Man With a Plan – Hotel Hanky Panky

By: Ujjyani Banerjee

Adam (Matt LeBlanc) is looking forward to a night of lovemaking with Andi (Liza Snyder) and is excited as it’s been fifteen days. He pats on some Old Spice and goes up to the bedroom only to find Teddy (Matthew McCann) sitting next to Andi afraid to sleep alone. Andi blames it on Adam letting him watch Night at the Elm Street as it’s definitely not her switch to 2% milk that’s scaring the bejesus out of Teddy. She puts off all plans for the night leaving Adam bummed.

Adam releases his frustration on a bag of chips that he’s struggling to tear open. Don (Kevin Nealon) and Lowell (Matt Cook) declare he’s in crisis after Lowell neatly tears it off. Don reveals that Marcy (Kali Rocha) spilled the beans after they completed their own lovemaking session, which is running a golden streak while Lowell says he’s learning Mandarin to cope with his post-divorce celibacy. Just then Joe (Stacy Keach) walks in and he’s up to date, too. He suggests Adam take Andi on a hotel getaway where they could have their “we” time while he and Bev (Swoosie Kurtz) would look after the three tiny beer-grabbers. Don wants to babysit, but Adam never allows and he wonders why. Adam asks Don where his keys are. He’s got no idea. Adam shrugs inferring the obvious reason why he’s scared to leave his kids with him, but Don says he really loves them. Given Joe just called them beer-grabbers, Adam decides to give Don a chance.

Adam reveals his getaway plan to Andi who’s initially apprehensive as she wants to earn something from their flip house first. Adam tells her that this trip would be against a gift card and that she needn’t worry. Glancing at the card, she remembers it from the hotel that had bed bugs. Adam’s sure it’s clean now, just like how restaurants go on sterile benders after rat problems. That reminds him that he also has a restaurant gift card!

They go to inform Kate (Grace Kaufman) that she and her siblings will be spending a night at Uncle Don’s. Kate wants to stay alone as she feels she’s old enough. Andi concurs. Adam disagrees as he feels that their daughter, who has the same beer chugging and mechanical bull-riding DNA as theirs, cannot be trusted. Andi feels otherwise given their daughter’s a good student and an obedient good girl. Ultimately, Adam agrees to allow Kate to stay alone when Andi asks him to choose between this and adult hotel stuff.

As they leave for their getaway Adam hurriedly gives instructions to Kate. She asks if she can have two friends from her Spanish class over. Adam says no and rushes out. Andi gives her daughter the green signal and follows Adam out. They soon reach the hotel. Andi’s waiting for Adam. When he comes out of the restroom generously emanating Old Spice vibes she greets him with a “Howdy Cowboy.” She gets an “Ooh, Old West Prostitute” in return, but apparently she’s “Pioneer Woman” for the night! Things start heating up, but Adam repeatedly gets interrupted by the thoughts of bed bugs crawling underneath. He suggests going back home as their bedroom’s empty they could arrange mini-bar snacks and steal their own shampoos in the morning. Andi gives Kate a head ups text and packs up.

Kate’s mortified when she receives the text as the house is now a party riddled with teenagers and beer cans. She makes them leave immediately, dumps all beer cans in trash, turbo-cleans the house and makes it look exactly like before. Adam and Andi arrive. While Andi’s relieved, Adam rushes upstairs.. Well, almost! He turns back to get mini-bar snacks from the pantry and there he finds a teenage couple canoodling in their closet.

Adam is super mad. Kate apologizes, but mentions that she only invited two friends and the rest gatecrashed upon learning about the party. It doesn’t make it better for Adam as he had asked her to stay the night alone and she disobeyed him. He grounds her. Kate reveals mom said she could. Andi tries vanishing into thin air.

Meanwhile, Don peppily goes to his bedroom to continue his personalized streak and is surprised to find Teddy sitting with Marcy, afraid to sleep alone. Marcy is fine with the streak being over, but Don is not. He asks Teddy to accompany him on a ride. Cut to Teddy and Emme (Hala Finley) standing in front of Joe’s house. Don rings the doorbell and sneaks out. Joe opens the door and realizes what might’ve happened, especially after spotting Don trying to run away.

Adam is annoyed that Andi went rogue allowing Kate to have a party. Andi, in her defense, says she never said okay to a party. Rather she just allowed Kate to have some friends over. She also points out that he went rogue first when he made Teddy watch the scary movie. It turns out that both did exactly what the other half explicitly told not to do. Adam decides to enroll Emme in boxing classes. He can’t wait to see her spit a tooth into a bucket. Andi retaliates by wanting to enroll Teddy for rhythmic gymnastics class where he’d dance and twirl ribbons around. Just then Teddy, Emme, Joe and Bev come in. Teddy reveals how Uncle Don ditched them at Joe’s. Emme is ecstatic that they got four beers for grandpa. Joe and Bev realize they’ve interrupted a fight. Adam and Andi complain about each other’s doings. Joe supports Andi as Don and Adam always partied when he and Bev left town. He also relates this fight to the one that he and Bev had over Bev’s decision to perm Adam’s hair. Apparently, Adam looked like a Jackson Five original member with a perm so big that a bird once got stuck in it. Joe and Bev walk out the house arguing while Andi is in splits. Adam is embarrassed. They eventually settle their differences and apologize for going rogue. Andi asks if he still has some pictures of him with that perm hairdo. Adam does not. She says it’s unfortunate as he’d have gotten lucky at night if he did. Adam springs up to get the pictures leaving his wife blushing.

The Next day Adam is cheerier than ever. Lowell and Don realize that tables have turned since they last met. Don; however, had a bad night. It seems “sex over family” was a big turnoff for Marcy who started listing all the other things about Don that are turnoffs and it was a long list. Lowell extends his sympathies as he can totally relate, given his new celibate status. Seeing Adam try open a packet of chips, Lowell offers to open it for him and starts manically hitting the packet. Adam calms him down while commenting how some guys just can’t handle droughts!