Riverdale – Chapter Sixty: Dog Day Afternoon

By: Courtney Groom

The episode opens with Archie (KJ Apa) doing what he does best, boxing at his own boxing club. Mad Dog (Eli Goree) enters and asks Archie to revisit his plan to turn the gym into a community center. They will group the kids for boxing and MMA lessons according to their ageand the center will be open until 10 PM so kids like Malcolm have a place to hang after school and keep them off the streets before they go home.

Archie’s mom Mary (Molly Ringwald) wants them to be aware of how much work it will entail. Mary asks Archie about school and he says Mr. Keller will be there during the day. She asks the last time the gym had a safety inspection because if the gym is a community center there are updates that will have to be done, at minimum, adding a second bathroom. Mary says it sounds expensive and Archie assures her they’ll figure it out.

Charles (Wyatt Nash) meets up with Betty (Lili Reinhart) and tells her because of intel provided by Kevin (Casey Cott), he’s had a motel under 24-hour surveillance. According to city records it’s owned by one of Edgar’s followers. Charles shows Betty a picture of Evelyn (Zoe De Grand’Maison) answering the front door to a pizza guy. Betty asks Charles if they know where they are and why aren’t they doing anything about it. He tells Betty that The Farm has been getting pizza deliveries about the same time every day. In true agent style, Charles sends in one of his spies disguised as a pizza delivery man to try and find more information. However, one part they did not follow was the timing of the delivery and when Evelyn answers the door she realizes it’s not the same guy nor the same time.

Betty and Charles are listening through a wired mic attached to the spy and they can hear him being getting attacked followed by gun shots. Charles tries contacting Echo, the agent, but Edgar (Chad Michael Murray) comes over the radio telling him he’s usually cleverer than sending a guy in with a wire. He knows all of Charles’ secrets. He threatens Charles not to send in any more people or their blood will also be on his hands.

At Thistlehouse, Cheryl (Madelaine Petsch) and Toni (Vanessa Morgan) are making out in bed when they hear Nana Rose (Barbara Wallace) walking around. Toni tells Cheryl it worries her leaving the twins alone with Nana Rose while they’re at school and suggests hiring a caretaker. Cheryl doesn’t like the idea of a complete stranger in the house, especially when her dead brother is living in their basement. They hear a bloodcurdling scream and find Nana Rose in the living room next to the fireplace. Cheryl walks up to Nana Rose and she thinks Cheryl is Penelope. She tells her she thought she saw the triplets burning in the fire. Cheryl tells her it’s her, Cheryl, and that Juniper and Dagwood (the twins) are sleeping soundly in the nursery.

At the lounge at Riverdale High we see Archie is talking to everyone about the cost of renovations for the gymnasium. Veronica (Camila Mendes) offers to lend Archie money, but he doesn’t want to take any more handouts. He wants to work for it.  Kevin suggests a charity concert while Betty suggests a bake sale. Veronica says that she’s on to something, but not a bake sale.

So, in true Riverdale style, the gang holds a car wash at Pop’s. Later in the day the total is only a little over four hundred dollars. Veronica says they’re just getting started and (jokingly but seriously) suggests a Magic Mike Night at La Bonne Nuit.

At school Betty gets a call from her mom Alice (Madchen Amick). However, it turns out to be Edgar. Betty asks him how he got her mom’s phone and he said he suspected there was a traitor in his midst. He carries on telling her that he started cutting people’s fingers off until Alice admitted it was her. Edgar tells Betty he has a list of demands: $250,000, passports for each of his followers, food, water and a bus for transport. He tells her she has five hours to convince Charles to help and then hangs up.

Charles straight away says they can’t give Edgar what he demands and he will not negotiate with a cult leader. She gets another call from Edgar and Charles says she needs to buy them time. Edgar asks if she got what he asked for and Charles tells her to say that they aren’t able to get what he wants unless he releases a hostage. Edgar says he was anticipating that she and her partners wouldn’t take his demands seriously and he already released a hostage. And in walks Betty’s sister Polly (Tiera Skovbye) wearing an explosive vest.

