By: Kelly Kearney
“If you lose the dressing room, you lose the team” is a motto the Lady Greyhounds are about to learn the hard way when Ted, Beard, and Alice are faced with breaking up the cliques causing fights and friction in the locker room and on the pitch. Throw in a few classic Ted Lasso lessons about teamwork and camaraderie, and we finally have the first episodes of this new season that feel like familiar Lasso territory. It’s good vibes, life lessons, movie quotes, and one important newcomer who might shake things up in, “Greyhound’s Day Off.”
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The episode opens with Trent Crimm (James Lance) and Dr. Sharon Fieldstone (Sarah Niles) together on Trent’s podcast, Through the Laces, and immediately drops us into another team crisis. Since we last saw Dr. Fieldstone, she’s become a professor of sports psychology, and Trent has her on the show to promote her new book, Unlocking the I in Team. After perusing the pages, Trent asks Sharon about the phrase “lose the dressing room, lose the team,” a Lassoism he used in his book, The Richmond Way. Fieldstone explains that successful teams are also happy teams, and those good vibes start with a coach who establishes a culture of trust and communication early on. That idea becomes the running commentary for the challenges Ted and the coaching staff face throughout the episode.
Communication between players is key to a team’s success, which is precisely why Ted (Jason Sudeikis) is frustrated. He can’t even enter the women’s locker room, and eavesdropping isn’t working out so well. With the women bickering behind the door, Ted is realizing just how different leading a women’s team is from leading the men’s team. That distance is clearly bothering him, and Beard (Brendan Hunt) notices. With the sounds of arguing still echoing from the locker room, he wonders what has everyone yelling. With four matches under their belts, two wins and two draws, the team should be riding high. They’re in the FA Cup, which is a pretty big deal for this new franchise. From Ted’s perspective, it’s all good news.
Once the coast is clear and everyone is dressed, Ted enters the locker room and congratulates the team on their latest win. He points out the players who had standout moments during the match and then goes around the room as different positions cheer only for their own. Midfielders cheer for midfielders. Defenders applaud defenders. Nobody is acting like one team, celebrating everyone’s contributions. Something is definitely up.
When the coaches return to the office, Alice (Tanya Reynolds) explains the problem to Ted using a language she assumes he’ll understand: Harry Potter. Unfortunately, Ted missed out on that millennial hat-sorting bible and is more of a Percy Jackson guy thanks to Henry’s interests. Shocked and slightly outraged by his Potterless life, Beard puts it in Ferris Bueller terms while Alice breaks down the team dynamics into Hogwarts houses.
The problem comes down to cliques. They’ve formed within the team, and that is very bad news. As coaches, they need to find a way to unite the women. Ted never had this problem with the men’s team. Sure, they had their friends and factions, but Alice explains that these cliques are different. The women have divided themselves between selfish attackers, anxious defenders, and logical midfielders, and those loyalties can change at any moment. If they don’t figure out how to break down those walls, it could cost them future wins.
Put Your Money Where Your Footballs Are
Meanwhile, Keeley (Juno Temple) and Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) attend the Women’s Football Business Summit, where tickets cost a whopping £2,000 a plate. Enter Zelda Southport (Tracy Ullman), an eccentric ex-punk rocker and self-made millionaire who founded a company that invests exclusively in women’s sports. When Zelda takes the stage, she proceeds to drag the entire room for throwing money at women’s football without actually caring about the sport or its success. She’s blunt, brash, and a little bossy, and Keeley is immediately obsessed. She sees Zelda’s brand of female solidarity as a potential lifeline for the Greyhounds and rushes to meet her at the bar.
Zelda, who has heard about Rebecca’s divorce, compares Welton’s investment in football to the way she profited from her failed marriage, turning her divorce winnings into the creation of a claw clip. It’s a hair accessory Keeley loves and, according to Zelda, is proof that women can do anything if they put their minds and money to it. “Never underestimate the power of anger as fuel,” she says. Keeley is sold and asks to set up a meeting to discuss the team, but Rebecca, who isn’t quite as enamored with Zelda, puts a pin in it and tells Southport her office will be in touch.
Back at Richmond, we hear Trent and Dr. Sharon talking about cliques. Sharon sees them as a way for “people to find a community in a stressful environment.” Meanwhile, the women are back on the pitch and seem to be playing well together until they break for five and Alice points out just how divided the players are along the sidelines. Once again, three separate packs have formed, and the clique vibes are only getting stronger.
