Lucifer – God Johnson

By: Paige Zinaman

Lucifer (Tom Ellis) tells her that he fully intends on using the sword to get back to Heaven while pushing Charlotte (Tricia Helfer) in and shutting the doors on her. Linda (Rachael Harris) asks Lucifer if Charlotte and God would get angry at each other to, which he tells her he hopes they tear each other apart. When Linda expresses her concerns for her, Lucifer tells her that until they can work out why the sword won’t work they have to put the plans on hold. Linda tells him that it’s good because God and his ex-wife having a fight to the death sounds bad for humanity. Lucifer tells her that humanity should be fine, which she tells him doesn’t sound reassuring and asks what Maze (Lesley-Ann Brandt) thinks of the plan. Lucifer tells her that he wouldn’t know because he hasn’t told her because Maze would do things she thinks are in his best interests which he doesn’t need.

Chloe (Lauren German) arrives at the hospital and tells Lucifer that he should call Maze telling him that it’s been a while since they’ve hung out. Lucifer asks her if she’s tired of tripping over sex toys to which Chloe says she didn’t say that. It would just do them both some good if she wasn’t around all the time. Lucifer tells her that Maze is, “Like a baby bird that imprints on anything close to them and sadly that’s you. You are the new me,” to which Chloe tells him that she doesn’t want to be him and that she just wants some space. When they arrive, Ella (Aimee Garcia) tells them that the victim was murdered and the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the back of the head. When Chloe asks who found the body, Dan (Kevin Alejandro) tells them God found the body. Dan explains that God Johnson (Timothy Omundson) found the body while also telling them that he believes he’s God so much so he had his name changed to it. Chloe pats Lucifer on the back telling him that he and God will have a lot to talk about. Lucifer asks God what he truly desires when he discovers his powers don’t work on him. A worker comes in telling Lucifer he’s not supposed to be in there. As Lucifer leaves God tells him, “It was really good seeing you Samael,” at this Lucifer stops and turns asking what he just said when he finds divine light coming from behind God.

Back at LUX, Lucifer asks Amenadiel (D.B. Woodside) if God has ever visited Earth before. Amenadiel tells him that to his knowledge no and asks why he would visit now. Lucifer tells him that it may be because they are plotting to over throw him, but Amenadiel tells him that’s not the way God works and that he would send someone like him or maybe a burning bush to do the job. When Lucifer asks how this man would know that Samael was his real name Amenadiel gets sarcastic and tells Lucifer, “Oh I know. The internet.” Lucifer tells him that that was funny and all, but he didn’t introduce himself as Lucifer. When Lucifer says that Earth is God’s favorite toy and that maybe he got tired of looking at it from a far he further says that Earth isn’t an entirely boring place. Amenadiel tells Lucifer that he’s sounding crazy because Earth is nothing compared to Heaven.

Ella is talking to Lucifer and Chloe at the police station when she asks them that what if God was one of them, to which Chloe finishes quoting the song “One of Us” by Joan Osborne. Lucifer says that his father would never use public transportation and that the song is completely unrealistic. Ella asks what song and Lucifer tells her the song he hates just as much as he hates hypocrites like God Johnson. Chloe tells him that she sees some similarities between him and God Johnson to which Lucifer says that the man is not his father. Ella tells them that it’s a good thing because he may be their killer because the man was bald and that it’s hard to get the prints off the body. So, she used the ultraviolet light source and found prints that matched Earl “God” Johnson on the victim’s head.

Lucifer goes to the hospital and tells the guy at the checkin that he wants a room. The man asks if he was joking because it is a mental hospital. Lucifer tells him that he jumped ahead and introduces himself as Lucifer Morningstar the “Dark Lord” and “Devil.” Still receiving no response he tells him that he needs to be committed right away. The clerk tells him that unless he’s a danger to himself or others he can’t do anything. Lucifer reaches underneath the slot and grabs the clerk by the shirt and pulls him into the glass asking if that works. At the police station, Dan is looking through the fridge trying to find his pudding. When he can’t find it he goes out into the bullpen asking how took his pudding and calling out fellow cops when Charlotte appears behind him asking him if he wants a taste. Dan asks her if she doesn’t have anything better to do than raid their fridge.

Lucifer leans over to the gentleman next to him and asks what he knows about God Johnson. The man tells Lucifer that he liked fire causing Lucifer to lean back when another man said maybe he could help. He says he saw him perform a miracle then telling Lucifer that he scored him an extra Jell-O once. When Lucifer stands up to walk away Billy (Julian Domingues) throws his underwear at his face right when Dr. Liam Garrity (Alimi Ballard) walks in and introduces himself to Lucifer. He begins asking if they could talk later. When Lucifer goes looking for God Johnson he finds him strangling a woman and pulls them apart. Lucifer watches as God saves a woman who was bleeding out. When Lucifer says that it’s really his father he punches him in the face.

