By: Kelly Kearney
In what feels like a heartfelt tribute to Hacks’ most dedicated fans, the trio of head writers pulled off something few showrunners ever managed: balancing the integrity of their story with the audience’s deep love for the fan-favorite ship they lovingly call “Avorah.” In what might be the funniest episode of the series, Deborah and Ava bring the tropiest fake-dating scheme imaginable to life when fellow comic and DeGeneres-esque daytime queen Kelly Kilpatrick and her age-gap wife invite the “couple” to their home in Montecito. Hijinks, kissing, and open-relationship chaos all come to a climax when Deborah weaponizes her chemistry with Ava to score Carol Burnett’s Jumpsuit for her upcoming show.
Revealing Dreams & Wardrobe Dysfunction
We open in Deborah’s (Jean Smart) nightmare as she stands fully naked onstage at Madison Square Garden in front of an audience made up entirely of laughing Kathys (J. Smith-Cameron). When Deb’s teeth suddenly fall out, she wakes up screaming in horror. In the best version of a knight defending her comedy queen, Ava (Hannah Einbinder), wearing her Tasmanian Devil pajamas, comes sprinting into Deborah’s bedroom wielding a bat and screaming about a possible intruder. Of course, when Deborah asks what all the fuss is about, Ava sarcastically admits she rushed in fearing the proletariat had finally come for Deborah and she was going to have to choose sides. Who is she kidding? It is obvious the side she chose was defending Deborah in the most queerly honorable way.
When Deb starts explaining why she woke up terrified, Ava is surprised because she thought the house rule was they never talk about their dreams. Deborah quickly clears that up: only Ava is prohibited from talking about hers, Deborah is not under the same gag order. So what is the true meaning behind this naked-teeth nightmare? Ava assumes it is anxiety over the big show and getting those opening jokes right, but Deb associates the nudity with wardrobe insecurity. What outfit says “comedy legend?” She falls back asleep thinking about calling her stylist, while Ava is still trying to calm her nerves. Living with your boss and creative soulmate can be exhausting sometimes.
The next morning, Ava is walking out of a tea shop carrying her favorite boba drink when she is rudely mowed down by a driverless Waymo. She breaks her arm, and thanks to the painkillers prescribed, the urgent care staff will not release her unless someone can drive her. She calls Deborah for a ride, but she is not in Las Vegas — she is supposedly at Miraval Resort and Spa in Arizona. She claims to be poaching their director for The Diva. DJ could pick her up, but it might take a while since she only makes left turns. Ava almost died once already, so she is not taking any more risks. Before she can order an Uber, she gets a call from former Late Night writer Merrill Markoe, who not only outs Deborah as a liar but also wants the umbrella back she lent Ava. Merrill was reminded of it when she saw Deborah run a red light in Beverly Hills just a few minutes earlier. Ava knows it could not have been Deborah — she is in Arizona — but Merrill assures her it was definitely Vance. You cannot miss that blonde beehive or the Rolls-Royce with the Diva license plate. Deborah lied to Ava, but why? They have supposedly moved past keeping things from each other, building real trust and an honest friendship. Now Ava is miffed, even through the numbing haze of Vicodin.
The following day, sporting both a cast and a curious mind, Ava walks into the kitchen to find Deborah getting ready to meet with her psychic, Diana (Polly Draper). They do not get a chance to discuss Merrill’s phone call because there are apparently more pressing matters at hand. No, not joke writing — wardrobe. In Diana’s vision, Deborah sees herself wearing a white sparkly jumpsuit with a flowy top: the exact outfit Carol Burnett wore during her final show. Deborah immediately calls Bob Mackie, Burnett’s designer, hoping to borrow it for Madison Square Garden. Bob and Deb are old friends, which is why he hesitates before revealing who currently owns the suit: Deborah’s professional nemesis, Kelly Kirkpatrick (Cherry Jones). The comedian-turned-America’s-favorite daytime talk show host hates Deborah and she is not entirely sure why. Ava gently reminds her it could have something to do with all the homophobic jokes she made at Kelly’s expense after she publicly came out at the VMAs. Now Deborah has to swallow her pride and play nice if she has any hope of getting her hands on that jumpsuit. Everything about this show has to be perfect, and if her destiny is wrapped up in bedazzled white chiffon, Deborah is willing to suffer through brunch diplomacy to make it happen. She orders Damien (Mark Indelicato) to book her favorite apology booth at Spago. Deborah Vance is about to eat crow for lunch.
