Modern Family – Thanksgiving Jamboree

By: Paige Zinaman

When the episode starts we see Cam (Eric Stonestreet) opening the door dressed as a cowboy as he welcomes Claire (Julie Bowen), Phil (Ty Burrell), Luke (Nolan Gould), Alex (Ariel Winter) and their former neighbor Jerry (Matt Besser) who had gone through a brutal divorce so they thought he should spend Thanksgiving with a “happy functional family” which they couldn’t find so he was stuck with them. When Gloria (Sofia Vergara), Jay (Ed O’Neill), Manny (Rico Rodriguez) and Joe (Jeremy McGuire) show up Claire notices the blood pressure watch on his arm. He complains about it to which Claire asks if he’s alright and Gloria replies that he needs to quit smoking cigars and eating junk food. Jay says that as soon as the thing goes off he starts listening to 70’s Soft Rock to calm down. When Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) comes out of the kitchen dressed in overalls and a straw hat and talking like a southern, Jay’s monitor goes off causing him to walk away singing. Claire questions Mitchell as to why he’s on board with Cam’s Thanksgiving Jamboree asking questions so Mitchell asks Claire if she wants a mason jar of Chardonnay. With more questions from Claire, he admits he did something really bad causing Claire to ask if it was infidelity. Meanwhile, Alex is sitting on her own by the window with an apparent case of Mono when Dwight (Winston Duke) walks over and sits by her. As the two talk, Cam comes over telling Alex that Dwight has a most important game the following week and that Alex can’t be getting him sick. She tells Cam she’s over the Mono, but he doesn’t want to risk it and puts a bandana around her mouth and nose like an old time bank robber. We see Haley (Sarah Hyland) make her appearance with her boyfriend Rainer Shine (Nathan Fillion) being charming as ever while wearing white gloves due to Korean laser accident. It is then that we get to see Phil trying to get rid of Rainer only to have Haley tell them that Rainer’s daughter is with her mom and that she invited him to have Thanksgiving at their home, much to Phil’s displeasure. When Phil asks Rainer for the weather for the next day he proceeds to tell Rainer that is when they have their big family football game. Rainer says he and Haleyare flying out to Cabo the next day as well unbeknownst to Phil.

Cam lets everyone know that there is a petting zoo in the backyard and Jay’s monitor once again goes off. Leading everyone outside, Joe gets super excited as Gloria holds onto his hand. She mentions that Cam has a scarecrow made to look just like Mitch, but Cam admits his mom sent it to him from Missouri. Once he gets a good look he admits that he must also have a type. Luke notices that there is a camera on a goat’s head and Cam answers with, “It’s there to capture everyone’s delight” and he calls it “GoatPro.” When Gloria takes Joe up to the goat it decides to make a nose at that moment causing Joe to say he’s scared. Gloria tries to calm him down by saying that is the goat’s way of saying I love you. She proceeds to say she cannot have another son that is afraid of animals. Meanwhile, Haley tells Rainer she still hasn’t told her parents yet about their trip that her mom would be cool that it’s just her dad. Rainer says he’ll tell them because he’s good at delivering bad news with a smile. As he makes his way over to tell Phil his explanation gets fumbled making Phil think it is a trip for Rainer and him.

