DC’s Legends of Tomorrow – The One Where We’re Trapped On TV

By starrymag | June 2, 2020

By: Courtney Groom

 

 

Mona Wu (Ramona Young) is rewriting history to eradicate free will. She tells her co-worker Geoffrey Burch (Manraj Sidhu) that the Fates gave them food, shelter and television. But Geoffrey says that it doesn’t feel right and Atropos (Joanna Vanderham) comes on the TV. Atropos tells Geoffrey that his fate is destined to be ended and he collapses. The work period ends and they return to their domicile for an enforced recreation period. As they march past, Gary (Adam Tsekhman) thinks he recognizes Mona and asks if she remembers him. As they go on, Gary loudly insists that the world is wrong.

Mona returns to her domicile, makes a bowl of mush and turns on the TV to Fate-Plus. Zari (Tala Ashe) and Behrad (Shayan Sobhian) are in a version of “Friends” called “Ultimate Buds” and Behrad has all the mush they need except for the gray mush that he forgot. Mona chuckles at Behrad, saying that he’s so dumb.

The show continues and Zari worries about heating up the mush for her boss. Nate (Nick Zano) comes in and talks about how he got an audition for a role on “Arrow” and accidentally shoots Behrad with a prop crossbow. Behrad takes off the totem, sets it down and goes to clean up the gray mush that was spilled. Zari isn’t happy to be left alone with Nate and he apologizes for the time they almost kissed. She points out that he ruined the place and her boss is going to be there any minute. The totem starts to glow and Nate notices. He asks Zari what it’s doing and she notes that it’s never glowed before.

Nate touches it and gets a shock and energy flows from the totem. The ghost of the original Zari appears. She steps into her counterpart, Zari 2.0, and the two merge. Zari’s eyes glow and the Zari controlling her embraces Nate and says that he found her. The studio audience “aw’s” and Zari wonders who they are. Nate didn’t hear them. Zari confirms that he doesn’t remember them together. He tries to kiss her, but Zari sees her new body in the mirror. She asks where the Waverider and the others are, including Mona. Mona notices that Zari said her name and wonders how she knows her. Meanwhile, Nate calls Behrad out and Zari stares at her brother in shock, surprised to see him alive.

The boss (Sophia Johnson) arrives and Nate hides Zari in a closet while Behrad gapes at the hot boss. The boss asks where Zari is as the totem flies into the closet. Zari blows the door open and comes out. She figures that they’re stuck in a sitcom and hears the studio audience laughing. Zari figures that they fought the Fates and lost and were loomed there. There’s a door and Zari wonders what’s behind it, but Nate and Behrad haven’t noticed it before. Zari blast it open and finds static beyond it. She touches it, revealing a house.

Zari, Nate and Behrad go through and find themselves wearing Edwardian garb. Constantine (Matt Ryan) comes in, also wearing period clothing as a butler, and welcomes them to Highcastle Abbey. He says that they’ve been expecting the trio as Constantine leads them to the parlor while Mona watches. Nate and Behrad don’t recognize Constantine. Zari opens the window hoping it will allow them to escape, but there is nothing but hills. She figures that they should just play along until she gets Constantine to snap out of it.

Astra (Olivia Swann) is part of the show with her mother Lady Natalie (Alice Hunter). Astra is engaged to marry Behrad. They ask Constantine how Behrad is and he says that Behrad is a foreigner. Constantine presents the women to the newcomers and Natalie has Constantine show Nate to the servant’s hall. Once they leave Natalie and Astra sit with Zari and Behrad. Astra says that once she and Behrad marry he’ll inherit her family’s estate. Behrad isn’t thrilled at marrying her and Zari excuses herself to go to the lavatory.

Constantine takes Nate to the kitchen and Zari finds them there. She says that he needs to talk to Constantine alone. The other servants leave and Zari says that Constantine is a chain-smoking sorcerer with an apprentice named Gary. Constantine casts a spell binding Nate’s hands with an apron. Mona figures that the Gary on the street isn’t as crazy as he seems. Constantine admits that he’s at war with himself because part of him is seduced by dark magic. Zari explains that’s the real him. Constantine begs them not to tell Natalie. Zari says that they’ll keep quiet as long as Constantine tries to help them escape.

Mona drags Gary into her domicile saying that he was onto something. She then shows him the TV. Zari tells Constantine to find Sara (Caity Lotz), their captain. She says that she needs him to come with them. Astra and Behrad enter. Astra explains that she’s moving to London because she’s a diva. A Tarot card that Constantine is holding bursts into magical flame. When Astra insists on going with them, Constantine grabs her hand and they all vanish.

Mona and Gary are watching. Mona remembers Sara from another show “Star Trip.” She figures they need to get into Clotho Productions and find out what’s going on.

On “Star Trip” Sara is the captain of a space cruiser and her science officer detects a Gromulan star ship ahead. Ava (Jes Macallan) is the logical first officer. Sara orders an attack on the enemy ship. The science officer, Maala (Kurt Teixeira), hails the Gromulan ship. Zari and the others are there, made up as Gromulans, and can only speak Gromulan.

Sara wants to blow up the Gromulans, but Ava wants to talk with them. Thanks to the translator Zari can speak English and says that none of this is real. Nate offers to push a button and Zari stops him, but Behrad pushes it instead. They open fire on the Fate-rider. Most of the crew are dead except Sara and Ava. Sara prepares to return fire.

Meanwhile, Mona and Gary go to Clothos Productions posing as mush-machine vendors. They’re not on the list and Mona bluffs the security chief man, Lalo (Jarett John), into letting them pass.

