Living with Yourself – Green Tea

By: Ellie Dolan-Yates

We begin with Miles (Paul Rudd) getting his wedding ring back from Clone Miles (also Paul Rudd). He thanks God for giving him his life back and is surprised to find that everybody is praising him for his Hillston pitch, except Dan (Desmin Borges) who barges into him. He finds all of Clone Miles’ ideas on his desk when his boss, Pool (Karen Pittman), comes to tell him that she’s moved the Hillston pitch up and that she’s got her star back. Miles asks her what she liked best about his pitch as he clearly has no clue what Clone Miles has proposed, but she just replies with “all of it.”

Miles is at home still going through Clone Miles’ confusing notes and drawings when his wife, Kate (Aisling Bea), tells him that his sister called again. She asks him about the dry cleaning she rang him about a few hours ago, but he has to say he forgot. He has to think quick when Kate asks if he’s planning a trip to Vegas seeing as the bank contacted her about savings being took out. As Kate leaves the table, Miles looks for his phone. He rings it to find out where it is and sure enough it rings outside the back door. Miles opens the door to find Clone Miles trying to turn the ringer off.

Both Miles’ are in the restaurant when the Margaret (Eden Malyn), the waitress, says she’s just going to get them a green tea and a Coke. Miles reminds her that he had a green tea last time, but she says that he wanted a Coke. Miles tells Clone Miles that his pitch sucks. Clone Miles reminds him that Pool liked it. Clone Miles asks him if he wants help and Miles says just for a week until the pitch is over. Clone Miles agrees because he wants his old life back and they agree to not ever tell Kate.

Kate leaves for work and Miles waves her off before running into the attic room to swap clothes with Clone Miles before seeing him off to work. Miles sets to work on his screenplay. Miles asks Clone Miles how his day went and, as he is clearing up Miles’ office, he tells him it went great and Dan was pissed. They agree to do the same thing tomorrow and the same scene plays out. Miles waves Kate off, Miles’ changing clothes, Miles working on his screenplay, etc. As the week goes on it seems that Miles is growing bored. He is drinking more and watching Crufts videos on YouTube. He also finds himself watching rude videos on the TV! He is surrounded by empty bottles when Clone Miles asks him if he’s had a fun week. Clone Miles wonders how much he’s had to drink and then reminds him that Kate is throwing a party that night. Miles asks Clone Miles to step in for him.

It looks like Miles is regretting the swap for the party as he is sat watching on from the stairs as Clone Miles is telling stories, making everyone laugh. Clone Miles and Kate head upstairs, getting amorous, but Miles is having none of it! As Kate tells Clone Miles to get into bed, Miles makes him swap back with him. Looks like Clone Miles still isn’t getting laid. Kate gets into bed and thanks Miles for trying at the party. She says she’s missed his stories and is glad they’re back. They kiss, but Miles looks like he’s finding it awkward, even more so as they make love.

Miles is at his sister’s (Alia Shawkat) house telling her that he needs to talk to someone. After letting him in she is laughing. It turns out that Clone Miles already told her about the cloning and he has been visiting her over the past week. She raves about Clone Miles when Miles tells her that she’s his little sister. Miles says that Clone Miles is better than him with everything and his sister asks him if he’s really jealous of himself. He asks why he can’t be happy for once and his sister tells him it’s because he didn’t earn it.

Back home Miles opens his laptop to work on his screenplay when he realizes it’s been tampered with. When Clone Miles gets home Miles is waiting at the desk for him. He’s angry that Clone Miles has altered his screenplay and Clone Miles says it’s his story too and at least it’s not boring anymore. When Miles tells him the lead is based on himself, Clone Miles says no wonder it’s boring. As Miles continues to be angry with and wound up by Clone Miles, he tells him that he’s going to do the Hillston pitch and kill it and then Clone Miles can go. With that he knocks down the Eiffel Tower model that Clone Miles has built. Kate asks Miles if he’s going to bed, but he says not as he’s going through the notes for the pitch.

Miles and his co-workers arrive to present the pitch to Mr. Hillston (Jerry Adler). Miles is clearly nervous, as is Dan, but Pool tells Miles that if he wins the pitch he might get promoted. Pool describes Miles to Mr. Hillston as one of the brightest in the business and says that he has some of his best work to present today. Miles stands up to deliver the pitch, but stutters. Mr. Hillston tells him to just say what he has to say. As he is struggling he decides to play a video to explain…the video he was watching at home! Oops. Eventually, he plays the correct video and as it ends Pool starts to tell Mr. Hillston that they have a second pitch. Dan goes to get his props, but Mr. Hillston says he likes Miles’ pitch. He tells Pool that the campaign is theirs and if it succeeds they will become his lead marketing company. Afterwards, he asks to talk to Miles alone. Miles explains that he was a little nervous, but Hillston alludes to him knowing that he copied the pitch. He tells him the story of when he was a boy in the war. He stole some rations, but said it was another boy who eventually got shot. He doesn’t mind a cheat, but if you’re going to cheat he notes it he do it right. He tells him not to stop with whatever he did to come up with the campaign.

Miles is dropped back off at work when his phone rings. It’s his boss telling him that they’ve got a tower of shrimp with his name on it. As he is driving to the restaurant he notices a car behind him. He comes to an abrupt stop and gets out of the car. As he is walking towards the mysterious car, it speeds off taking Miles’ car door with it. Miles parks up at the restaurant and locks his car. Y’know, just in case. Ominous music plays as he enters TGI Friday’s. Clone Miles can be heard telling the same story he told at the party. Dan, who is drowning his sorrows, is shocked to see Miles. Miles approaches the table where Kate is holding on to Clone Miles. As Clone Miles gets to the end of the story, Miles comes in with the punchline. Kate drops her glass and everyone falls silent. Miles says it must be funnier when Clone Miles tells it.