Preacher – End of the World

By: Kelly Kearney

The clock strikes zero and that means…IT’S SHOWTIME AT THE APOCALYPSE REVUE! As the fate of the world hangs in the balance, everyone is tied up in a violent battle to either usher in the end of days or stop God’s deadly chaos before it can destroy the world.

This is the End…

With nine minutes and counting on the rapture clock, the Grail takes over the airwaves so that all of humanity can take part in the fabulous Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter) floor show. Unfortunately, the man of the hour seems to be suffering from a case of stage fright. No worries! Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) is there to make sure his buddy Hump dances his way into the apocalypse. It does pose the question, which Cassidy brings up with God (Mark Harelik), as to why the almighty has chosen this grand performance when he could just blow the whole planet up himself. What fun would that be? God is all about free will and says, “That’s cheating. You all have to play your part.”  Apparently, God likes to watch and isn’t keen on getting his hands dirty unless he has to.

While Cass is hanging out with the Messiah, Jesse (Dominic Cooper) is going twelve rounds with The Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) and he is determined to make Genesis pay for the death of his family. Luckily for Jesse, Genesis parents The Archangel (David Field) and Demon (Sue-Ellen Shook), show up to protect their child from the bullet blasting cowboy who wants this abomination dead. Speaking of dead, Featherstone’s (Julie Ann Emery) love for Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) is on life support after he admitted that he had no intention of dying in the apocalypse. Faith in the Grail and its leader was the one thing she had going for her. After a lifetime of bad choices and rotten men, Featherstone is broken by Starr’s admission. Teary eyed, she recounts her days before she found solace in the grail to Tulip, an unlikely confidant. “I was lost. Until I met Klaus,” she says. Tulip listens to the woman’s regrets and remains still as she watches Featherstone put a gun under her own chin saying, “When the righteous lays down with the wicked, this is what they get.” The distraught woman pulls the trigger, but the gun never goes off and that’s when we learn Featherstone’s first name is Sarah and not Flufferman, much to the dismay of her boss. “Sarah, you can’t do nothing right,” she says, as she plops herself down in a chair and hangs her head in shame. She hands Tulip her gun, who clears the chamber and offers the woman a piece of advice on doing what’s right for her, regardless of faith, religion and men. Tulip sees self-preservation as not something that is inherently selfish, but something that sets us on the path to righteousness. She decides to keep the gun, knowing that Sarah is suicidal, which is a total switch for these two arch nemesis who tried to kill each other for three seasons.

Meanwhile, all hell is breaking loose in Masada with everyone fighting. First, Klaus Starr goes to war with his fax machine now that his updated plans seem to have been lost in the apocalyptic shuffle. Jesus (Tyson Ritter) and Hitler (Noah Taylor) go full WrestleMania in the Grail offices.  Jesse is also doing battle with the Saint while God is sitting in the Apocalypse Revue’s audience just counting down the minutes until the big show.

It’s Showtime…

As the clock strikes zero it’s time for Humperdoo to dance, but the Messiah refuses to go on and Cassidy is not having it. While trying to convince him to hit the stage, Tulip shows up and can’t believe Cassidy is going along with God’s plans. The two start to argue and it turns violent with Tulip promising to kill Cassidy to ensure humanity lives. Cue the comic book style three-way split screen, showcasing everyone fighting – Jesus and Hitler, Jesse and the Saint, Klaus and the fax machine and now Tulip and Cassidy. The clock ticks down to zero and in the chaos of war Humperdoo hides from his responsibilities and puts the apocalypse is on hold.

Down under in New Zealand, Arseface’s (Ian Colletti) post prison life is going as well as can be expected. After getting run down by a car he suffered some facial injuries that required cosmetic surgery. When the bandages come off it’s revealed that his face looks exactly the same, much to the horror and dismay of his plastic surgeon. The doctor then offers Eugene the unthinkable -a way for him to end his disappointing and disfigured life. Arseface does not take the doctor up on his offer of euthanasia because our pal is more than his looks. His deformity does not define him and the worst part of this life has been the pity he gets from people like the doctor.  Eugene story ends on a positive note when we see him jamming out on his guitar and finally getting the recognition he deserves. The punk rock life will embrace Areseface’s grotesque face and the kind teen who went to hell and back will finally find his place in this world.

Back at the Apocalypse revue the fighting is at an all time high, but eventually comes to a tragic end yet not the one God had planned. First, we see Featherstone catch up with Herr Starr and while holding a gun on him she orders the Allfather to get on the tarp because she’s going to kill him. Klaus does his best to defuse the situation by sweet talking the woman to put down the gun. When it’s clear he’s not getting anywhere, he reaches for a hidden gun and shoots Featherstone in the head! As the woman falls to the floor, Klaus runs off to hide from the apocalypse in a submarine. Later, we find out the Pensacola police finally caught up to Klaus, but once again he managed to slip away after killing the cops during a round of golf. After all the abuse Herr Starr took, he finally got his happy ending. Too bad the same couldn’t be said for Featherstone/Flufferman who definitely deserved better than she got.

