Younger – Honk If You’re Horny

By starrymag | August 14, 2018

By: Taylor Gates

 

 

Charles (Peter Hermann) cooks Liza (Sutton Foster) dinner, and she’s impressed at his chef skills. However, he admits that he only knows how to cook approximately four super easy meals. Charles tells Liza that his kids are doing well and are staying with Pauline (Jennifer Westfeldt) nearby. He compliments her reading glasses, and the two decide to stop talking about Pauline and kiss instead.

 

Lauren (Molly Bernard) tells Kelsey (Hilary Duff), Josh (Nico Tortorella), Maggie (Debi Mazar) and Malkie (Sally Pressman) that, as Kelsey’s “publicist,” she submitted Kelsey for the Maverick of the Year at the Glamour Awards and Kelsey won. Even more exciting is the fact that Kelsey will be introduced by Allison Janney.

 

Diana (Miriam Shor) and Enzo (Chris Tardio) have sex, Enzo finishing with a loud groan. Though she is slightly started, Diana compliments his skills, even reassuring him that her bed frame is sturdy.

 

Liza tells Kelsey she wants Millennial to publish Calvin Kreeger’s memoir about being an addict, but Kelsey isn’t so sure. She knows the writer and thinks he’s an asshole. Liza offers to act as the editor so Kelsey doesn’t have to deal with him, but Kelsey is still reluctant considering it’s a small book and every event with him will be a challenge. Luckily, they have a self-made billionaire with a huge following named Quinn Tyler (Laura Benanti) coming in later. Kelsey passes on the manuscript Liza likes to save money for Quinn’s novel instead.

 

Kelsey calls up Redmond (Michael Urie) and tells him they’re passing, which makes him outraged. He tells Kelsey the novel is going to win awards, and Kreeger specifically wants them because of their connection to Reese Witherspoon.

 

Diana tells Kelsey that Kelsey’s publicist has requested a meeting with her, but Kelsey tells her it’s just Lauren and that she doesn’t have to take it. Diana thinks Lauren just wants Empirical to buy a table at the Glamour event. Kelsey tells Diana that Lauren is probably just making up and excuse to have a drink with her, and Diana is flattered but tries to play it off, saying she has a personal life these days.

 

Charles and Liza make secret plans to hang out that night, Charles teasing that the only meal he has left in his catalogue is peanut butter and jelly. Instead, he suggests they go out to a quiet, private restaurant he knows instead.

 

Lauren takes Diana to a bar, schmoozing her into buying a table by saying she has the “it” factor that could make her the invaluable face of Empirical. Lauren tells Diana she could get her magazine profiles, perfumes, reality shows, and even a man or woman. Diana says she already has a man that is going to pick her up at any moment. Diana can see through Lauren’s flattery, saying she likes her but doesn’t need her. Enzo comes into the restaurant, and Lauren recognizes him from something, though she can’t place where. Before she leaves, Diana promises to think about buying the table.

 

Though Charles and Liza’s date night starts out sexy, they are quickly interrupted by Redmond’s appearance. Charles lies and says he was just at the restaurant to read by himself and that Liza was bringing him a manuscript. Liza pulls out the Kreeger book she has in her bag, and Redmond informs Charles that Kelsey already passed on it. Liza says that she actually liked it but apologizes for wasting Charles’ time. Charles texts Liza, saying he’s sorry for panicking. Liza says she freaked out as well, and they realize even the Upper East Side isn’t safe.

 

Redmond goes over to Charles’ table, saying he thinks Liza believes in the book and was there to push it on him. The only reason Kelsey passed is because she doesn’t like Calvin, letting her personal feelings get in the way of a sure success. Charles thinks maybe Empirical could take a look, but Redmond is adamant Kreeger doesn’t want that—he only has eyes for Millennial.

 

Lauren shows Kelsey and Josh the porno she saw Enzo in, and they crack up. Lauren, however, is concerned that Diana might not know about it and decides she should show it to her despite Kelsey’s pleas not to.

 

Liza pitches Quinn to Diana, raving about her success. Diana tells Kelsey that she bought the biggest table at the event so Empirical can come support her. Kelsey is touched but thinks Diana might hate her after Lauren shows her the video.

 

Redmond calls Kelsey to tell her he’s sending over the contract for the Kreeger book, saying Charles emailed him confirming that Millennial will buy it. Kelsey calls Liza into her office to yell at her about the Kreeger situation. Liza apologizes, telling her the truth about what happened, and Kelsey is angry that she was even having dinner with Charles in the first place since they went from barely speaking to each other to being in a full-blown relationship. Kelsey is cold, telling Liza this is a huge problem for her.

 

During her pitch, Quinn Tyler says that this whole idea of sisterhood is actually holding women back and that they have to truly claw their way to the top alone. Men get ahead because they’re looking out for themselves while women are always looking out for others. Kelsey says that’s not true for all women, shooting Liza a pointed look.

 

Liza disagrees with this whole philosophy, saying it’s more satisfying to build something great with someone else. Quinn says her book isn’t about friendship—it’s about getting ahead in business. Kelsey notes that sometimes the people you think are your friends are actually your biggest competitors. Diana thinks, regardless of whether the book is feminist, it’s going to sell, telling them to make an offer. Kelsey decides to go do that alone, crying in her office. Liza is visibly upset at her desk as well.

 

Kelsey goes to Charles’ office, confronting him about the Kreeger situation. Charles thinks it’s the kind of risk they should take, and Kelsey says he’s probably right but would rather spend seven figures on the Quinn Tyler book. Charles tells her they can’t afford that right now, and Kelsey snarks that it would be different if she got Liza to ask him during or after dinner.

 

At the Glamour Awards, Charles and Liza plan to talk about how they’re going to handle the Kelsey situation after the event. Lauren shows Diana the porn of Enzo, saying it’s the only one she could find that he’s in. Lauren tells Diana she got it taken down and erased except for one copy, which she put on a flash drive to give to Diana. Impressed, Diana promises to call her.

 

Charles congratulates Kelsey on her award and tells her that Kreeger wanted to work with Millennial so badly that he’s basically doing the book for free. He’s also giving her the money for Claw because he believes in her judgment. He also lays down the law, telling Kelsey that what he does in his company and life from now on is his business because he owns the business.

 

Kelsey is still pissed at Liza for going behind her back, but Liza says it wasn’t like that. She tells Kelsey she’s lying for the two of them because she wants her Kelsey to succeed. Liza loves both her and Charles, but she would choose Kelsey in a heartbeat.

 

Lauren is stressed because Allison Janney cancelled last minute and they need another intro person ASAP. Quinn comes up to Kelsey and says that Charles told her the good news about her book but that it was never about the money—she really just wants to work with Millennial. Kelsey asks Quinn to introduce her, but Quinn says she thinks she should accept the award on her own without an introduction.

 

Kelsey makes a speech, saying that while she admires women who have gotten to where they are without help, she is not one of them. She shouts out Liza for being an amazing partner, saying Liza deserves to be on the stage with her. She thanks Glamour for the award on behalf of both herself and Liza.

 

Enzo tells Diana that the porn was a stupid, one-time thing he did for money but that he’s not that dumb kid anymore. Diana accepts this piece of baggage, kissing him and saying he’s not like anyone else.

 

Liza tells Charles that Kelsey is a priority of hers and always will be. Charles understands but doesn’t want to have to wait any longer to be with her. Liza feels the same way, but Charles tells her it’s important that nobody else knows about their relationship. Though keeping it a secret won’t be easy, nothing worth anything ever comes easy.