iZombie – The Scratchmaker

By: Maggie Stankiewicz

Blaine (David Anders) channels his inner Joker whilst inhabiting his very own jail cell, left alone to contemplate his life and his choices. While his path is suitable material for a quality monologue, it also expertly demonstrates Don E’s (Bryce Hodgson) plight as Blaine’s left-hand man and number one fan. Don E is the man of the hour, mixing drinks at The Scatching Post for a large wedding party when he his approached by Carol (Miriam Smith), an esteemed match maker. Carol and Don E exchange a few sentences while he tops off his pours and she mentions the possibility of a woman perfectly suited for Don E. The precocious zombie man tries to pull more details out of the matchmaker, but she isn’t able to give him any information beyond attributing her hunch to intuition before they’re interrupted by another patron. The groom’s mother approaches the bar to warn Don E about the Dead Enders picketing just outside the establishment – a common sight given the city’s ongoing state of emergency.

While the matchmakers make matches in the city’s zombie underbelly, Major (Robert Buckley) also takes steps to secure his own form of commerce: brains. Major take advantage of Blaine’s position as a captive audience to interrogate the criminal mastermind on the bottleneck of the brain smuggling business. Unless Major is able to acquire some serious details, the brain well will run dry in the city of Seattle and the zombie population will suffer. Blaine, ever the cunning businessman, refuses to provide Major with information unless Major can liberate him from the steel confines of county jail. Despite the brain supply threatening to run dry, Liv (Rose McIver) is far from having to worry about her food supply. Another body has turned up and the victim is Carol. While Liv and Ravi (Rahul Kohli) assess the damage done to Liv’s next meal, they discuss Blaine’s position and the importance of his black-market brain business. Despite the depraved nature of everything Blaine does, he’s too integral in balancing the zombie-human population. Clive (Malcolm Goodwin) makes his way to the forefront of the scene and present Liv and Ravi with a distinguishable red button – perhaps a clue to the identity of Carol’s killer.

Blaine reminds everyone of his importance once more, promising listeners that the episode is not about the victim Carol, but about him. All evidence suggests that he may need to share the spotlight, even if it’s just for a few moments. Dale (Jessica Harmon) orders Blaine’s presence for some verbal sparring. Dale teases Blaine with a conviction, evidence of his involvement in the Baracas murder (thanks to Al’s expose). Brandt Stone (Ken Marino), Blaine’s lawyer, takes it upon himself to cut the interview short and demands the party disperse. When Dale and her partner comply, Brandt promises Blaine that while he legal situation is salvageable, his public appearance remains rather precarious. Brandt covers the camera in the room and assures Blaine that he will file for bail. The moment the check clears, Blaine composes a note that simply states “365 degrees.”

With Blaine’s evasion tactics operating at alpha levels, Major enlists Hobbs (Adam Greydon Reid) to help him get to the bottom of things. They pay a visit to Don E who pleads the fifth on Blaine’s business model and tells the Fillmore Graves soldiers that he will need to discuss the matter with Blaine himself. Within mere moments, Stacey Boss (Eddie Jemison) and his bodyguard saunter in and declare that it’s time for action. Stacey mentions that he’d been finding brains on a global scale and Don E is the biggest pusher of the merchandise. Stacey is interested in completely removing Blaine from the operation, but Major will need to up the ante when it comes to financials. Major doesn’t have the budget to make the operation work under the new terms, but Stacey is unwilling to waver. Major will have to pay twice as much for the same brains. Major has no choice but to take the offer into consideration and promptly leaves Don E and Stacey to their own devices. Stacey asks Don E if Blaine would be inclined to share the unwavering loyalty – a conversation to which Major listens to via hidden microphone.

Don E’s work isn’t done quite yet. Brandt slips in to give Don E a message on the lack of Scratching Post spirits and Blaine’s frozen assets. Liv and Clive enter, forcing Brandt to eat the note before advising Don E to keep his mouth shut. Don E, still thinking about Carol’s promise of finding him the perfect woman, asks Liv if she knows who she might be. Don E attempts to prompt a memory into firing but is unsuccessful. Major moves on from his sting operation to discuss the situation with the chief of staff. If the zombie population becomes desperate for sustenance, the wall surrounding the city will do little to deter them from getting their brains. General Mills suggests rationing out the stockpiled brains before the route through Seattle is cutoff. This idea is quickly dismissed, leaving Major in a bit of a pickle.