As Gloria gets Joe to finally pet and interact with the goat, we see Phil talking to Claire as he tells her he is plotting to get Haley to stay with them instead of going to Cabo by reminding her just how much fun their family football game really is. Claire says she hopes it goes better than his last attempt. Phil tries everything to get Haley to stay going as far as to say the water is better where they are instead of Cabo to which Haley says it’s a five-star resort that they would be fine. Phil puts on house slippers to find them filled with scorpions. Meanwhile, we see Jay over at the snack table with a bowl full of chips when Lily (Aubrey Anderson-Emmons) clears her throat. She says he’s not allowed to eat them with his blood pressure, but Lily takes the bowl from him and into the kitchen. When Cam tries to get Jay to square dance it finally pushes Jay to the point that he goes to the pharmacy to get aspirin. Phil wants to go with him because apparently no one needs a reason to leave their family. Jerry wants to go too because he is out of Ramen and Xanax. Claire walks into the kitchen she immediately puts her head down when she sees Mitchell with his back turned, churning butter. She says that whatever he did to Cam can’t be so bad he should be suffering through this. Mitchell confesses he gave Cam’s Fizbo costume away only to have Claire say that Cam will kill everyone in the house. Cam will never believe that Mitchell gave it away by accident. When Cam walks in with a baby pig in his arms Mitchell proceeds to tell him (much to Claire’s warnings of “think of the children”) that he gave away the Fizbo costume. Claire grabs the pitchfork for safety reasons. Cam surprises both of them when he acts like he is completely okay with it saying he forgives Mitchell. He brushes it off saying he has a turkey to fire when Mitchell says he married the sweetest man on earth Claire says that he has probably done something worse and wants Mitchell in a good mood before telling him. When we see Alex again she is sitting outside. When Dwight walks up she rushes to cover her face only to have him say that he doesn’t care what Cam says. Dwight flirts with Alex and she tells him that even though Dwight is very tall he is still in high school and she’s in college. At the pharmacy, we see Phil still upset that Haley is leaving and Jerry seeing his wife’s divorce lawyer. When Jerry points him out Jay recognizes him as his ex’s lawyer. Jerry makes the comment they should leave because he’s already ruined his family and that he shouldn’t ruin his Thanksgiving too. Phil stops them saying that it is time for someone to stand up to the people who sweep into their lives and breakup their family and take their daughters to Cabo. Jay agrees because the lawyer is the reason behind Jay’s high blood pressure telling Jerry and Phil to hold him down and he’ll beat him with an orthopedic shoe.

Back at Thanksgiving party, Joe is hugging the goat which he has now named Mr. Goat much to Gloria’s delight. When Joe runs to get the goat a blanket Cam brings the turkey out to deep fry it. He notices Alex and Dwight kissing and yells “Mono!” He drops the turkey only to have the goat run into the gate thinking it was the barn and die. Back the pharmacy Jay, Jerry and Phil confront the lawyer who has caused their lives distress and insult him. The lawyer gets all smug and mentions all things their money has bought him saying that “ladies leave losers.” Before he can finish his insults, the lawyer grabs at his chest and falls to the ground while Jay’s monitor goes off again. Phil runs to the back with a store worker carrying a defibrillator telling Phil to use it while he calls for help. Phil asks for help because he fast forwards through the non-romantic stuff on “Grey’s Anatomy.” Jerry comes up behind Phil to help guide his hand when Phil tells Jay to get Jerry off him. Phil accidently shocks both himself and Jerry knocking them out. When the lawyer comes to he says he thinks it may have been gas only to have Jay say better safe than sorry and shocks him.

When everyone tries to figure out what to do with the goat Cam asks Alex how many goats have to die. Dwight says that it was his fault and Rainer tells him that they are good looking guys and they don’t have to apologize. It is this moment Joe comes running back with a blanket in his arms as Gloria intercepts him covering his eyes. Joe asks why he doesn’t hear Mr. Goat anymore and Gloria says he’s fine and leans out the door to make a goat sound to prove the goat is fine. Lily comes in as Cam and Gloria are talking, asking if they put the goat in the garbage or throw it over the fence. We see Gloria carrying the goat to the dumpster when Joe catches her. Mitchell asks why Cam is so understanding and is told a story about how he just wants to spend time with family while not mentioning he paid for the jamboree with money they were going to use for Hawaii. When Jay gets back to the house he puts a cigar in his mouth to have an upset Joe come running to him. Joe tells him he loved Mr. Goat and he died so he asks Jay to please not smoke. Jay tells him not to worry that he’s not going anywhere.

As the episode comes to an end, Phil and Haley have a moment and he tells Haley to go to Cabo, but they end up coming up with an idea. They are going to play football that day instead of the next when Phil tackles Rainer just because. Mitchell and Cam finally talk when Mitchell says he is counting down the days to Hawaii. Cam finally comes clean about why he was so okay with the whole Fizbo thing.