Fleabag – Episode 2.5

By: Ellie Dolan-Yates

Fleabag (Phoebe Waller-Bridge) is sat having a drink with the lawyer (Ray Fearon) that Claire (Sian Clifford) has hired to defend her. Fleabag tells us how he’s funny and clever. He asks her if she wants to go and have sex as he’s really good at it. Fleabag tells us he won’t be but by the time they get to it she’s changed her mind.

Fleabag is doing the “walk of shame” to her dad’s house when she meets Claire who is carrying a rather wild flower arrangement. It’s clear Fleabag is feeling worse for wear. She offers Claire a hand but she refuses. Claire says she has a very important appointment later on, but again refuses help when Fleabag offers – unless she can stop the wedding. Their dad (Bill Paterson) lets them in and Fleabag sees The Priest (Andrew Scott). After a bit of awkwardness The Priest says he can come back later, but Godmother (Olivia Colman) is adamant he stays. The Priest reveals that he will no longer be able to officiate the wedding due to the fact that his brother has been hit by a lorry. Godmother is clearly in shock. Fleabag tells us that this is going to be spectacular. Godmother reluctantly tells him to see his brother. After ushering him out she drops the C-bomb (by drop I mean screams) amongst a few other choice words and tells Dad to send Fleabag and Claire away. As Claire and Fleabag leave, Claire reveals that she’s relieved.

Fleabag is sat at the bus stop, head in hands. The Priest takes a seat next to her, startling her. Fleabag tells him that he can’t cancel as he has the dress. The Priest asks Fleabag to not go to the church again and leaves. Fleabag looks at us, clearly upset and puts her head back into her hands.

At Fleabag’s café she is being accosted by an old man (David Hargreaves) about insurance, but she says she can deal with it. She tells Joe that it’s “Quiet Tuesday,” even though he points out that it’s “Chatty Wednesday.” Fleabag asks Joe to be quiet and he agrees. The bank manager (Hugh Dennis), who approved Fleabag’s loan to keep the café running, enters holding a package. Fleabag is surprised, but he reveals that he’s been offered a new job. He hands her the package, telling her it’s a guinea pig. Fleabag tells us it’s a hamster. Fleabag thanks him, but her phone is vibrating. She says she needs to answer it since it’s her mental sister. Claire is clearly distraught and she needs Fleabag. The bank man says he can look after the café for Fleabag and she leaves him the keys.

Claire is sat on a park bench, visibly upset, with short hair. Very short hair. French style, fringe one side longer than the other. Fleabag says to us that it’s horrendous, but tells Claire it’s modern. Claire declares that she looks like a pencil. Fleabag laughs and sits next to her. Claire breaks down telling her not to laugh and that she’s going to lose her job. Fleabag asks her if she went to Anthony (Kadiff Kirwan) to get her hair done and reminds her of her own experience at the hairdresser’s scissors. There’s a quick flashback to him cutting Fleabag’s hair very short. Claire says it’s not what she asks for and Fleabag marches her to the hairdressers. Fleabag doesn’t have chance to speak before Anthony says “no.” He explains that it’s what Claire asked for but Fleabag says they want compensation. Anthony says hair isn’t everything, but Fleabag reminds him that it pays his bills. Claire tells Anthony to show Fleabag the reference, he does so and it’s exactly the hairstyle that Claire has ended up with. They apologize, embarrassed, and Fleabag tells him she’ll see him next week.

Fleabag and Claire are back on the park bench. Claire thanks her sister for being there at the hospital. Fleabag tells Claire that she’s sorry about the miscarriage, but Claire says she didn’t want her husband’s baby. Fleabag tells Claire that she’s met someone… a priest! Claire puts her head in her hands and asks if it’s the priest. Claire laughs and tells Fleabag that she’s a genius and her hero. Klare (Christian Hillborg) appears and Claire panics. He tells Claire that he loves her hair and she looks like a pop star. He asks if Claire is free to go to a “music thing” with him, but she says she has to take her stepson his bassoon. Fleabag takes the bassoon and tells Claire to go with Klare. Fleabag smiles as she watches Klare and Claire walk away. She checks the time and runs back to the café.

She apologizes to bank man who is clearing the tables and he hands her the keys back. He says he’ll be back and takes his apron with him as he leaves. Martin (Brett Gelman) is waiting in the café for Fleabag. He is stroking Hilary, but Fleabag tells him to put her down. He asks where Claire is, but Fleabag says she doesn’t know and tells him not to hurt the guinea pig. Martin starts drinking from a bottle of whiskey and tells Fleabag that she is the cause of all of his problems. He’s jealous that Claire would do anything for Fleabag, but he can’t even get her pregnant. Fleabag doesn’t say anything, but her phone vibrates. Martin tells her to give him her phone and when Fleabag refuses he asks if Claire is leaving him. Fleabag tells him that she hopes so, but he pleads with her to not let Claire leave him. Fleabag tells him she hopes Claire doesn’t go home. Martin grabs her and they exchange “F- you’s” as he leaves. He tells her she better start sleeping with a lawyer and she tells him she is. Fleabag sighs and tells us that she better call her lawyer.

Fleabag is waiting in her house, in just her coat and underwear.  The bell rings and she answers it…to The Priest! She lets him in and he says he’s changed his mind about the wedding. He starts telling her what he’s sacrificed to be a priest, but the bell rings again. Fleabag says she doesn’t like opening the door to people she doesn’t know. A male voice shouts, “I’m baaaccck!” and the buzzer keeps ringing. She tells The Priest it’s fine and he begins to talk again, but the buzzer continues to ring. She goes to the door. She tells the lawyer that he can’t come in. She explains that her priest is there. The Priest is listening in as the lawyer tells Fleabag he’s really good at what they did. Under pressure from the lawyer Fleabag tells him that he’s the best sex she’s ever had. He leaves and Fleabag apologizes to The Priest and tells him she only said what she did to get rid of the lawyer. He tells her that he can’t be physical with her. He says he can’t have sex with her because he’ll fall in love with her. She tells us that they’re going to have sex, but The Priest tells her to stop doing that. After a slightly heated exchange, The Priest resigns himself to the fact that they’re going to have sex. He undoes Fleabag’s coat and they kiss. They end up in bed and Fleabag pushes the camera away.