Brandt moves from one conversation to the next and holds a meeting with Blaine where they discuss the freezing of the criminal’s assets. Brandt assures Blaine that he can get Blaine off once his retainer is paid. Blaine instructs him to call Don E, who says that funds are too low to even pay off the retainer. Blaine, frustrated, sends Don E off to hunt down a back of $50,000 and asks for a $10,000 loan. Don E assures his boss that he’ll get the money. The situation worsens when Dale informs Blaine that his home is on fire. While the police and the fire department are off putting out literal fires, reporters meet with the infamous Dolly Durkins – who proudly reports that brain supplies are dwindling. Major watches this declaration from the television – icing on top of an already unsavory day.

Blaine, finally free from his cell, goes into hiding in Don E’s basement where he makes a call to Al (Gage Golightly). Blaine, hot headed and full of rage, pulls out all the stops in attempt to frighten the reporter into submission – but she doesn’t take the bait. Furious at Al’s continued taunting and use of Peyton in her arguments, Blaine rages out. Unphased, Al pulls out a gun, reveals her red glowing eyes and commands that Blaine leave. He complies. Blaine retreats and makes his way back to the Scratching Post to meet with Don E. The pair skim the internet for bidders in a zombie auction and discuss the circumstance surrounding Dale’s pregnancy. Tanner soon enters with cash, but zombie cures are still missing from inventory. Blaine takes his frustration out on Tanner and kills him.

Meanwhile, Liv pays a visit to Renegade HQ to meet with Riley (Kaylah Zander) and Graham (Dejan Loyola). Graham vouches for Riley and the girl mentions that they met at school. Liv, juiced up on matchmaker brain, offers to help Riley find love in a hopeless place. In a test of loyalty they drink a spiked toast, but a zombie Riley reacts to the shot as a human would – proving her loyalty not to Renegade but to those working in her opposition. She has been groomed to infiltrate the organization.

Major really steps it up this episode and announces the impending brain rationing, as well as the news stories featuring Dolly (Jennifer Irwin) and her fear mongering tactics. He then pays a visit to Dolly and threatens to close her establishment for blatant discrimination if she refuses to serve him. Dolly eventually caves and Major signals his FG troops to begin eating, scaring away the human customers. Dolly counters with her own bravery and a young FG Solider named Murphy (Rohan Campbell) tells Dolly to chill out…in the way only a child can to his parent. Dolly is still full of hatred.

The next day Major meets with Ty Griss (David Stuart), the COO of UFrightEze – a company who delivers night vision goggles used in some clandestine operations. Major explains to the company his disassociation with Blaine and the two men begin to discuss a partnership. With things beginning to look up on the Brain Train, Liv is also one step closer to solving her own case – Carol’s murder. Liv and Clive question Mrs. Schwartz (Robyn Bradley), a woman captured on camera, who quickly confesses that the matchmaker set her son up with a zombie in what she considered to be a punishable offense. Mrs. Schwartz writes her confession down in time for Clive to tend to Dale who is experiencing some gestational discomfort.

To wrap things up in a messy little bow, Don E revisits Major at work who managed to secure UFrightEze as the supply chain and shipping vendor for the brains. Griss vows to include brain donor cards with all shipments for 90% of their original deal with Blaine. Don E offers 80% for the bid and Major conditionally agrees. Blaine will be phased out and replaced on all promotional materials. Don E takes this as an opportunity to cultivate his entrepreneurial spirit and returns to the Scratching Post where he informs Blaine of a brand overhaul. The bar will be renamed. Blaine will have nowhere to turn. His reputation tarnished, Blaine leaves in a huff to meet back up with Brandt. Blaine instructs the lawyer to draft up a contract. Later, Blaine takes his freshly minted contract to Freylich victim Darcy Bennett (Valerie Tian). Blaine offers Darcy half a million dollars in exchange for her brain upon her inevitable death. She agrees. Unbeknownst to Darcy, Blaine intends on expediting her death for a rich zombie buyer.