Man With a Plan – The V-Word

By: Ujjyani Banerjee

Adam (Matt LeBlanc) has brought scented candles to the bedroom as he’s excited to have sex with Andi (Liza Snyder) after she sent him a naughty text message earlier in the day. Andi; however, has a bad headache which hasn’t gone away despite two cups of coffee after dinner. The next day, while Andi makes a visit to the doctor, we see Adam, Lowell (Matt Cook) and Don (Kevin Nealon) do their work meeting amidst candles indoors. While Lowell loves the romantic touch, Don gets the feeling of being at a seance with grandpa’s soul lurking around. Adam is desperate to use all those things he couldn’t utilize the night before, including whipped cream. Andi returns from the doctor and demands privacy. Lowell, Don and Joe (Stacy Keach) take leave. Andi reveals to Adam that she’s been asked not to take birth control pills anymore as her headaches are related to hormonal imbalance. Both hate the diagnosis as neither can they keep their hands off each other nor can they afford to put another Burns through college. For a moment, Adam wonders if the lurking soul is behind all this.

A few nights later Andi is ready to have sex as she’s feeling better from not having the pills. Adam gets under the sheets but is too scared and rushes to find a condom. He runs down, sifts through a chunk of his single-life crap, gets hold of one and and runs back upstairs completely out of breath. They do it but the next day the couple continues to gripe about how different and less enjoyable it was. They decide to look for other solutions and until then promise to keep their hands to themselves. A week later Adam confesses that he’s feeling terrible as every action of Andi is turning him on. Andi is miserable, too. Adam wishes he put on a better show the last time they did it. Lowell comes over to discuss work. Adam and Andi dejectedly take their seats. Realizing their flirty and miserable conditions, Lowell begs them to resume fooling around for his sake. He wishes he could take this matter to HR but, sadly, he is the HR here. When Adam stresses on the seriousness of it, Lowell suggests a vasectomy. Andi is intrigued while Adam is thwarted. He says he needs time to think and get some information from an expert before arriving at a decision. He speaks to Lowell in private and verbally eviscerates him for using the V-Word in front of Andi since now he won’t see the end of it. Lowell feels bad for having gotten himself involved. Adam doesn’t let him reenter the house. Andi, meanwhile, decides to talk to her friend Janet whose husband underwent the procedure.

Joe, Don, Adam and Lowell meet for drinks later. Lowell has been made to sit alone. Adam decides to allow Lowell to join their table only if he refrains from using the technical word and gives it a new name like “Lowell’s terrible idea.” As an alternative protection method, Joe suggests the rhythm approach that they used to practice, which only failed twice… when Don and Adam were conceived. Don suggests the “lady on top” approach which allows gravity to do the work. Adam is surprised at how Don doesn’t have twenty kids. Lowell calls it “Don’s terrible idea” until Adam points at his cockiness. Adam remembers about their old dog Rex who lost his willingness to live after he was fixed and eventually died by choice. The group brainstorms and finally decides that Adam should pretend to be interested in getting information from the doctor, do his homework and then say no to the procedure. That way Andi will be assured that he at least considered the idea. Lowell hates being seen as the bad guy and utters “vasectomy” by mistake, which sends him back to exile. The next day Adam and Andi go to the clinic. Andi’s proud of her husband. Soon, Adam is in a patient gown and Andi finds that hot. She’s sure that the temporary abstinence has made her go crazy. Nurse Liz (Sai Lang) calls them in. Andi wonders if her husband is feeling nervous. Adam says no as it’s just a consultation. The nurse adds that the doctor is so good that many get the procedure done during consultation. Andi remembers how that was the case with Janet’s husband, too. Adam looks flabbergasted and flees out the emergency exit.

Andi gets home looking for Adam and finds him hiding in their closet sipping beer. Apparently, he opened the door with his hidden knife. Andi needs an explanation. Adam admits that he was scared and just pretending to like Lowell’s idea this whole time. He adds that vasectomy would take out his purpose of living, which is to pass on his good genes. Andi is confused as they already have kids and wonders if he’s implying that he’d want kids with someone else if she were to die. Adam corrects her that if the world were to end and only he were to remain alive with five other young women, he’d be needed to repopulate the earth. Andi looks mad and is curious to know how old Adam himself would survive the apocalypse. Adam is confident that he can survive anything, thanks to his knife. Adam finally admits that undergoing vasectomy would make him feel less of a man. Andi assures him that she’d never force him to do what he is not okay with and he would never be less of a man to her. Adam admits to having overreacted at the clinic. Both decide to watch Andi’s favorite TV show, but Adam warns her to not hug him during her favorite scenes as it could lead to them having a fourth kid. The next day Adam and Lowell are working. Adam is frustrated and compares himself to a racehorse stuck in a barn. Lowell relates to his plight as he too needs some action every two years otherwise he feels like he missed something, similar to the Olympics. Andi comes rushing in after getting a positive report from her doctor. Lowell is driven out as usual. Andi shares that the headaches were apparently from too much coffee and have no relation to her pills or hormones. Adam is relieved. Both rush upstairs to celebrate immediately. Andi has already taken care of her pills and their kids and Adam carries his gown for a roleplay where Andi could be a nurse and he’d be a guy who’s just come out of coma and has forgotten how to have sex!