Ghosts – The Polterguest

By: Gladys Luna

A new couple of guests have arrived at the Woodstone Mansion! Sam greets them and guest Gene (Geoffrey Owens) doesn’t understand why she’s acting like he has a companion. Sam realizes that he has a ghost attached to him. Pete (Richie Moriarty), Thor (Devan Chandler Long), Hetty (Rebecca Wisocky) and Alberta (Danielle Pinnock) join Sam in the lobby and it is then when the singer notices the new ghost that introduces himself as Saul Henry (Lamorne Morris), a former baseball player that refers to himself as a poltergeist. This means that once he is attached to someone he will follow them wherever they go. Gene finishes doing his check-in while Saul flirts with Alberta. Alberta, who is now enchanted by Saul’s personality, asks Sam to stall the conversation so she can spend more time talking to the new ghost. Although she tries hard, Gene finally decides to go to his room dragging the ghost with him who takes the chance to invite Alberta to show up at his room later so they can smell some wine together. Meanwhile, in the living room Hetty, Isaac (Brandon Scott Jones) and Nigel (John Hartman) are having a conversation about their wedding making sure they have everything ready for the big day. Since Isaac has recently developed a strange fascination for dinosaurs, he wastes no time in suggesting they should make it their theme for the wedding. However, Nigel honestly confesses that the idea is not that appealing to him. Right then Trevor (Asher Grodman) and Pete come in wanting to know more about the event. Isaac says that they still need to plan their bachelor parties and that Nigel has decided to spend the night making toasts and roasts while Isaac plans to spend his time listening to Shakespeare’s’ sonnets. Trevor asks them to give him the chance to guide them on this one since he considers himself very good at it. Although there are certain things they are not capable to do anymore, he knows they can still party.

The night has come and Alberta has joined Saul at Gene’s room. The attraction between the two is evident and it only grows more and more as they engage in a conversation about who they used to be when they were alive. It’s there when they realize that the baseball player used to hang out at a place where Alberta used to be a singer and they even knew the same people, then, they start moving closer to each other and when they are about to kiss, Gene gets up and rushes to the bathroom dragging Saul with him, who asks her to wait for him to come back. Meanwhile, Nigel’s bachelor party is in full swing – or so he thinks – given that everyone appears to be incredibly bored. Besides the regular ghosts, a couple of Nigel’s friends, Baxter (Steven Yaffee) and Jenkins (Christian Daoust) have joined, being the last one also Nigel’s ex-boyfriend. In an attempt to spice things up, Trevor suggests that maybe they should try to get groom a lap dance and after explaining what that means to everyone there, Jenkins wastes no time in volunteering for such a task, asking Baxter to play the flute for him and then giving his ex a lap dance, something that they are sure Isaac won’t be so happy about.

The next day Sam asks Jay, Hetty and Sas (Román Zaragoza) if they have heard about Alberta given that that she was supposed to hang out with Saul the prior night. Hetty says that the only thing she knows is that she missed their morning walk. Right at that moment Alberta shows up looking giddy and fresh saying that she won’t spill any detail about the night she spent with Saul, but she ends up sharing everything about it. It is then when Gene shows up at the lobby with Saul in tow and ready to check-out, something that makes Alberta and Saul sad since they have to part ways. Sam offers the guest an extra night for free saying that he is their one thousand customer but the man declines since he needs to go back to Philadelphia. Jay helps the man carry his bags outside and they are followed by Alberta who doesn’t know what else to do to make her lover stay. Saul offers a solution which is to attach himself to another human so he can extend his stay there and the only one available is none other than Jay. A few minutes later they enter the lobby and Sam has to inform her husband about what just happened. Later that night when Sam and Jay have gone to bed and are ready to leave the day behind Sam finds herself in an awkward situation given that not only Saul is there with them but also Alberta. She is practically forced to hear them and see them being all romantic with each other. Alberta asks Sam to give them some privacy and the woman is willing to help, but Jay opposes the idea and decides to go make some tea for himself and give some space for Sam and Alberta to talk about the current situation. Alberta plays her cards with her friend saying that it’s been a long time since she has felt attracted to someone and begs her to help her with this.

The next day we can see Pete pacing around while saying to Trevor, Thor and Sas that they should confess to Isaac everything that happened during Nigel’s bachelor party. Isaac shows up asking how everything went at the party and although everyone tries to lie, Pete blurts out the truth. Right then Nigel walks in implying they don’t talk about what truly happened but his fiancé already knows everything about it so he suggests he should do the same. Trevor asks Sam to get him a stripper for Isaac to which the woman surprisingly agrees. Sam meets Jay in the living room who is sat next to a very asleep Saul and takes the opportunity to talk to him and convince him to support Alberta and Saul. He is not giving in so she promises they’ll find a way to find someone else who Saul can attach to and finally leave him alone.

Now it is time for Isaac’s bachelor party and the stripper (Deniz Akdeniz) has arrived ready for the party. Sam instructs him about what to do, which is to dance to an apparent empty seat in front of him, but we all know that it is actually occupied by Isaac. She tries to explain herself about such a bizarre request, but he says that there is no need for it. The man turns his lights and music on and begins dancing while everyone watches him. Suddenly, in the middle of his dance he spots a small dinosaur standing on a table and asks about it. Sam says that the T-Rex was forgotten by a customer, but the stripper immediately corrects her about the creatures’ real name – something that catches Isaac’s attention. The man continues with his show, but then Isaac asks Sam to request the stripper to roar like the dinosaur. The stripper agrees, but before he says that said dinosaur do not roar but “click” and as soon as he starts making the clicking noises Isaac is a goner.

The next morning Sam and Jay talk to Saul trying to persuade him to find a different person to attach to but unfortunately for them Alberta shows up and the ballplayer confesses everything the couple had suggested and accuses them of wanting to break them apart. Alberta feels betrayed by them and storms out the room. She asks her lover to follow her, but sadly he cannot leave if Jay doesn’t. Later that day, while Jay is watching TV, Alberta and Saul take the chance to spend some time together. Although things are going very well, it takes a sudden change when the player confesses that even when Jay dies he will make sure to attach himself to a new guy just to be with her – even if he had to go for generations. This doesn’t sound as pleasant to Alberta but the real  dealbreaker is when he starts calling her by cheesy nicknames that make her run and ask for Sam’s help to find him a new person to go to.

Nigel and Isaac talk about their respective parties making the first one to confess that the whole experience just reassured him that he is where he wants to be but, unfortunately for him, during the whole conversation all Isaac can think about is the stripper. In the meantime, Alberta has an honest conversation with Saul and tells her what she feels which he completely understands. With Jay’s help he is taken back to Philadelphia where the man makes an appointment with Gene of the excuse of returning his umbrella only for Saul to attach to him again. That same night Sam and Jay are finally back on their peaceful routine without any ghosts to disturb them and ready to have a romantic and fun night.