Preacher – Overture

By: Kelly Kearney

Now that the Messiah is back in Masada the Grail is buzzing with apocalyptic preparations. The countdown to the end is ticking and Tulip, Jesse and Cassidy have one final chance to rescue Humperdoo and stop God from killing all mankind.

Let the show begin!

When the episode opens Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) and Tulip (Ruth Negga) chat about revealing their relationship to the newly resurrected Jesse (Dominic Cooper). They both agree to stay quiet since Jesse has literally been through Hell, but in a split second Tulip changes her mind and spills the beans. Surprisingly, Jesse seems okay with it as he has bigger problems on his mind, namely the end of the world and how he plans to stop it. The three talk plans and Cass says they’re going to rescue his buddy Hump (Tyson Ritter) and, hopefully, throw a wrench in God’s (Mark Harelik) plans.

Speaking of the Messiah, he’s in Masada being cleansed and dressed in preparation for his big day. The Grail is in full pandemonium waiting for their Messiah to make his entrance and does he ever! Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) leads Humperdoo though a crowd of cheering white suits, all trying to catch a glimpse of the Holy Child. She’s literally kicking back elderly men from touching Humperdoo. The crowd is in utter mayhem, but all Hump can think about is the pastry table at the party in his honor. All of this is before the live and in color televised stage show meant to usher in the end times. While Hump sits in his dressing room waiting for his big moment, God emerges to check up on how the man of the hour is doing.

The final fight…

Meanwhile, Jesse, Cass and Tulip are making their way to Masada ready for one final fight with God and Tulip has a good feeling about it. The trip is long but, thankfully, Cass’s chatty Archangel (David Field) is there to give them a winged lift like some heavenly Uber. Cut to a real-life glimpse of how the world is unraveling and after a morning TV talk show ends in bloodshed the grail dominates the airwaves. It’s a countdown to their apocalyptic live show starring the new and handsomely improved Herr Starr, who announces the entertainment for the night. There are some jugglers, a female comedian, singers and then “when the clock hits zero, the Messiah will dance!” While the Grail is all packed into the theater to watch the show Tulip, Cass and Jesse sneak in undetected. The Archangel and the demon tell Jesse/Genesis (their child) to be careful before the three take off to settle this God stuff once and for all. Speaking of God, he is ranting at Hump about Caine and Abel when Jesus (Tyson Ritter) knocks on the door to wish them both good luck. God isn’t impressed at all, which really hits Jesus hard. He even tries one more time to please his father with his breakdance moves, but no amount of tricky spins can sway the creator from his Humperdoo loyalty.

Sing along with Arseface…

While God is preparing Humperdoo for his grand finale, our three heroes are kicking major Grail ass in a comic book style split screen. One by one the white suits fall until the three make their way to the theater. There’s just one problem as Cassidy has disappeared…again. Jesse and Tulip go off to find him because saving the world is a two-person, one vampire job.

Elsewhere, Arseface (Ian Colletti) is still in prison for killing Jesse and times are hard. Even the prison chaplain is awful. Luckily, he picked up a new hobby in the clink – jamming out on the guitar. His singing could use some work, but that’s to be expected considering the tunes are come from a blasted arsehole in his face. The good news is Jesse is alive so he’s getting out of jail! His dreams of being a rock star are within his reach, regardless of what that Debbie Downer priest says. Later, once Arseface is released, he tries his best to get noticed for his rocking skills only to be plowed down by a hit and run before he can make it big.

The temptations of Cassidy and Tulip…

In the basement of Masada Tulip and Jesse search the maze of the Grail’s lair, but God has Cassidy and his power is no match for the Preacher and O’Hare. God does his best to tempt Cass into turning on his friends with promises of a redo on his life – a “what if” scenario that finds him back in Ireland and into the loving arms of his Gran and family. A second chance is what God is offering, but he wants something in return. Jesse starts to worry if God vamp-napped Cass. After what he learned of God during his time in both Heaven and Hell, how arrogant and violent he is, there’s no telling what he could’ve done to their friend. Tulip is less worried because she knows Cass can take care of himself. She and Jesse have a moment while in the Masada elevator with her admitting she read his letter but then burning it up when she set the church on fire. The two exchange smiles before Jesse boosts her up the elevator shaft ahead of him.

Outside Hump’s dressing room Featherstone stands guard until Herr Starr (Pip Torrens) pops into brag about the stage show. Apparently, Paula Poundstone slayed the crowd with her jokes. Starr is chuffed and full of pride and Featherstone is weak for Allfather’s ego. After years of thirsting after her boss Starr finally takes notice of “Flufferton,” as he calls her, and cops a feel, calls her handsome and the two fall into bed!