Mona and Gary head to the control room and find a device generating a script for “Star Trip.” There are life threads hooked up to the machine and Mona realizes that people are trapped in the show.

Ava reports that the weapons aren’t working. Zari offers to beam them over. The two women figure it’s a trap, so Zari beams them over anyway and explains that they’re in an alternate reality. Ava figures that they’re their crew from an alternate dimension, trapped in a 20th century prison. She wonders if they’re in a prison dimension as well.

Ava says that they’ve been investigating an odd radio transmission from the planet Cul-De-Sac, even though the sector should be deserted. The radio plays the “Mr. Parker” theme. Zari figures that they should make contact and everyone disagrees except Nate and Behrad, who push a button. A giant hand appears and grabs their ship.

The crew then find themselves in the “Mr. Parker’s Cul-De-Sac” show. They’re Mr. Parker’s visitors, the Community Helpers. Mr. Parker (Erik Gow) starts story time and Sara sends him to take a walk around the block. Zari admits that she doesn’t have a plan and figures that if they remember that they’re the Legends that they can help her out.

Zari says that they’re Legends not because of their powers, but because they’re a bunch of misfits who are trying to make a difference. Mona realizes that Zari is talking about them and starts rewriting the script saying that the Legends remember who they are.

The Legends suddenly remember who they are and that Sara died when the zombies overran them. Sara and Ava hug. Behrad wonders how he can be alive. Ava figures that Charlie hid them on TV to protect her from her sisters and Astra wonders if the Loom brought her mother Natalie back. Constantine says he doesn’t know and Nate tells “his” Zari that he’s never going to lose her again.

As Mona and Gary celebrate their victory, Charlie (Maisie Richardson-Sellers) comes in and calls them idiots. When Gary explains that they restored the Legends’ memories, Charlie tells him and Mona that they ruined everything. She can’t let the Legends escape and starts typing on the machine.

Behrad wonders where his Zari is and Zari 1.0 admits that she’s possessing her counterpart’s body. She figures that the other Zari deserves to be there. Mr. Parker comes back in and says that remembering two different timelines is very confusing and offers to help.

Parker echoes Charlie’s words about bad feelings and he tells them to repress them. Sara realizes that he’s not Mr. Parker. Mr. Parker snaps his fingers and sends them back to the Fate-rider. Parker then tells the others that they all have to go home, snaps his fingers and Behrad and Zari sing along with Parker about obeying the Fates. Nate throws himself at Parker and finds himself back in “Ultimate Buds,” tackling the boss. Zari and Behrad are there, but the Legends still have their memories.

Constantine summons hellfire and threatens Parker. Astra says that they have to go back. She wants to see her mother and Constantine snuffs the flames. Astra tells him that she has to know if her mother is really alive. She and Constantine sing the repression song and hold hands.

They find themselves back in Highcastle Abbey at Christmas time. Natalie comes in and Astra asks her if she remembers her old laugh. Natalie doesn’t. Astra tells her that she loves her. The two women hug and Constantine tells Astra that they can stay. He insists that it’s no trick and that he has nothing to show for himself but pain and broken promises. Astra is surprised at Constantine’s selflessness and they slip back into their characters.

Mona and Gary go to Charlie, who tells them that one show is back on track and her story-writing algorithm should get the other shows back on, too. When Mona wonders why the Legends are on TV, Charlie explains that she made a deal with her sisters to keep the Legends alive by weaving the Legends into their streaming service to indoctrinate the masses.

Sara figures that they have to get back to the real world and Ava says that she saw Sara die in the real world and it was awful. In the show they always win. Sara figures that Charlie set the whole thing up because it’s what they asked for in the pub, but it doesn’t exist. She says that life is beautiful and terrible at the same time, but if they’re part of it then they’re not living at all.

As Mona and Gary watch, Mala reports to Sara that he’s picking up a strange signal. It’s Sara’s old enemy, Dhan, who is really Mick (Dominic Purcell). Dhan charges his ship’s torpedoes and Sara figures that the only way to get Charlie to free them is if they lose. Dhan opens fire and Sara refuses to order evasive maneuvers.

Mona tells Charlie that she has to save them. She goes to the script-writing machine. As the ship blows up around them Sara and Ava kiss. Then, the screen goes blank. Charlies tells Gary and Mona that she cancelled their show.

Natalie, Constantine, and Astra are at Highcastle Abbey. Natalie has Astra open a present and inside is a ticket to London, like Astra mentioned earlier. Astra says that she can’t leave her mother, but Natalie tells her that she has her entire life ahead of her and to live her life well. Natalie walks away. Astra tells Constantine that they can’t stay there. Constantine says that Natalie would be proud and casts a spell to send them to a void where Sara, Mick and Ava are waiting.

Behrad says that he can’t go back to eating mush and the audience gasps. Zari picks up on it and talks about the flaws in mush. Nate points out that the Fates said that they have to eat it. When Zari says that to screw the Fates the studio audience of the masses appear.

Charlie says that the Legends can’t rebel or they’ll inspire an insurrection.

Zari, Nate and Behrad tell the masses to get off their couches and take control of their lives. When Zari throws a bowl of mush at the camera, the trio find themselves in an empty studio with their teammates. Everyone hugs and Charlie comes on the loudspeaker saying that they’re morons for refusing her giving them everything they wanted.

Charlie figures that since she has their life threads she can do rewrites and put their shows back on the air. She splits one thread apart and the two Zari’s separate. Behrad and his sister go to each other. Nate figures that it’s weird that he has two Zari’s. Charlie says that her sisters will kill them and that the Legends should accept their fates. Despite that, the Legends walk out the studio door. Charlie warns Mona and Gary that she can’t help them anymore.