Betty tells Polly to stay calm and that they’ll figure it out. Charles says Polly is holding a dead man’s switch. If she lets go, the bomb explodes. Betty tries to talk to Polly saying that she knows she doesn’t want Juniper and Dagwood to grow up without a mom or Betty without a sister. Charles explains to Betty that three of the four wires attached are decoys and they’ll trigger the detonator. She needs to find the one that’s linked to the firing circuit and the battery. Betty goes up to Polly to check and figures out it’s the yellow wire. Betty cuts it, but it’s a tripwire. All it does is make the timer count down faster. Charles said there might be a system override on the dead man’s switch, a pin connected to a chain. Unfortunately, Edgar took the pin. Betty uses one of her bobby pins and the timer stops.

Polly tells Betty to get Edgar everything he has asked for or he’ll start sacrificing his followers one by one. Betty asks about their mom and Polly says if she’s still alive it won’t be for long, unless she does what Edgar says.

Betty goes to Veronica, but she says $250,000 is a lot to come up with. Veronica asks if it needs to be cash, saying that the Glamourge eggs that are her mothers are worth $50,000 each and there are five of them.

Betty then meets up with Toni for the passports, saying that she can’t say much but it’s a matter of life or death. Toni agrees, saying she knows a guy. Betty then goes to the front school office, telling one of the staff that she left her calculus book on the bus that morning and acts defeated when she’s told the bus driver has already left for the day. She manages to get the bus and drives to the motel.

She calls Edgar and tells him she got everything he asked for. At the entrance she’s met by the Farmies and Edgar, telling him she got everything he asked for – money, passports, food, water; it’s all on the bus. Edgar says he knew she wouldn’t fail him and that it is such a shame she didn’t accept the simple truths he tried to instill in her. Betty keeps asking about her mom. Evelyn hits her in the back of the head.

Back in Riverdale Mary tells Archie to go back to Chicago with her. He can finish senior year there and start all over. Archie says he doesn’t want to start over and his best bet at going to college is on a football scholarship. Mary admits she and Fred started a fund for Archie when he was born. Mary was reluctant to tell him because she thought he would want to use it on the community center, which is what he wants to do. Mary asks Archie if he wants to invest in a town like Riverdale with all of the crime that’s been going on and he says that he’s not going to give up on Riverdale the same way she did.

Betty is still knocked unconscious and Alice is next to her, both tied up in a chair. When Betty wakes up Alice tells her she’s in one of the motel rooms and that Edgar’s been keeping her there since he found out she was the mole. Alice apologizes, saying she was trying to keep Betty safe. She didn’t want her to know and she needed to get Polly out.

Alice reveals Edgar’s plan with the supplies that Betty got him. Evelyn is going to drive the bus full of Farmies off of a cliff as a distraction while Edgar takes off in the rocket he’s building. She and Betty will be tied to the front of the bus as shields.

Both Coopers managed to escape and knock Evelyn out. They then get all the Farmies on the bus. Once they drive the Farmies out, Charles can move in and take down Edgar. Alice spots Edgar on the rooftop and goes to take care of him once and for all. He follows him up the roof where Edgar is stood in a homemade rocketman suit next to a homemade rocket.

Edgar asks Alice if she remembers the story of the prophet Elijah and how he lifted up in the sky in a chariot of fire. Elijah ascended and he will too. Before Edgar can get his gun out, Alice shoots him.

Back at the gym Mary says she’s going to continue working in Riverdale and her first order of business is to get the community center declared a non-profit. If it is, Archie can ask for donations, won’t have to pay taxes and can apply for grants.

The episode ends with Jughead (Cole Sprouse) and Betty cuddling. Jughead asks about Alice and Polly. Betty says that her mom is already working on her exposé of The Farm and that Polly started a program at the Shady Grove Treatment Center. She’s getting the help she needs. Jughead then asks if Charles is the real deal and if they can trust him. Betty says she thinks they can. She’s just happy this nightmare is finally over. The doorbell rings and a VHS tape is on the porch. It reads, “Famous last words.”