Mom – Crazy Hair and a Teeny Tiny Part of Canada

By starrymag | May 16, 2019

By: Sammi Turano

 

 

The episode opens with Bonnie (Allison Janney) and Adam (William Fichtner) driving to Reno to get a vintage jukebox. Bonnie is questioning if it is a real deal or a scam. Adam wonders what kind of scam it could be….someone making them drive for three hours to steal their time? Bonnie says she pulled a scam where she pretended to sell stereo speakers 78 times, but would give people bricks and sand. The real ones are in their living room.

 

Adam says she scares her and Bonnie says each relationship needs one scary person. He brings up getting married and wonders when they are getting married. He wants to set a date and worries that she doesn’t want to get married. She says that if they weren’t going to get the jukebox they could get married today. He says they are passing chapels and pulls into one next to an Arby’s, making her comment that she always wanted to get married next to one. He thinks she will use that as an excuse to bail out, but she says she won’t.

 

At the meeting the ladies are cleaning up when Tammy (Kristen Johnston) complains to Jill (Jaime Pressly) that Marjorie (Mimi Kennedy) left her a note to remind her to put away the milk. She says she didn’t mean the “XO” she left and that the cats can’t write so who else could it be from. She adds that the cats would probably want the milk out.  She wishes Marjorie would just talk to her and asks if she is scared. Jill says no and rushes over to hug Christy (Anna Faris) for her sober birthday. Christy says it is six years of her waking up where she thought she would. Marjorie remembers her first meeting and Christy asks her not to tell the vomit in the purse story. Marjorie says it is tradition. Jill explains it makes her feel better about herself and to save the story for the party.

 

Wendy (Beth Hall) asks if she is taking a cake today and Christy says she is waiting for Bonnie to come back because it is too important to do without her. Marjorie remembers her only wanting Bonnie there so she can angrily share. Christy says the trick was to share after so Bonnie couldn’t give a rebuttal. Wendy says Bonnie once bribed her with tic tacs to call on her and he once did it for orange.

 

Nora (Yvette Nicole Brown) comes in and asks how Tammy is doing. Tammy tries to complain, but Nora reminds her that she woke up, is sober and has a job and friends so she is amazing. Tammy wishes that were on a post it.

 

Christy gives Nora a thank you card, while Nora gives Christy a congratulations card. Christy jokes that they can keep them for next year and Nora sits her down to tell her she got a new job and is moving to Minneapolis. Christy freaks out and Nora says she is leaving right away and that is a huge opportunity. She reminds Christy that she cannot depend on her for her sobriety and she is going to be fine. They hug and Christy says it makes her so much worse.

 

At the chapel, Bonnie and Adam rush through their ceremony and Bonnie rushes out with an, “I told you I’d marry you.”

 

Nora is telling everyone about the move and her new job as well as forgetting to tell her husband. Christy inwardly sings herself the happy birthday song, changing the words to “everybody feel sorry for me and everybody leaves Christy.”

 

On the way home, Bonnie is eating Arby’s and says this is how she pictured it. She said she was probably hungry before, making Adam think they got married because she was hangry. She says that there are five times a sandwich changed her life, including having Christy. They gush about getting married and discuss having seminars and writing books with sassy forewards and stealing from church pamphlets. Adam once again says his wife is scary and all she heard was “my wife.”

 

At the house Jill complains about cold food and too much lasagna. Wendy and Marjorie tell each other that they both told the other they were bringing lasagna. Tammy says the problem could have been solved with post it notes. Marjorie mentions that she only reminds people of things they need to be reminded about.

 

Jill says she cancelled a massage for this and tells Christy to change the subject. She confesses she hates herself and Jill tries to get the massage back. Christy says she handled things badly and focused on how Nora’s news effected her. Tammy asserts that is focusing on bad feelings over good luck, using a German phrase she learned from her cellmate. Christy wants to be happy for Nora, but is focusing on her feelings. Jill says it reminds her of when she was in beauty pageants and had to pretend to be happy for others while wondering why she slept with the judge.

 

Marjorie tells Christy to act better than she feels. Wendy says she did that with the lasagna debacle. Jill tells her to flash the Vaseline smile and explains that it is used in pageants so your lips don’t stick. She adds she used hemorrhoid cream for her eyes. She once mixed them up and ended up with tiny lips and a shiny face when drunk.

 

Bonnie and Adam come home and announce that they got married. Christy wonders about the wedding as Adam and Bonnie act lovey dovey.

 

The ladies  go shopping for a wedding gift. Tammy comments on how things look different without post its. Wendy wants to get Bonnie and Adam an Instapot, but Christy thinks that is too nice. Jill complains that she got a nice outfit for the wedding and says she will never wear it because no one she knows is ever getting married, which offends the other women.  Tammy says she could now never shove cake in Adam’s face. Jill says the bride does that and Tammy says she know who is who.

 

Christy says she was supposed to give Bonnie away and says she as been waiting to do that.  She picks out chip clips for the gift and says they all owe her 75 cents. Marjorie says she deserves to be a bridesmaid or recite a poem because Bonnie and Adam are together because of her. She says she is acting better than she feels while Tammy runs to find free samples.

 

Christy celebrates with her group and thanks them in her share. She says she waited for Bonnie and lets out her anger. Bonnie asks Marjorie if she can believe this and she says to wait until she hears hers.

 

Bonnie is enjoying her chip clips and says she thinks they are a game changer despite being a gift of spite. Christy says she was hurt because they went through so much together and wanted to share in something wonderful with her. Bonnie says that she didn’t think anyone would care and Christy tells her they love her and want to be a part of her life. Bonnie apologizes and says she can be at the next wedding. Christy says she wants to be the next to get married.

 

Bonnie tells Adam about how much everyone wanted to be at the wedding and are upset they missed it. They argue and he says he will marry her again tomorrow if it will shut her up. The next day they have a wedding with Marjorie officiating, Christy giving Bonnie away and Wendy playing the recorder. Bonnie says she has something old, something new, something borrowed and something weird.  Jill wishes she had tissues. Tammy hands her some and says Marjorie left her a note to remember them. Marjorie says they are there to witness a miracle.

 

The episode ends with Wendy and Marjorie both bringing lasagna, each of them claiming it is their signature dish. Wendy plays the recorder as the happy couple enters. Bonnie says they have a song picked out and says she and Adam have to talk about their last name.

 

Christy tells Marjorie she is genuinely happy for her mom and Adam and Marjorie agrees to be her sponsor as everyone celebrates.