Back to the temptation of Cass, God taps into his love of Hump and wants Cass to stick by his side until the big dance off. Anything to keep that moron safe until the clock strikes zero. Cassidy is insulted that this frizzy haired, bearded lunatic wants him to help usher in the deaths of billions. God tries to sway him with promises him his mortality and Tulip’s love through divine intervention, but Cassidy is not falling for his tricks. For a four hundred year old vampire a long dirt nap sounds great, but is God to be trusted? Human mortality is only a factor if all humans die after Hump dances, which is God’s big plan. We soon find out Starr has other plans. During some pillow talk (him naked, Featherstone fully dressed but donning a strap on fist) he tells her he plans on surviving the apocalypse. Only unworthy people will perish, but he and his new lover, if she likes, can survive. He gave the updated plans to Twoover, but unfortunately she killed him before he could alert the powers that be. Featherstone, who has always been loyal to the Grail, is confused by this new turn of events. She did not dedicate her life to this apocalyptic vision just for Herr Starr to change the script! “Why join the grail? What was all this for?” she asks. “Violence. Power. Dirty sex. Why else,” he responds. He leaves the less than satisfied Flufferton and her dangling fist appendage with her feelings while he goes to alert the powers that be of his changes. While this is happening Tulip crawls out of the elevator where she’s met by God who orders her to follow him. She begrudgingly agrees and he leads her to an office for a little chat.

Meanwhile, Hitler (Noah Taylor) is working overtime to get Jesus drunk and ready to defy his father. It didn’t help that God was not impressed with his only begotten son’s dance moves. He thanks Hitler for always supporting him, but he is no killer. He is not interested in taking out Hump. Luckily, Hitler is a killer and offers to take out Humperdoo for the team.

Back to Tulip where God tries to persuade her to join him like he did Cassidy, but this time he offers to scrap his plans if she can keep her volatile anger under control. If she can avoid hitting him for one minute he will call off his plans. He wants her to prove to him that his creation is worth it. Of course, he eggs her on with reminders of her miscarriage and how she’s always been a disappointment. She holds off as long as she can, but mocking her losses is a step too far. She pulls her gun and blasts God in the face, who in turn laughs because he knew she couldn’t bottle up her anger for long. The deal is off! He knocks Tulip to the ground, grabs some scissors and starts cutting up something that sounds gruesome. We soon find out that cutting sound was Cassidy! Jesse finds his friend in pieces crying about how hard he resisted temptation. Now he knows there is no other way to stop this other than Jesse killing his buddy Hump. He cries about how hard it was to turn down a second chance. That’s why he eventually said yes! God emerges from the shadows, strikes down Jesse and thanks Cassidy for turning on his friend. Then, he gives Cassidy a bucket of blood to help restore vampire body as he drags Jesse away. “Back to work,” God says.

A power to rival God’s own…

Jesse comes too in a church with God and he is seething, especially after God eludes to the fact Jesse has something that could end all of this. “What do you want? You’ve taken everything,” says Jesse. God finally admits that this is all about Genesis. He wants it back because its very existence is a threat to him. Jesse realizes that the power he possesses is the one thing that God truly fears. A power that rivals his own! To prove Genesis is no threat (it totally is) God tries to push Jesse into using the voice against him. When he refuses, God starts tossing Jesse around the church. The creator yells, “YOU FEAR ME, AS YOU SHOULD!”

Tulip also wakes up after her holy ass-kicking, but when she tries to leave the office she notices the door is bolted shut. Even her lock picking skills can’t open it! Luckily, Featherstone finds her and the two come face to face with guns drawn. Are these two finally teaming up?

Back to Hitler, the mustached weasel finally comes clean as to why he’s pushing Jesus to disobey his father. As the leader of Hell he would rather battle the kind and soft-spoken Jesus than the dancing Messiah King, someone he claims is a more formidable adversary. Jesus and Hitler start fighting as the the stage show is ticking closer to time zero. Back with Herr Starr he is running out of time to save himself and now he’s having tech issues faxing out his updated plans. He isn’t the only one having issues. A dull and depressed Cassidy is spending his last moments on earth with his friend Hump. There is no excitement in his demeanor, only exhaustion and waiting for the end.

As the episode draws to a close, God and Jesse are still fighting over Genesis. God demands the Preacher hand over his powers. It becomes very clear to Jesse that the all-powerful creator doesn’t actually have the ability to take the voice from him. It must be because Jesse sat on his throne! The minute God realizes this the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) arrives. The cowboy’s main goal has been to make God pay for the death of his daughter, but when he raises his gun to blast him to holy smithereens he gets a vision of his dead daughter’s doll and it looks suspiciously like Jesse! Now, the Saint has turned his outrage and his gun from the white bearded man to the preacher who took God’s place!