Chloe shows up to the hospital to talk with Lucifer and when she asks why he got himself admitted he tells her that it was to help the investigation as he turned the sketch book around to reveal his “drawing” of Chloe. She goes to get him out when he stops her and tells her that they needed an inside man and he has some personal stuff he’d like to hash out with him. Mostly, it was for the investigation. She asks Lucifer if that’s why he punched him in the face. Lucifer tells Chloe that God Johnson could be his father after all and that he can’t be the killer because another patient was attacked last night and he healed her. Before they took her away she told him that “Santa Claus” attacked her. Chloe ends up talking to Dr. Garrity about Lucifer and how she’s worried about him. Dr. Garrity asks her if Lucifer was her fiancé or boyfriend, clearly flirting with her, when Nurse Kipsey (Laura Coover) tells him it’s time for music therapy.

Lucifer goes to see God and tells him he will give him one last chance to apologize. God tells him that he punched him, but what he can do is forgive Lucifer. God asks Lucifer what he thinks he did to deserve Lucifer’s anger. Lucifer lets him have it and ends up calling God a “helicopter parent.” God asks if he thinks he has no free will to which Lucifer tells him that everything that happens throughout time is all his doing including Charlotte arriving. God tells him that he is not the Samael he remembers causing Lucifer to tell him that he made him this way when he casted him out of Heaven. Lucifer’s eyes shine red as he tells God to apologize right as Linda walks in.

Back at the station, Ella is singing to “One of Us” when Chloe walks in asking if she found evidence pointing to Santa Claus. Ella looks shocked and says she was going to ask her the same question when they found a match. Lucifer is pushing Linda in a wheelchair as she holds a paper bag freaking out telling him she should have bowed when Lucifer said she should have spit on him. Linda begs him to let his parents fight when he tells her he has another plan and that she is going to help him with it. The fire alarm goes off and they walk through the riot as orderlies and nurses are nowhere to be found. Lucifer and God make it to the door where Linda is waiting for them and bows before God who tells her a handshake will do. Chloe and Maze get ready for Liam, but opens the door to find Amenadiel. Charlotte arrives at LUX under the impression Lucifer wanted to show her something when she is face to face with God once again while Lucifer and Linda hide behind the bar. Lucifer tells them they are recreating their first date so they can start tearing each other apart. Charlotte is confused about who the man is until he tells her about Lucifer then Charlotte knees him in the manly parts for putting her in Hell.

Amenadiel tells Maze that there’s not a lot of time before their gone when she questions him he finds out Lucifer hasn’t told Maze about their plan and Amenadiel tells her that they are all going back to Heaven. Chloe talks to Liam about his job and tells him about a gentleman she saw while she was there the other day. Before they could talk, his phone alerts tell him Lucifer escaped and took God with him. Charlotte questions Lucifer about why he’s there when he tells her that God truly misses her. He and Linda walk away while Charlotte and God hash out their differences and start dancing. Linda questions Lucifer on if he’s sure it’s revenge he wants. Charlotte and God kiss right when Chloe comes in. Chloe goes to talk to Liam, apologizing for using him as he helped her, but he lets her look at Dale’s file as he turns away. She finds a picture of someone dressed as Santa and when they open the storage unit they find the Santa hat and beard missing.

Lucifer is drugged when Santa comes in and knocks him out. Lucifer is still out of it when the woman behind the mask wheels him in a room with God and threatens him. God reveals that it’s Nurse Kipsey who is confused as to why the medicine isn’t working on him. She tells God that he’s going to kill Lucifer and kill himself using his belt.  When she leaves, God and Lucifer talk about why he wants to destroy him when he tells Lucifer he doesn’t even remember why he was angry with him to begin with and says him that he’s proud of the man Lucifer has become. Chloe comes in right as Kipsey takes the belt off of God who is confused as to who the people are. Lucifer discovers a piece of the sword was on the belt. Amenadiel and Lucifer put the sword back together only to have it come apart when he puts it down. He worries maybe Charlotte knows and then asks where she is at. Charlotte shows up at Dan’s door telling him about what happened and tells him she doesn’t want to be alone.

Earl goes to leave when he asks Lucifer about what happened and then asks Lucifer if he’s not angry with his dad. Lucifer replies, “I’m bloody furious because I realized he would never say those things to me and for that I hate him all the more.”