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Life in Pieces – Lost Math Art Glam
By: Jessica Wolff
In the first story Greg Short (Colin Hanks) brings Lark Short (Ana Sophia Heger) to meet her new sister, Talia Short, telling her that they’ll be in each other’s lives forever. Lark asks if she can push the elevator button and Greg agrees. As they step into the elevator, Jen Short (Zoe Lister-Jones) calls Greg asking if they’re at the hospital yet.
Greg comments that they’re going to be a family of four and that both of them will be a favorite parent. Jen replies that it isn’t necessarily true and asks if Lark is in her special dress. Greg assures her that everyone’s taken care of and is confident that the transition from one to two kids will be easy.
However, Lark doesn’t follow him out of the elevator and pushes all the buttons. Greg is unable to get to Lark before the elevator closes and runs to the stairwell. A man dressed in a bear costume (John Shartzer) asks Greg where the burn unit is, and calls Greg a jerk when he tells him he can’t help.
Greg stops the elevator before it closes, but Lark isn’t inside. He runs to Officer Torte (Larry Herron) and gives him a description of Lark. Torte asks if he’s tried the morgue and Greg freaks out. Torte explains there’s a McDonalds nearby and Greg asks why he didn’t just say that as he runs away.
Jen calls Greg asking where they are, and Greg tells her that they got turned around. She asks Greg to put Lark on the phone, and he lies that Lark has twenty gumballs in her mouth. Jen asks if that’s safe, and Greg tells her there’s help around every hospital corner. He hangs up and calls out for help.
Greg jumps when Heather Hughes (Betsy Brandt) congratulates him. He tells her he lost Lark, and Heather tells him there’s no need to worry. She asks how long she’s been gone, and Greg estimates three minutes. Heather then freaks out, asking why he’s standing around and not looking for her.
Greg yells frantically for Lark as he runs down the hall, bumping into nurses. He sees a girl with a balloon, but realizes it’s not Lark when she turns around. The girl (Pyper Braun) tells him she has the flu before coughing on him.
Greg asks a nurse if she’s seen a little girl, and Lark says hello to him from behind her. He embraces Lark and thanks the nurse. Greg asks Lark if she’s okay and she tells him she saw a sleeping man with a price tag on his toe. He asks if she tried to wake him up and she says no.
Greg brings Lark to Jen, and Jen tells Lark that someone’s been asking to meet her. As Greg films, Lark looks at Talia and calls her cute. Lark tells Talia she loves her, and Jen tells Greg this is how she pictured it. Heather runs in and is relieved he found Lark before telling Lark she thought they lost her forever.
Jen asks Greg if he lost Lark, but Greg denies it. The hospital makes an announcement about a missing child that answers to the name of Lark. Jen gives Greg a look, and he suggests they get a leash for Lark.
In the second story, Heather asks Sophia Hughes (Giselle Eisenberg) when she’ll join the rest of the family for dinner. Sophia tells her that her math homework is impossible. Heather offers to help her, and Samantha Hughes (Holly Barrett) asks if she can go to a silent rave.
Heather tells her no but lets her go after Samantha threatens to stay in and send pictures of her butt to every guy in school. She looks at Sophia’s homework and questions where the numbers are. Sophia tells her she’ll copy off someone, but Heather insists she’s four credits short from a college degree. Heather stares at the paper in confusion and Sophia asks if the four credits are in math.
Heather struggles to solve the problem and tells Sophia she’ll eat once they get this. Tim Hughes (Dan Bakkedahl) checks on them and declares that he’s good at homework. He looks at the paper and questions if the problem is really math. Sophia declares she’ll google it and Tim questions how she’s going to google grids. Heather declares that today will not be the day their daughter’s homework is too difficult for them.
Tim looks at the paper again and declares that today’s the day. Colleen Brandon-Ortega (Angelique Cabral) walks by and Heather asks for her help. Colleen is happy to help, but Heather asks her to get Jen. After looking at the paper, Jen says the number eighteen, clarifying it’s the number of years since she’s done math.
Heather reminds her that she’s a lawyer and goes to an office, and Jen replies that those are facts about her, asking if she wants her to sue the school for giving Sophia homework. Sophia offers a suggestion, but Heather tells her the adults are talking. Jen tells them that she has no idea what any of this is and Tim asks if she tried asking Samantha.
Heather insists she’s not going to ask a sixteen-year-old for help, but Tim points out they’re too old for math. He asks her a simple math question, and Heather tells Sophia nobody asked her to do math when she answers it. Jen asks Colleen if she can get Greg, but Greg doesn’t understand it either.
Colleen tells them they should have asked her for help, accusing them of thinking she can’t do numbers. Heather asks if she understands the math concept, but Colleen has never heard of it. Jen tells them she’s going to get some math stuff from home, but Tim realizes that she isn’t coming back.
Tim tells Sophia to get Sam, but Heather insists they can figure it out. She helps Sophia figure out the problem and Sophia tells her she’s the best. Heather tells Sophia to get dessert as Samantha comes in and holds out her hand for money. Heather gives her money for food and Samantha asks how much she’s getting to do her homework.
