American Horror Stories – Dollhouse

By: Kelly Kearney

In the second season of the anthology series “American Horror Stories” we head back to 1966 to meet the Van Wirts – a millionaire doll maker and his motherless son searching for the perfect living doll to fill their family’s void. When a young woman named Coby applies for the job as Mr. Van Wirt’s secretary things go terrifyingly wrong as she finds out the job requirements are far deadlier than note taking and pouring the boss his coffee. Full of “American Horror Story” Easter eggs and familiar characters we’ve grown to love over the years the Season 2 premiere episode takes the job search to new levels. 

The Contest

We begin in 1966 with Coby (Kristine Froseth), a young woman heading into a job interview at a doll-making factory. Prim, proper and overqualified, it’s a shock when the owner of the company, Mr. Van Wirt (Denis O’Hare), declines to hire her. It’s even more shocking when his assistant knocks her out and she turns up trapped inside Van Wirt’s private dollhouse –a separate home or prison built on his property where he keeps his living dolls. When Coby wakes Van Wirt tells her she will be there for seven days now that she’s been forcibly entered into an exclusive pageant – one she’s learned she cannot ever escape. Van Wirt explains that her resume was so impressive he thought her skills would be of better use to him as entertainment for his son. Coby isn’t the only woman this millionaire lunatic captured as others are trapped there too (some missing tongues) and all there to partake in his twisted series of tests to find the best woman to care for his boy. Unlike other contests this isn’t one you want to be eliminated from. When Coby meets the other dolls she learns they’ve all been there for weeks and after an exhaustive search they’ve concluded that there is no way out of the house – not until the week is up and a winner is declared. Anyone who disappoints Van Wirt or fails in the competition will be ungraciously knocked out and thrown down the property’s well, leaving them for dead. According to the women the rules of this game are easy: be a doll: stay masked and never speak until spoken to. Entertain Van Wirt’s son Otis (Houston Jax Towe) and he could pick you for the win. It’s just too bad Otis is full of sarcasm and sadism because the second his father leaves the room the boy starts ordering his tongueless goon Eustace (Matt Lasky) to kill Coby, who’s dressed up like a clown. “Nobody likes clowns,” the pint-sized terror states, but Coby somehow manages to change his mind wth a magic trick. Using her mind she makes Otis’ toy car drive right up to his clown tirade and while that delights him her fellow doll prisoners are less enthused with her tricks. They question how she made the car move but they’re mostly just angry that she has a leg up in the game.

Before they can force the truth out of her a bell rings signaling it’s time for another test. This one is about how to properly set a table. The women have one minute to organize all of the cutlery and fold the napkins in a three-dimensional way. Do it perfectly and they will live to see the next test. Nobody better misplace those melon spoons! When the minute is up Van Wirt goes around the table maniacally inspecting their work ranting about napkin folds and terrapin spoons until one of the dolls fails the test. He is almost giddy when he has Euctuse electrocute her and toss the screaming woman down the well! Now Coby knows the women were telling the truth and the only way out of this mess is to charm the young boy.

A Deadly Game Nobody Wants to Win

The next day Coby tells Otis about her magic secret and explains how this unusual talent led to her leaving home. She explains she is like him – different. Her magic makes her an outsider and she assumes the fact he doesn’t go to school, have friends and spends his time playing with dolls makes them alike. Whether she wants him to believe they are similar because humanizing yourself to your captors makes it harder for them to hurt you, or if she really does see them as some sort of cosmic outcast soulmates, it really doesn’t matter because it works and she charms him enough that he admits he hopes she wins and becomes his new mommy. If his father is looking for the perfect replacement for his deceased wife, Coby is the best he could ever find. Besides, she is starting to actually care for this boy and worries about what a life with his father could do to him. She uses their newfound friendship to convince Otis to ask his father to stop killing her friends. These are real people, not toys he can toss away when he’s bored. Now that he sees Coby as a person, Otis starts to realize that she is right and feels guilty for the deaths of the other women. Later that night he interrupts his father’s troubling business call to ask him to stop killing the dolls. Unfortunately, he never gets a word in because Van Wirt pulls the perfect father routine and Otis chooses to stay silent.

The following day is the final test and one, some would say, is easy if you know a thing or two about laundry. Of course, nothing is simple with the doll man and the proper way to iron and fold a shirt is no different. With the women standing behind ironing boards, Van Wirt lectures them on the inventor of ironing spray and how he meticulously chose the perfect combination of herbs and oils to make a crisp and fresh-smelling crease in a dress shirt. Without a clue of the formula the women have three minutes to recreate the original ironing spray, scent and all, and then fold the shirts or face the well. Unfortunately, Coby scorches her shirt and for her punishment Van Wirt scorches her hand with the iron. She never screams as he presses the red hot metal into the palm of her hand. This sets off a panic and one of the girls lunges at him before she can be next. She never gets the upper hand and Van Wirt abruptly orders her death. He announces that tomorrow is the final contest – meaning everyone will die but the victor! Now the remaining dolls are in a panic. They, along with Coby, obsessively plot for ways out of the doll house except for Aurelia (Abby Corrigan), who hates Coby and has her own winning idea. Fueled by jealousy and fear for her own untimely death, Aurelia unscrews the top of a bedpost and tries stabbing Coby with the protruding screw! To her miscalculation she attacks a clown doll version of Coby instead. Her attacker was tricked with a life-sized replica of herself so maybe the same tactic could confuse Van Wirt? Once the homicidal woman calms down Coby announces she has a plan where no one has to die and they can all get out of this alive. It’s intriguing enough to put the pointy-ended bedpost down and listen to her ideas because their time is quickly running out. 

A Supreme Ending

The final test starts early as Van Wirt saunters into the doll’s house to announce the last set of rules. Thanks to the masks he forced the women to wear he has no idea he’s talking to mannequins dressed up as his dolls. With his back to them as he ridicules their lifeless stand-ins, Coby uses her magic to unlock the front door and the women make a run for it. The group gets all the way out of the house until Coby turns around like she forgot something. She cannot leave without Otis! Not with that crazy man he calls “father.” The two remaining dolls refuse to go back to the house so Coby is on her own. She somehow manages to sneak back in at the same time Van Wirt is raging over the discovery he has been duped. She finds Otis in his bedroom and begs him to run away with her and. for her kindness, Otis apologizes and then electrocutes her! Outside Eustace hunts down the remaining dolls and shoots them before they can make it to safety. When Coby wakes up she finds herself tied to a manufacturing table as she learns she has passed the final test. She is the perfect doll to raise Otis…well, almost perfect. Luckily Van Wirt is a dollmaker and has the means to mold her to his liking. Coby screams as she is squeezed into a doll mold that we later find out affixes a porcelain mask to her face. Now fully fitted with her perfect doll face, she is both mother and servant to Van Wirt and his boy. Her soulless doll eyes are trapped in this domesticated Hell until two women burst into the house and break her from her porcelain chains! The women, one of whom is a very young Fiona Goode (Caitlin Dulany) [yes, the Supreme herself] freeze the Van Wirts in place and tell Coby she is one of them. Her powers are that of a witch and nobody messes with one of their coven members. Before she can leave with her new cloak-wearing friends, Coby takes Otis with her and then sets the dollhouse, and his father, on fire. Time passes and we catch up with the duo about to start their new life at Mrs. Robicheaux’s Academy where a young frizzy red-haired fashionista greets the boy and his new mother at the door. Myrtle (Ellie Grace Pomeroy) and Otis are instant friends and this new life is all thanks to Coby, who finally found a place where her magical talents are appreciated.