Out of the Closet With Ava to Get Into Kelly’s Closet
At the restaurant, the tension between the two comics is still simmering until Ava interrupts to return Deborah’s phone, which she left in the car. Their interactions — deeply specific to their emotionally entangled relationship — read less like coworkers and more like a married couple to outside observers like Kelly. Honestly, the chemistry has always straddled that line, which is why the fans finally feel fed from what goes down next. When Ava spots Deborah drinking caffeine and Deborah insists it is decaf, Kelly immediately clocks the lie and points out that it is definitely regular coffee. This unleashes Ava’s inner oversharer, and she proceeds to tell Kelly that if Deborah drinks caffeine, she stays awake all night — which in turn keeps Ava awake all night. Kelly smiles as the misunderstanding begins to bloom in rainbow colored real time.
After Ava leaves them alone, Kelly admits she always assumed Deborah’s homophobic jokes came from a place of professional jealousy, but now she realizes Deborah was simply hiding her truth. Deborah Vance is gay! Just as she is about to deny the assumption, Deborah spots an opportunity to get into Kelly’s closet — literally and figuratively — and chokes out an awkward, “I’m… gay.” Because community is everything, Kelly immediately invites Deborah and her “girlfriend” Ava to spend the weekend at her Montecito home. Deborah accepts for both of them, naturally withholding this tiny little detail from Ava until the absolute last possible second: standing on Kelly’s doorstep.
Ava nearly chokes on this reveal and immediately adds it to the growing list of things she thinks Deborah is hiding from her. Not only is Deborah sidestepping the accusation that she lied about going to Arizona, she has also upgraded their relationship status from “girlfriends” — which Kelly merely assumed — to fully monogamous wives. Now the two have to convince a pair of married lesbians that they are also married lesbians, which, if you ask the fans of this show, simply requires Deb and Ava to act like themselves. If they can do that,then this entire Sapphic Jumpsuit Caper will work out just fine.
Too bad the flirty and smoking-hot Monica (Leslie Bibb) cannot know the truth because Ava is channeling her inner Chandler Bing and suddenly wants to be more than Friends with Kelly’s wife. If Deborah wants Ava’s cooperation, she is going to need to cough up a thousand dollars for the effort. When Deborah opens her purse to reveal a wad of cash, Kelly chooses that exact moment to announce Negronis will be served at six. Does Kelly think Ava is a gold digger? Maybe, but this trophy wife just secured herself a nice payday, even if she has to sleep in the tub.
Dreams Really Do Come True
When they reconvene for drinks, Ava lays the relationship vibes on thick. First, she jokes that her broken arm has put Deborah in a bad mood because her favorite hand is out of commission. Then she retells the real story of how they met, somehow transforming their actual history into gay lore without changing a single detail. Finally, she caps off happy hour with the long-awaited moment everyone has been begging for: she asks Deborah for a kiss! Stunned, Deborah leans in for a quick peck, but Ava is immediately like, “Let’s go big or go home”… to the home they share together in a totally non-lesbian way. She leans back in for a deeper kiss. Then another, and another, until Deborah awkwardly kisses back. She has no choice but to fully accept that this is apparently happening and returns an even longer smooch. That’s a green light for Ava, who practically crawls into her lap, nuzzling Deborah’s neck while simultaneously convincing Kelly they are real lovers. It also awakens something in Monica, as the energy radiating off of her screams “open marriage.” She is absolutely eyeing Ava — and maybe Deborah too — as potential additions to the weekend itinerary.
After the kiss, Deborah abruptly changes the subject to the suit jacket Kelly is wearing, and we learn Kelly collects iconic Hollywood wardrobe pieces. The jacket once belonged to Merv Griffin. When Kelly mentions her closet, Deborah sees the perfect opening to ask for a tour, hoping she can casually bring up Carol jumpsuit. Unfortunately, Monica is already exhausted from hearing about Kelly’s celebrity wardrobe archive, so the tour gets tabled until later.
After the whole make-out session, Ava wanders into another room and finds Monica lounging casually, flirtation levels set to maximum. Monica admits her marriage is open, and Ava — very interested but also deeply committed to Deborah’s Madison Square Garden dream — explains that she and Deborah are decidedly not. Monica clocks Ava’s interest immediately but wisely shelves the conversation for later. Instead, she asks Ava if she wants to see her chicken coop–not a euphemism, actual chickens. Ava is hot, emotionally restrained, and fully invested in local farm-to-table, so the young wives head out to the coop while Deborah finally gets access to Kelly’s closet.
