Made For Love – I Want a New Life

By: Jennifer Vintzileos

Prior to Hazel’s (Cristin Milioti) marriage and later intense hatred towards her husband Byron (Billy Magnussen), she spent her time making money at the local college scamming college students with a bogus. This time she uses a Gogol Phone 5 raffle in order to pay a parking ticket. Unbeknownst to her, Byron watched her from a distance as she cleans up her earnings and quickly exits the quad to count her money. When finally at a safe distance from prying eyes, Hazel gets a phone call from Byron where he reminds her that the Gogol Phone 5 is not even released yet.

She is startled by the knowledge that Byron knows about her and when she drops her earnings on the ground, Byron enters the picture to help her pick it all up. Instead of being angry Byron admires that Hazel is tenacious and has what it takes to succeed, inviting her to join him for dinner in “Rome” tonight. Hazel accepts the invitation and shows up to mobile cube in the green dress from the first episode.

In present-day, Hazel wakes up in Herbert’s (Ray Romano) home and starts to get ready for the day. Even though Hazel has barely been there for a couple days, Herbert presents her with a bill and advises her that in his house she will pay her way and respect Diane. To further agitate her father, she goads him for making food for Diane while making Hazel earn every bit of her stay. Hazel eats Diane’s breakfast in an act of semi-defiance as Herbert adds the meal to the bill. During this time Byron continues to watch Hazel as he now sits with Bennett (Caleb Foote) going over various smells that he intends to place in Hazel’s new smell cube.

To get the money to her father for her room and board, Hazel decides to turn to her old tricks. She stands outside of a yoga class collecting cell phones. Claiming that it is for “digital detox” prior to the class, Hazel succeeds in snagging four phones before taking them to the local pawn shop. The owner (Brandon Morales) pays her for them and she almost manages to get out of the shop unscathed—until her old friend Bangles (Patti Harrison) comes out from the back to greet her.

Ten years ago Hazel borrowed the green dress from her friend Bangles for her date and had every intention to return it. Unfortunately, that was not the case and since that was a final project for Bangles’s college class she failed out of college and hit several rough patches along the way. Hazel tries to explain to Bangles what has happened, but before she can Bennett enters the pawn shop with new smells for Hazel’s smell cube. Realizing that Hazel needs to explain what happened, Bangles manages to scare Bennett away and head back to where Hazel is staying for an explanation.

Hazel and Bangles go back to the trailer and proceed to start getting drunk and high. Byron and Bennett watch the scene unfold, Byron is pretty sure that Hazel doesn’t want to return to the life she once knew. However, Byron also realizes that in order to understand Hazel even more, he will need to experience things like getting drunk. Bennett offers to help and the two walk off to start drinking beer. Back with Hazel and Bangles, Bangles decides to taunt Byron by flashing him but quickly straightens up when Herbert enters the room. Instead, Bangles reminds Hazel of the secret language they created as kids and tells Hazel that she may know a lawyer they can use for the divorce. Herbert interjects using the same created language, which startles the women.

During their beer drinking and bonding, Byron worries Bennett enough for him to call Fiffany (Noma Dumezweni), who earlier reached out to Herringbone (Dan Bakkedahl) about an even bigger dilemma than Hazel: Zelda is currently missing. Pretending to show concern, Fiffany listens to Byron go on about being ready to get chipped for the second portion of the Made For Love project if Hazel refuses to return in forty-eight hours. Fiffany protests this move, knowing that it will kill Hazel if both are chipped.

Back at their first date, Hazel is finishing off dessert when Byron asks her about what she wants in life. Anything she wants at the snap of her fingers, she can have it. At first Hazel asks for a million dollars and with a snap checks her bank account to see that she indeed has a few more commas in her dollar amount. Emboldened by the thought of having anything, Hazel starts to ask for them to travel to various places around the world, from the Eiffel Tower to Egypt. Once transported back by Byron, Hazel listens to Byron with rapt attention as he is ready to offer her the world—granted that she marries him.

Confused by the gesture, Hazel reminds Byron that they don’t know one another. Byron may know everything about Hazel, yet she knows nothing about him. Reminding her that that is the most exciting part and that Hazel deserves to have happiness and a new life, Hazel agrees to marry him and join him at the cube. The mobile cube drives on down the street, taking Hazel to her new life at the compound. In present day, Byron is told that if he were to get chipped that it would kill Hazel within eleven seconds, something that Byron is willing to do if Hazel doesn’t want to return. That way, she will live in his memory.