Next up Jesse’s fight with The Saint comes to an end when the Preacher kills the cowboy, but the death we find out later is not what it seems. Also, Tulip and Cass’s fight ends when The Grail comes looking for Humperdoo. The white suits are at the dressing room door and Cass realizes he can no longer protect the Messiah at the cost of every living thing on earth. With that realization, Humperdoo is shot in the head, ensuring the end to God’s insidious plans. With no Humperdoo there’s no Apocalypse, so God tries to appeal to Jesus as the runner up to the Messiah’s dance off. Only Jesus is tired of being God’ s second best. And after he just killing Hitler, he is no mood to be manipulated by his father. He turns God down, who winds up jumping on his motorcycle in a huff and taking off to parts unknown. Later, we see Jesus is working in customer service at a big box store, a certain kind of Hell that the son of God seems to be enjoying.

This leaves Jesse with an impatient Grail, desperate for the end of the world floor show. The Preacher hits the stage and in his booming Genesis voice he orders the TV viewers to turn off their sets. In that moment Humperdoo steps out on the stage, seemingly fine after his bullet to the head! That’s when Jesse tells the Grail that God has once again abandoned them and it will be their job to go find him. With the threat of the apocalypse behind them and all their enemies dead (minus that coward Starr), we see Jesse, Tulip and Cass, exit stage left. They saved the world…for now anyway.

We Meet Again…

The series ends in two flashforwards, the first finding Tulip and Jesse two years after we last saw them. The couple is back together and doing what they love – committing crimes and looking cool while doing them. Jesse still has the power of Genesis, but he isn’t using it as freely as he did before. The couple also now own a legitimate business in O’Hare’s Auto Repair Shop run by the bar owner who helped Tulip infiltrate the Grail. Their business isn’t the only big change in their lives, now Tulip and Jesse have a baby daughter! They finally have what they’ve always wanted – a family, a purpose…but what about their friend Cassidy? Well, it seems the vampire took off to do his own thing. Mainly, peyote festivals with Woody Harrelson, really anything that keeps his mind off the fact his best friend and the love of his life are together. He does check in with them occasionally until one day Jesse gets a message from the Grail that they found God. Jesse, armed with Genesis, takes off to the Alamo where God’s been hiding out.

When the Preacher and the creator do finally meet, the two sit down for a long overdue chat which consists mostly of Jesse asking God questions. Maybe it’s because God is over his anger towards humans or maybe his girlfriend softened him up, but he’s willing to give Jesse some insight into what human existence is all about. We learn that all religions are righteous and worthy, aliens do not exist and Jesse’s father managed to go to heaven, even after Jesse had assumed he condemned the man to Hell. Jesse also learns that Genesis does indeed have power over God, something he wasn’t prepared to use on his creator before. Now, he sees it as a chance he can’t pass up, especially when he learns that all of this chaos was over the simple fact God is desperate for humans to love him. He asks (well, almost begs) Jesse to prove his love for him, but the Preacher laughs and refuses. God comes off as pathetic and Jesse all but calls him such. Looking down on the very being that created him, Jesse unleashes Genesis leaving God crawling on the ground in a crying mess. Jesse walks away from the encounter with a better understanding of his faith and its purpose. He has a family to care for now and God isn’t worth risking that. In one last effort to stop Jesse from abandoning him, God claims he’s created something even more glorious than mankind. It’s his teeth clashing octopus like creatures he’s kept caged in his rusted-out RV. In what can only be described as holy justice, God’s tentacled creation turns on him for him not loving them enough. God survives the attack from his needy caged babies long enough to head back to heaven where he’s met by The Saint of Killers! We quickly learn the Saint gave Jesse a death bed confession and accepted his fate, which in turn kept him out of hell. The cowboy landed in heaven and has been waiting for God to show his bearded mug ever since. In an instant, the Saint pulls out his gun and shoots God in the head and then climbs up onto his throne! His job is done and now his family can have the peace he promised he would give them.

Goodbye and Thanks for the Memories…

Finally, the end comes forty years later when we see Cassidy standing with Jesse and Tulip’s daughter (played by a wig wearing Ruth Negga) at his friend’s burial site. Their daughter has a good life; a successful job and a few kids of her own. She appears to be happy, even with both her parents now dead. From their gravestones we learn that Jesse and Tulip died one year apart, but they never got to say goodbye to their dear friend Cassidy. That’s why the vampire is there, to give his friends a proper send off and maybe get to know their daughter a little bit. After the Custer offspring tells Cass that his mother always loved him, that truth cuts the Irishman deeply. It’s something he might have always known but to hear it from Tulip’s daughter is satisfying.  As the two say their goodbyes, it appears Cassidy is headed off on another adventure, but with the sun high in the sky he puts down his umbrella and burns to a crisp. In the end, Cassidy chose his own death rather than have death chase him across the planet for an eternity. It’s a bittersweet ending for the loyal vampire friend who always seemed to understand human nature better than the actual humans he loved so much. Without his best friend, his true love and the adventures that kept him feeling alive there’s nothing left for him now but a final resting place that he’s been craving for centuries.  The three best friends who saved the world from a narcissistic and petty God left this mortal coil with a job well done. Now their daughter is left with their legacy, one we can all hope she passes on to the next generation.