Next, we head inside the stadium, where Keeley fills Roy (Brett Goldstein) in on meeting Zelda Southport. She’s talking a mile a minute about the Greyhounds potentially becoming one of the many women’s teams Zelda bankrolls, from football and ice hockey to the WNBA, she’s even invested in a West End production of an all-female Glengarry Glen Ross. Zelda is Team Women all the way. Roy quietly listens to Keeley, and when she finally takes a breath, he admits that he loves seeing her excited. Then he surprises her by asking about their relationship and whether he has waited long enough for her to figure things out. Cue Higgins (Jeremy Swift), who interrupts with his encyclopedic knowledge of Zelda and her former band, Seizure. As he rambles on about her music, he slowly realizes he’s interrupted something between the former couple and tries to escape the tension. Keeley, naturally, forces him to stay. She admits that she doesn’t think Roy is ready to try again because he hasn’t even given being single a chance. She asks how many people he’s been with, and while Roy has slept with plenty of women over the last three years, he hasn’t dated any of them. His excuse? He only wants Keeley. She points out that sleeping with a bunch of women without making an effort to actually know them isn’t exactly the same thing as dating. She wants to know that Roy chooses her after testing the waters with other people. Until then, she can’t give them another chance. She needs him to be sure, and apparently that means he needs to take at least ten women on dates before they can discuss their relationship again. Roy is now on a mission to clear those ten obligations so Keeley will take him back.
Film Inspiration
We head back to the podcast, where Trent talks about passages in his book focusing on team building through movie nights. He knows Sharon didn’t read it, but she has opinions regardless. Watching a movie, she argues, is more of a solitary experience. Nobody can talk in a theater, so every idea stays quietly tucked inside everyone’s mind. True team building, she believes, means creating a space where the warring cliques can actually interact and find common ground.That space soon becomes Mae’s pub.
While Beard and Ted are having a drink and discussing how they’re going to fix the clique problem, Beard’s first ideas come straight from Mean Girls. Only the way those cliques were disbanded was by Regina George getting hit by a bus. Since none of these women are coming back from being run over by a double-decker, they’ll have to think of something else. Beard then moves on to Heathers, conveniently forgetting that Veronica murdered all the other Heathers. Also probably not ideal for team building. Disappointed with these inspiring film choices, Ted asks what happened in The Lost Boys. Unfortunately, staking teenagers through the heart is also a no-go. Ted is so stuck in his fear of marching into an undressed and unwelcoming locker room that he’s forgotten the simplest way to bring people together: give them a common goal or a common enemy. That’s when Mae (Annette Badland) slams down a flyer for the pub quiz she’s hosting, and suddenly they have their solution. A little trivia, a little competition, and maybe these women can finally learn how to work together.
Beard is especially excited because he’s a pub quiz whiz, a trivia genius with a photographic memory. He can’t wait to kick those girls’ butts, even as Ted tries to remind him that this is about squashing the clique beef, not becoming the champion of Mae’s pub. Beard isn’t listening. He’s already dreaming of that sweet, sweet victory.
While Beard is hyped for the upcoming “bloodbath,” Roy is greeting his first of ten dates at a restaurant and bar. It’s less dating and more speed-running the process, with Roy booking three women back-to-back. He barely spends any quality time with them, and even the bartender notices.
Cut to the next day, where Keeley and Rebecca have a falling out when Keeley excitedly announces that she’s booked that meeting with Zelda. Unfortunately, Rebecca doesn’t share her instant love of the ex-punk rocker. The woman’s history of arrests and bad behavior makes her a poor choice for a business partner in Rebecca’s eyes. Keeley reminds Rebecca that there are plenty of things in both of their pasts that look bad without context, but she’s willing to give Zelda a chance. Rebecca isn’t. She fires back that they can’t naively get into business with everyone just because they have money. Keeley takes that personally. Throughout the season, Rebecca has downplayed Keeley’s business prowess, and this is just another example. First, she hid Higgins’ report about the viability of owning the team. Now she’s calling Keeley naive for setting up meetings with potential financial backers. Keeley doesn’t take the dig well and lets Rebecca know it when she quietly packs her things and leaves Rebecca reeling.
Fun Time Is Over!
Back in the offices, Ted and Beard shoot trash-can hoops while listening to the women brawl behind the locker room door. They can’t go inside, and nobody knows where Alice is. When they hear what sounds like a loud crash followed by a whole lot of fighting, Ted puts a trash can on his head, Beard covers his glasses with Post-it notes, and the two rush into the locker room to make sure everyone is okay. Once the women confirm they’re dressed, Lizzie (Faye Marsay) explains what all the ruckus was about. It’s petty fights over lucky jersey numbers and sweaty socks– nothing of substance, but just enough to have everyone screaming and Ted’s head spinning.