When Deborah spots the chiffon jumpsuit, every attempt to bring it up gets derailed. Kelly is far more interested in showing off the outfit Bette Midler wore on Johnny Carson’s final Tonight Show. Every time Deborah inches closer to the suit, Kelly steamrolls her with another piece of television history.
The Truth is Out
Meanwhile, after bonding with the chickens, Ava sneaks off to call Damien and corner him into admitting the Miraval trip was a lie. He finally confesses, but the second he hears what Ava and Deborah are actually up to, he abruptly hangs up. Lesbians — even debatably fake ones trapped in endless emotional chaos — are exhausting to his inner gay man.
Later that night over dinner, Ava realizes Deborah’s complete inability to speak fluent lesbian might be the thing that blows their cover. When Monica asks Deborah whether she “straps,” Deborah stares back in utter confusion. The phrase “pillow princess” does not go much better. To save the operation, Ava launches into an aggressively detailed explanation of their fake sex life. From eating ass to shibari — cue Monica casually mentioning she knows the Chandelier-singing artist Sia — and Ava keeps escalating the details. Deborah hides her face behind a napkin, slowly choking on her dinner trying not to combust from humiliation.
After those inappropriate reveals, the party transitions into couples dancing followed by a spontaneous naked hot tub dip. Deborah has no choice but to commit to the bit as she watches Monica work overtime trying to lure their guests into swinger territory.Kelly winds up breaking the awkward tension when she tells Deborah she had her all wrong. Their time spent together this weekend has impressed her. She especially enjoyed the news that Deb’s going after Bob Lipka to take back her career and her free speech. “You really grew a pair,” she says, and then questions the recent reports of her time in jail. Deborah again drops a few jokes about lockup that most lesbians wouldn’t make and it puts Ava on edge. She tries filling in the conversation gaps by talking about her childhood Space Jam crush. Anything to deflect from the straight’s prudish Boomerness.
Once they’re back to their room Debra is livid. She accuses Ava of being out of line all night with all the embarrassing sex talk, but Ava lashes back that she’s saved Debra’s “straight ass.” She should be thanking her, not yelling at her.Deborah fires back that Ava can’t ever say “ass” again after she told Kelly and Monica she eats it. The truth is, if Ava didn’t lay down some heavy wife on wife information then Kelly would figure out that all of this is a lie and Deborah would never get her hands on Carol’s clothes. This might be the gayest saga in Television history. On Top of everything else, Ava admits she knows Deborah has been lying to her because Damien inadvertently told her the truth; she was never at Miraval and she doesn’t understand why she lied to her about it. A shaken Deb tries to cover up the reason she lied by throwing blame back at Ava questioning why she’s following her. She is not ready to admit the truth and Ava is done fighting with her weekend wife. So, she retires to the tub for a terrible night’s sleep..
Two Trophy Wives Play Like Toy Story
After tossing and turning in the world’s least comfortable porcelain guest bed, Ava finally gives up and heads downstairs for a midnight snack. She finds one– blonde, and seductively sucking strawberries and offering to feed them to her by hand. Apparently Monica also fought with her wife and is now practicing a little self-care by aggressively coming on to Ava. The tension between them is scorching, and they are just about to kiss when Deborah barges in on their moment. Monica immediately skidaddles away with a knowing smile while the fake wives retreat to their bedroom to scream it out — and not in the way the fans were hoping. Get your minds out of the gutter!
“How dare you cheat on me?” Deborah rages, which is admittedly difficult to pull off considering they were never actually dating in the first place. Ava fires back that this entire disaster started with yet another Deborah lie, just like Miraval. Deborah sidesteps that and accuses Ava of letting her hormones ruin the plan, but Ava argues that hooking up with Monica would not have ruined anything because she is in an open relationship. Deborah snaps back with, “Well, we are monogamous!” This is extremely alarming news to Ava, whose immediate response is, “What?” The only hookups these two ever had exist in Ava’s season one dreams. They are definitely not monogamous because they are definitely not together, and somehow a fake lesbian weekend in beautiful Montecito has spiraled into a full-blown relationship argument–without the make-up sex!
