Abbott Elementary – Smoking

By starrymag | February 28, 2024

By: Atiya Irvin-Mitchell

 

 

We start the episode with Janine (Quinta Brunson) checking in on her old class. While she’s doing the fellowship her kids have a revolving door of substitutes, so she likes to pop in to let the teachers know she supports them and let the kids know she didn’t forget them.

 

The check-in is cut short by a small fire, which means the entire school is waiting outside for the fire fighters to wrap up. They don’t know exactly what caused the fire yet, so the teachers are left wondering. Also, Gregory (Tyler James Williams) notices that Janine doesn’t seem fond of the current substitute Jessca (Sabrina Brier). She explains she disapproves because Jessca is taking selfies while the kids are meandering and, to make matters worse, she’s not using the buddy system. For whatever it’s worth the kids don’t seem bothered, but Janine certainly is.

 

Then, Captain Robison (Mike O’Malley) comes out and shares that the smoke was caused by a cigarette in the boys’ bathroom. This surprises the teachers, and they wonder who even smokes anymore. Jacob (Chris Perfetti), loyal to their rivalry, suggests that it was probably Mr. Morton. Ava (Janelle James) surprises them by bringing out the true culprit: Curtis (Willis K Kwakye Jr.). He looks to be in about 8th grade, so they wonder where he got the cigarettes. He says a guy around the corner sold him one for $1. They tell him he’s in big trouble because cigarettes are banned. Curtis; however, points out that there is not one sign around the school that says that.

 

Later, after checking the website and the school itself, the teachers realize that although they’ve banned bullying, vaping and skateboarding smoking isn’t technically against the rules. Gregory tells them that the guidance they got at the beginning of the year lists every expellable offense except cigarettes.

 

Remember Jessca the substitute? She is lax in other ways besides not believing in the buddy system. She lets students call her by her first name and tells them they only have to capitalize the names of states if they feel like it. Janine interrupts and tells the kids they absolutely have to capitalize the names of the states because they’re proper nouns. When Jessca wonders who Janine is, she explains that this is her class. Taking this is a sign that Janine is returning, Jessca starts leaving but Janine clarifies she’s just checking in. Janine gets further frustrated when Jessca tells the kids they can refer to her as “Janine.” Not feeling receptive to advice, Jessca shoos Janine out of the classroom.

 

In the teachers’ lounge the teachers talk a little more about the cigarette problem. They’re honestly surprised that smoking is still a thing. In the 2000s there were a ton of anti-smoking campaigns as Janine points out, but everything old is new again so it seems. Still, Jacob notes that smoking is such a gross habit. However, seeing as he vapes Janine says he doesn’t have a lot of room to talk. This leads him to telling everyone that Janine smokes marijuana every day. She says she has to otherwise she’d be an insufferable energizer bunny. Greg shares that on weekends he takes edibles. And when Ava mocks this he brings up her hookah habit. Even Melissa (Lisa Ann Walter) is forced to admit to taking medically prescribed cannabis oils. Barbara (Sheryl Lee Ralph) reprimands them all for their drug use, but Melissa points out that Barbara never shied away from drinking wine.

 

The conversation is cut short when Janine notices a boy with his phone out listening in to their discussion. The teachers go after him and try to convince him to forget everything he just heard. Unfortunately, he doesn’t buy it when they say they were just joking. Then, Melissa tries a new approach and asks him to keep what he heard to himself. He says it can stay between them physically, but he posted the video he took to all his social media platforms already.

 

The video of the teachers admitting to their respective vices makes its way around the school and the kids aren’t shy about sharing their opinions about it. Jacob gets teased about his vaping habit. The kids now automatically assume that Janine is always high. When Barbara takes a sip of coffee, one of her kids asks if it’s really wine. And, of course, since they’ve all admitted to doing some form of a drug they don’t have a lot of credibility when it comes to telling the kids to just say no. So, Janine thinks it’s time to call in a professional: F.A.D.E. (Friends Against Drug Exposure.)

 

Later we learned that Tariq left F.A.D.E on pretty bad terms and things are currently litigious. Although, the bad professional breakup means that the higher ups at F.A.D.E weren’t super eager to help Janine because she recommended Tariq to him in the first place. Reluctantly, they send a couple speakers to talk to the kids.

 

Janine continues clashing with Jessca about the lack of structure in her class and offers to help, butJessca doesn’t feels she really needs her help because she’s teaching based off of vibes. Her telling Janine she’s letting the kids choose their own homework assignments goes over about as well as you’d expect.

 

F.A.D.E has sent a man named Timothy (Casey Frey) who isn’t aware that he’s a pretty terrible spoken word poet/rapper. The kids don’t respond well to his performance despite his best efforts. Then, things get worse when Caroline (Aparna Nancherla) comes out to give some not so fun facts about drugs. She doesn’t exactly know how to field a lot of the kids’ questions, namely if some drugs are better than others. They keep peppering her with questions about their own loved ones who take prescription or non-doctor approved drugs, and she gets flustered. This leads to her telling a kid his mother’s prescription is for herpes and blurting out that smoking is fine, just steer clear of opioids. At that, the teachers abruptly end the assembly.

 

Since the assembly didn’t go as well as they’d hoped the district has handed down a new zero tolerance mandate. There will now be mandatory locker searches, and anyone caught with anything drug or cigarette related will be suspended. And any discussion from students or teachers related to illicit substances is now banned. Later in the teacher’s lounge the teachers admit this feels like overkill. Then, as they’re discussing it, they realize they never figured out if Curtis has a smoking problem. They were so freaked out when they found the cigarette they never actually asked him what happened. Jacob points out that Curtis gets good grades and doesn’t bother anyone, so they’re not sure if suspending him is the right move.

 

When they talk to Curtis, he shares that he was just curious, and it was the first time he ever tried smoking. Gregory says curiosity is normal, but it’s not a habit he wants to develop. As a former child smoker Melissa agrees and admits it took her years to stop smoking. Curtis feels guilty and wonders if the disastrous F.A.D.E assembly was his fault, but Melissa says F.A.D.E is the government’s fault. Curtis apologizes nonetheless and Gregory and Melissa really don’t feel that a suspension is necessary here.

 

Elsewhere Janine and Barbara have a talk and Barbara notices that Janine isn’t being her usual overly friendly self with Jessca. When she presses for why Janine admits she’s upset about the total lack of structure in Jessca’s teaching. She feels like she’s teaching the kids all sorts of bad habits. However, Barbara gently points out that when Janine started Barbara wasn’t exactly thrilled about all the new ways of teaching she brought to Abbott. Ultimately, every teacher has their own way of teaching and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

 

Later, Janine apologizes to Jessca and says that while she’s at the district she knows it’s the substitute’s classroom. Also, she apologizes for implying Jessca doesn’t know what she’s doing. Jessca doesn’t remember any negative encounters and it turns out the apology isn’t necessary because Jessca isn’t coming back next week. She tells Janine she found this week pretty “mid” so the kids will have a whole new substitute teacher come Monday.

 

At the end of the day, we learn that Melissa and Gregory pled Curtis’s case to Janine, and she put in a good word for him at the district, so he won’t be suspended after all. Also, Jacob very reluctantly gives up vaping for the sake of his lungs. He gives up his vaping pen kicking and screaming though.