Finally, the even-tempered coach snaps: “FUN TIME IS OVER!” he announces, and “”practice is canceled!” Instead, the entire team is taking a mandatory trip to Mae’s pub for trivia night. It’s time for the women to work together and have a little fun off the pitch.
Later, at the pub, Ted carefully assigns the teams, hoping to force the women to work together, while Beard remains suspiciously distracted by a mysterious poster he spotted in the urinal. Nobody loves trivia like Beard, who is certain he’s about to dominate the game with his genius mind. It’s too bad he can’t seem to focus on anything but that poster. What has him so spooked?
Quiz night starts awkwardly, with the cliques still treating their own teammates like the enemy. Then they meet the real enemy: men and their unsolicited opinions. A group of men at the pub makes it their mission to defeat the women, name calling and all. Suddenly, the women find some common ground. It’s a classic “nobody talks smack about the team except the players” situation, and they finally put their issues aside to work together.
While Ted and the team are at Mae’s, we catch up with Roy, who is still at the bar racking up dates and small talk. The sarcastic bartender catches his attention again when she calls him out for how he’s treated these women, especially after two of his dates run into each other and give him nothing but middle fingers. Things between Roy and the salty bartender escalate quickly, ending with the two making out before Roy promptly destroys his knee. The bartender leaves him screaming on the floor for his sister (Sofia Barclay), the doctor. Her reaction when she wheels her brother into her doctor colleague, Erin Beaumont’s (Laura Haddock) office is the same one we’re all having: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
Together They Can Build a Dream
After their falling out earlier, Keeley knocks on Rebecca’s office door and asks if they can talk. “Always” is the response, because the love and friendship these two share goes deeper than a few misunderstandings. Then Keeley asks Rebecca to join her in the stadium stands, where the boss lady is greeted by pink candlelight and thermoses of wine. Rebecca is moved by this “friend date” and takes a seat beside Keeley so they can settle their differences and move on. It’s all love for these two as Keeley admits she may have gone overboard with her spending requests. She explains that’s because she’s so excited to build something this important with her best friend. It means everything to her, and she’s okay with Rebecca telling her no. Rebecca agrees she hates telling her no, but Keeley appreciates it because it forces her to find a new way of getting things done. In the end, those nos produce better outcomes. If they keep supporting each other like this, they won’t be celebrating alone in the stands. They’ll be doing it with a winning team at Nelson Road. Their love fest gets a surprising boom when a pink smoke bomb goes off, and Keeley tells Rebecca they should do the same thing when the women come out of the tunnel for their next game. Rebecca is all for it.
Back at the pub, the quiz comes down to sudden death, with the final category being children’s books. Lizzie steps up with a little help from Gemma (Abbie Hern), but victory quickly turns ugly when the men accuse Gemma of cheating and dump beer on her. Boots (Jude Mack) responds by clocking one of them over the head with a bottle, and suddenly the entire women’s team is throwing hands. Naturally, everyone gets arrested,including Ted.
Cue the Ferris Bueller’s Day Off music.
While the women sit in the holding cell looking oddly pleased with themselves, Beard finally snaps out of his trance and shows Ted the poster that had him so distracted: Whatever Happened to the Baby, Jane? The image triggers memories of his wife, explaining exactly where his head has been all night. We still don’t know what happened to Jane or why Beard is so triggered, but just the thought of her is enough to break his brain.
When Keeley and Rebecca get the alert that the team and Ted have been arrested, they cut their little pink-and-fluffy friend date short. The two rush to the police station but when they finally arrive, they’re shocked to discover the team is already walking free. It’s all thanks to Zelda, who swooped in to bail everyone out.
The police station is suddenly buzzing with ideas. After Keeley snaps a team photo at the jail, Zelda immediately sees the PR potential. “That’s a photo that can make some waves,” she says. Rebecca watches as Keeley absolutely vibes with Zelda, and it’s becoming increasingly clear that this relationship could be about more than just one potential investment. The two operate on a similar wave-length and whether or not that is good for the team, we will have to wait and see.
Just when things seem to be settling down, Higgins arrives at the station in his pajamas with some very important news: Richmond has been picked to play Chelsea at home. Chelsea is the best team in the country, and the women are immediately fired up. Keeley, meanwhile, thinks that jail photo might be exactly what they need to sell out Nelson Road. But there’s no rest for the wicked. The newly bailed-out team still has to run back to Mae’s to clean up their mess. Coach’s orders.
Finally, over at the podcast studio, Trent and Sharon get word that Ted and the entire team have been arrested, because nothing says unity quite like a night in the slammer. The two leave to grab a drink together, discussing Ted’s tactics and Trent’s book, which Sharon finally admits she didn’t read, she listened to it.