Their yelling draws Kelly and Monica into the bedroom, both women immediately assuming Deborah is secretly abusive. They ask whether Deborah caused Ava’s broken arm, and Deborah looks deeply offended by the accusation. She insists she would never hit Ava, which prompts Ava to roll her eyes because just last week the two of them were physically wrestling over a cellphone on the couch. These women kiss with fists. Their love language is lawsuits and heartfelt apologies.
Eventually Monica cuts to the real issue: she assumes the fight is about Ava wanting an open relationship and Deborah refusing to listen to her partner’s needs. Ava finally admits the truth. This is not really about monogamy at all. She is hurt because she feels like Deborah is hiding things from her, and she does not understand why she does not trust their relationship enough to tell her the truth. After years of couples therapy, Kelly has apparently learned a thing or two and gently suggests they table the argument until breakfast. Without missing a beat, Ava and Deborah climb into bed together, still furious and completely unresolved. Quietly, Ava whispers that she hates going to bed angry with her. Fake wives, real wives — at this point the line between the two barely exists.
Critical Mass
The next morning, Ava runs into Kelly, who offers some surprisingly insightful advice. From Kelly’s perspective, it seems obvious Deborah hurt Ava deeply in the past and she is still trying to recover from it. In fact, Kelly suspects Ava’s constant oversharing — especially the wildly graphic details about their relationship — is really her way of forcing intimacy she is afraid of losing. Likewise, Ava’s need to know every single detail about her “wife’s” life stems from a fear that Deborah is still withholding things from her. The observation hits a little too hard. Ava realizes Kelly is right. She is hurt, and she does feel betrayed. Maybe she has been trying to heal their relationship in the loudest, messiest way possible? Kelly gently points out that “the people we love are often fundamentally different from us.” Deborah is a private and guarded person. Letting someone in is terrifying for someone like her. The fact that she has lowered those walls at all should probably tell Ava how much Deborah cares about her.
Taking Kelly’s words to heart, Ava grabs two coffees and finds Deborah sitting outside against the rolling Montecito hills. The visual is almost absurdly romantic: the two women dressed in mirrored black-and-white outfits, seated side by side like reflections of each other. Deborah reaches out first, apologizing for not being honest, but Ava stops her and admits she understands she is not entitled to every detail of her life. Deborah disagrees; Ava does deserve the truth. She was never in Arizona, she was in Beverly Hills having a mass removed.
Ava immediately panics, and Deborah quickly reassures her by handing over her phone, already opened to an email from her doctor confirming the tests came back negative. Other than slightly high cholesterol, she is healthy. Ava can barely process the relief flooding through her as she reads the message and forces Deborah to promise she is truly okay. Still, she asks why Deborah would keep something this serious from her in the first place. She gently explains that Ava’s exact reaction is why. She knew Ava would spiral and worry, and she did not want to put her through that unless there was actually something to worry about.
The two agree to meet each other halfway going forward: Ava will dial back the oversharing, and Deborah will be more honest about what is going on in her life. Which also means they now have to tell Kelly and Monica the real reason they came to Montecito in the first place. Ava jokes that this technically means they are breaking up, but no worries, they can still be friends, roommates, coworkers, and emotionally codependent weirdos with impossibly intertwined lives. The two laugh, and just like that everything feels normal again.
After finally coming clean to their hosts, and sort of blaming it all on Diana the psychic, Kelly cannot help pointing out the thing viewers have been screaming since the pilot episode. After spending an entire weekend watching them interact, it is painfully obvious Deborah and Ava are basically in a relationship. The truly tragic part is that they seem to be the only two people who cannot see it. Kelly feels so bad for these two clueless closet-cases that she finally sends Deborah home with the Carol Burnett jumpsuit. The weekend is over!
And on the drive home, Deborah and Ava do absolutely nothing to disprove Kelly’s theory. Ava immediately starts eating the fancy cookies she stole from the Montecito house in the front seat of Deborah’s car. In every previous season, Deborah’s “no crumbs in the car” rule has been treated with the severity of federal law. Now Deborah barely even notices Ava inhaling contraband cookies beside her. Instead, the two laugh about whether they should tell Damien and Josefina they hooked up. All is right again, and with Carol Burnett’s legendary jumpsuit finally resting in the backseat. Now, Deborah can return to focusing on the finishing touches for her Madison Square Garden show and securing her legacy one joke at a time.