Abbott Elementary – Candy Zombies

By starrymag | November 1, 2022

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

 

 

It’s a dark and stormy day and it’s the most wonderful time of the year at Abbott Elementary: Halloween. School hasn’t quite started yet and Jacob (Chris Perfetti) and Mr. Johnson (William Stanford Davis) are there in their costumes. Mr. Johnson has phoned it in as Vision from The Avengers by placing a lone skittle in the middle of his forehead. Mr. Johnson tells Jacob to clean up after himself or else the ghost of the previous janitor who haunts the school and hated inconsiderate people who didn’t clean up their trash will get him.

 

Gregory (Tyler James Williams) comes in dressed as a pilot. At first you’d guess that Jacob is The Hamburglar (90s baby reference), but no…he’s wage theft. Surprisingly, Mr. Johnson got what Jacob was going for without a problem. They’re both stumped by Gregory’s costume though, if you’re curious he’s not just any pilot. He’s Sully Sullenburger the pilot who landed a plan on the Hudson River circa 2009. Somehow he’s managed to out obscure reference Jacob.

 

Later people continue not to get Greogry’s costume. But Janine (Quinta Brunson), who is dressed as James Harden the basketball player, totally got the wage theft thing. Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) is a bee, Ava (Janelle James) is Storm from X-Men, and Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) is Wanda Maximoff. And, interestingly enough, so is her flighty teacher’s aid Ashley (Keyla Monterroso Mejia). Ashley wants to play mirrors with Melissa and totally thinks she’s wearing the costume better. Melissa heads her off by sending her the library to watch the candy the teachers pass out to the kids at the end of the day.

 

Moving forward, it’s drop off time. A woman named Amber (Naté Jones) shows up with her child and says she is dressed as “a bad bitch.” Janine is greeted by her old friend from high school Erika (Courtney Taylor). Erika is there in aunt capacity and she’s going to be handling drop for her sister for about a week. Her nephew is dressed as Baby Thanos (Masen Pinnock). Erika gives Janine condolences on her dead relationship with Tyriq, who made a memorial page for them having dated (even though Janine asked him not to). Then, Erika invites Janine to a party, but Janine declines the invitation.

 

Janine tells the cameras that she liked Erika as she was always nice. But it’s been awhile and she won’t know anyone at the party and she’s realized that most of her friends were Tyriq’s friends first. So, in lieu of awkwardness she’s going to make sure teenagers don’t egg her house tonight. Then, there’s some kerfuffle as Amber prematurely passed out the candy bags that she and her daughters brought. She didn’t know about the “no candy utnil the end of the day rule,” but she agrees to take the candy back. Unfortunately, Baby Thanos isn’t taking that well. He says it’s Halloween they should have as much candy as they want whenever they want it. Aunt Erika says the boy loves his candy. Amber also has a special bag of candy she’d like Janine to deliver to Gregory.

 

All the little ones look adorable and one in particular has decides to be a mini Mr. Johnson (Marvin Winans III). However the real Mr. Johnson isn’t flattered and tells the little boy that he’ll be hearing from his lawyer. Apparently, Mr. Johnson didn’t authorize the use of his likeness. Who knew? In the library Janine hands Ashley more candy for the stash. Janine bumps into Gregory and delivers Amber’s candy.  Of course, Gregory “hates candy” and tells Janine she can have it. She goes for the candy and finds a note with Amber’s phone number on it and gets visibly uncomfortable. Nearby Baby Thanos is plotting to steal the candy.

 

The thunder claps outside and Melissa notices her students are a little more rowdy than usual. It seems to be going around. The principal’s office is filled with kids who can’t be calmed. The kindergarteners barely slept through nap time. Mr. Johnson follows a trail of candy wrappers to the library and he notices what Ashley hasn’t: all the candy’s gone.

 

Deeper into the hallway there are more out of control kids. Mr. Johnson tells the teachers that Ashley was so wrapped up in her phone she never actually guarded the candy. Ashley says that she’s a victim too and the only person at fault is the thief. Speaking of that, Gregory points out that they’ve got two halloween’s worth of candy. Barbara points out they can’t teach them when they’re this sugar high so Ava sends them all to the gym for a free recess.

 

The teachers search the kids for contraband candy and Ashley decides to call it a day. Apparently, chaos messes with her mood. Then, as Melissa, Jacob and Barbara find a new place to stash the candy Janine and Gregory are left alone. Janine passes along the phone number and asks if he’s been out much since calling it quits with Taylor. Gregory says his friends have been taking him out a lot. Janine unfortunately cannot say the same. Also, Gregory really wants people to give Sully Sullenberger his flowers.

 

When the rest of the teachers return they realize they’ve got a new problem: the kids have locked themselves in the gym. There’s some scrambling and then Jacob climbs in through a window. He gets halfway to the door and then he gets pelted by a bunch of dodgeballs. Somehow he manages to unlock the door and the rest of the teachers tell the kids to knock it off. Once the one-sided dodgeball game has been stopped, they get an announcement from Baby Thanos who has taken over Ava’s office. He says it’s Halloween and kids deserve candy. Additionally, he’s only passed out half the candy and there’s more to come. The teachers decide to divide and conquer. Ava is going to use dodgeball to subdue the kids and everyone else is gonna find Baby Thanos. Briefly they ask themselves, “What kind of kid shares candy?”

 

When Gregory, Janine, Jacob, Barbara and Melissa get to the office Baby Thanos is long gone. But he left a trail of candy wrappers which leads them to the basement. Jacob is worried about the ghost janitor, but doesn’t want his co-workers to know he’s a little afraid. He and Gregory end up searching the basement together. Janine walks with Melissa and Barbara where she learns about their Halloween plans. Melissa is consoling the vending machine man and Barbara is going to a viewing of a sanitized version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It takes out all the raunchy parts, so it’ll probably be thirty minutes long. Janine asks if she could come with her but they’re all sold out. Melissa and Barbara say she should go out with her own friends. Janine admits that she’s been lacking in the friend department post-breakup. They tell her that she’s young and that she has plenty of chances to make new friends and she should take advantage of them.

 

Jacob and Gregory are in the basement and Jacob is afraid of his own shadow. The thunder hasn’t eased up and there are noises and he’s jumping out of his skin. He sees Mr. Johnson’s shadowy figure and makes a run for it believing it was a ghost. Mr. Johnson could’ve said it was him, but he found out how scared Jacob was of the ghost hilarious.

 

The mini Mr. Johnson finds Baby Thanos in a closet. He takes away the ring pop which is symbolizing an infinity stone and tells him it’s time to stop the madness. It’s chaos out there and he’s making his job hard. Talking about committing to your costume! Back in the gym most of the kids have sugar crashed and Ava has played a hard game of dodgeball. Then, Mini Mr. Johnson walks Baby Thanos into the gym who is ready to surrender. And the real Mr. Johnson wants to sue. If you’re not tired of The Avengers references yet, on his way out Baby Thanos rips the candy off of Mr. Johnson’s head.

 

Thankfully, it’s the end of the day which makes the consequences of the candy heist the parents’ problems. And Janine made the decision that Halloween is about facing your fears so she’s going to try to put herself out there and make some new friends. When Erika comes to pick up Baby Thanos we learn that Janine decided to go to the party after all, but Erika says she needs a sexier costume.

 

In a benevolent mood, Ava ends up loaning her an iconic Marilyn Monroe pink dress. Janine looks great and Gregory is impressed. Happy Halloween!