In the third story, Matt Short (Thomas Sadoski) asks John Short (James Brolin) where Joan Short (Dianne Wiest) is, explaining she’s taking Lucas (Vivaan Bisoi) to art class. Matt explains he has a work emergency involving incorrect graphics font, but John tells him a work emergency in his day involved people plummeting to their death.
Matt tells John that Lucas needs a ride to art class and John suggests he skip the class. Matt argues that Lucas loves art class and that he’s trying to be supportive unlike him. He reminds John that he once called his art class “fart class” and John starts laughing. Matt also reminds him that he made him skip the class for golf lessons.
John can’t believe he remembers that, and Matt tells him that’s how trauma works. John agrees to take Lucas to art class before realizing that Matt wants him to go immediately. Later, Matt tells John that Lucas enjoyed spending time with him and gives him a drawing Lucas made to say thank you. John comments that he thought his art got better, but Matt tells him Lucas drew it.
John tells him the drawing’s just a pile of rocks but puts in on the refrigerator. Matt comments that he never made the fridge, but John replies he has to earn it. Matt loves Lucas’ passion for art and questions whether he should double his classes. John offers to take Lucas and Matt is happy that he’s supporting him.
John tells him Lucas is his first grandson but Tyler Hughes (Niall Cunningham) tells him he is. Matt jumps in and insists John meant Lucas is his first grandson with a dream, but Tyler reminds them that nobody ever came to see his band play. John offers to go to his next show, but Tyler reminds him he quit. John tells him he didn’t support him because he’s a quitter.
Later, Joan tells Matt that John and Lucas are still out. Matt is excited that John is supporting Lucas’ art after he told him to quit art. Joan reminds him that he was thirty-six and living in their garage when he told him that and Matt questions why Lucas’ art supplies are still there. Joan questions why they would need art supplies for the golf course.
Matt goes to the golf course and confronts John about not supporting Lucas. John tells him he can explain, and Lucas holds up a rock and calls it igneous. Matt is confused and John explains that Lucas loves rocks and hates art. Matt doesn’t believe him, but Lucas starts picking up rocks and declaring he loves them before kissing them.
Matt questions why Lucas would lie about liking art and John tells him it’s because his dad is pushing him to be someone he isn’t. Matt realizes he made the same mistake and John assures he’ll do better on the next kid if he can afford one. Matt insists he can still support Lucas and his love of rocks and John suggests he will too. John asks if he wants to play and Matt tells him he hates golf.
Matt takes John to an art class, thanking him for coming with him. John pours himself a glass of wine, declaring he understands why Heather likes the class so much. The art instructor (Tema Louise Sall) tells him alcohol isn’t allowed and Heather explains he has to hide the alcohol in a water bottle.
In the final story, Colleen thanks Joan, Jen, and Heather for coming, telling them their tea is microwaved Snapple. Colleen suggests they all take a family photo but Joan refuses. Joan goes to get real tea bags and Heather explains that Joan refuses to take photographs. She and Jen explain that they’ve only gotten blurred photos of her over the years and Jen calls her the “Bigfoot of suburban therapists.”
Colleen is confident she can convince Joan, but Heather and Jen laugh at her. Heather tells her she didn’t take one for Lark’s christening, and Jen is surprised that Lark was christened. Colleen tells Joan the family photo won’t be complete without her. Joan refuses and Colleen asks why she hates the camera so much.
Joan insists the camera hates her, but Colleen tells her that the camera needs to get to know her, offering to make the introduction. Colleen offers to do her makeup for the photo, but Joan argues that she doesn’t do makeup. Colleen begs her to try makeup and tells her she has experience. She asks Joan which eyebrow she lost in a sorority hazing accident and Joan guesses. Colleen tells her it’s both and Joan comments that her skills are good.
Jen and Heather ask Colleen how she convinced Joan, and Colleen explains that she used makeup. Colleen tells them she can give Jen an upper lip with her skills and Heather assures Jen her lips are perfect as Colleen walks away. Joan walks down the stairs, and everyone is horrified by her overly made-up appearance.
Greg tries to compliment her, but Heather whispers to Tim that Joan’s appearance is like an eclipse and they shouldn’t look directly at it. Tim asks where he’s supposed to look, and Heather unbuttons her top. John attempts to compliment Joan, and Joan replies that it’s too much.
Colleen tells everyone to get ready and Tyler offers to help Joan down the stairs. Joan explains that the weight of the fake eyelashes is keeping her eyes closed. Heather asks Colleen what she did to Joan and Colleen admits she went overboard but that Joan is participating in the photo.
Joan is unhappy about being front and center and Clementine Hughes (Hunter King) tells Lark that she’s going to stand in front of Joan. Lark declares that Joan is scary and runs away, causing Joan to declare she can’t do this. Colleen insists she can fix it, but Jen tells her the answer isn’t in the makeup bag.
Days later, Colleen apologizes for what happened and Joan apologizes that she didn’t get her family photo as the rest of the family gathers around them. Jen gives Joan Talia and Colleen tells her to look up and say cheese. The family takes the photo and Joan realizes she’s been tricked.
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