advice and goes to Charlie, who is a man, but not necessarily her man…yet. It doesn’t take long though; her candor and no-strings attitude are enough to pull him in – the two hooking up in his truck. With her daughters distracted, Michelle pays a visit to Bobo and offers to free him from the well in exchange for information on Julian’s whereabouts. She drops a rope down to the demon and he begins to climb.

 

Doc pays a visit to Kate, who tells him that Bulshar’s minions attacked her to collect fealty. He takes her hand, a gesture of comfort – and promises her that he will protect her from Bulshar. Kate tells Doc just what he’s been craving, that she needs him, and he promises that he’ll do anything to help her. But there’s a cost to being a savior. The cost is his humanity and while he knows that this is exactly what she’s always wanted, he gives it to her. Kate leans in, bites his nec, and tarnishes what’s left of his soul. Doc Holliday, vampire.