By: Kelly Kearney
AFC Richmond’s new women’s team are put through its first real test as they scramble to fill two missing striker spots, welcome a player with serious history with Alice Chilton, and survive a last-minute kit disaster before their first friendly. Meanwhile, Henry settles into London life with a little help from fashionista Phoebe, while Keeley discovers that building a football team comes with more financial headaches than she bargained for. By Episode 3, Ted Lasso is finally finding its rhythm again, bringing us back to the sport, the players, and the feel-good coaching magic that made Richmond impossible not to root for.
Short on Players, Big on Ideas
We jump right into the action with player P.J. (Annie McGrath) screaming, “F*********ck!” Apparently, getting pregnant at the start of football season isn’t exactly ideal for one of the Lady Greyhounds’ starting players. The coaching staff is, of course, thrilled for her, but once we cut to the office, we quickly learn the problem: P.J. was the only striker left on the team after last week’s ACL injury. With their first match only days away, Ted (Jason Sudeikis) turns to Alice (Tanya Reynolds) to see if she knows anyone who could fill the spot.
Alice does know someone: Gemma (Abbie Hern), a former player who quit football to study law. Ted sends Alice to talk to her, though Alice warns him not to get his hopes up. She’d have better luck finding a player off the street than convincing Gemma to come back, which is probably because Alice very clearly has a grudge against her. Still, the idea of open tryouts immediately grabs Ted and Coach Beard’s (Brendan Hunt) attention. Alice may have been joking, but the coaches are thinking fresh meat and new talent might be exactly what the Lady Greyhounds need.
Ted heads off to pitch Rebecca (Hannah Waddingham) on the idea, only to find her office door locked. Strange. The door was always open for Ted before. When Rebecca finally answers, her clothes are askew and Matthijs (Matteo van der Grijn) is in the background fastening his pants. Afternoon office sex and they are a bit braggy about it, not that Ted seems to mind. He seems happy that Rebecca is happy.
After filling the boss lady in, Rebecca initially agrees with Alice that open tryouts for a professional football team are a little ridiculous. Once she learns the idea came from Alice, the tables turn. If Alice has a grudge against Gemma, Rebecca has an even bigger one against the assistant coach who once questioned her feminism. Unable to agree with the woman who annoyed her at the start of the season, Rebecca flips the script and approves the open tryouts.
As she pushes Ted out of her office, Keeley(Juno Temple) walks in looking for £4,000 for rally towels for Saturday’s match. She got the idea in Kansas City, and anything that gets the crowd excited, especially if it means selling merch, is something Keeley can get behind. Rebecca, however, immediately says no. She’s the money behind this operation, and there are already signs the Lady Greyhounds won’t just lose money; they could end up taking money from the men’s team, too–Not that Keeley knows that. She is blissfully in the dark about the downsides of owning this women’s football team, and that’s because her best friend is keeping it all from her. As she said at the start of the season when Higgins expressed his financial concerns, she hates to squash Keeley’s enthusiasm. Luckily for Rebecca’s wallet, Keeley has already bought the rally towels with her own money. That news gets temporarily sidelined when Higgins walks in to discuss the shareholders meeting. The meeting takes priority but so does her relationship, so Rebecca clears everyone out of her office and literally throws Ted out after he whispers about her new man, “ground control to major hunk.”
Keeley Learns the Truth
Next, we’re at the shareholders meeting, where Higgins (Jeremy Swift) introduces Roy (Brett Goldstein) to discuss the men’s team. Roy is a man of few words, and most of those words are offensive enough that they can’t even make it onto television. So, standing in front of the shareholders, he offers a brutally concise update:” two wins, one loss, played like sh*t. We will see what f*cking happens.” Then he walks offstage. On that delightfully succinct note, Higgins opens the floor for questions. One brave man asks what Roy plans to do when his contract expires at the end of the season. Roy, who isn’t exactly a big sharer, tells him it’s none of his business, effectively killing any chance of further questions.
Higgins then segues into Richmond’s women’s team, just as most of the audience groans and starts getting up to leave. That’s when Rebecca’s booming voice orders everyone to sit down and listen to Keeley, the team’s chief marketing officer. Keeley introduces herself and explains that the women’s team has been three years in the making and will kick things off with a friendly against Hayes & Yeading. Someone in the audience shouts, “Who f*cking cares?” and everyone laughs, but Keeley doesn’t flinch. She cares, and Mae (Annette Badland) down at the pub cares too. She acts like the Lady Greyhounds are the greatest thing to happen to London in her lifetime, and Keeley believes other people feel that way, too. She goes on to explain that Pinter & Sons, one of the men’s team sponsors, will also be sponsoring the women’s team this year. But before she can finish, someone interrupts with mention of a report circulating online, allegedly written by Higgins, claiming the women’s team won’t last longer than a year.
Keeley is suddenly in the line of fire as comments fly around the room about whether the women’s team is responsible for Jamie Tartt leaving the men’s squad and whether the Lady Greyhounds will siphon resources away from the men. The locals are angry, and Keeley is blindsided, as she seems to be the only one who hasn’t read the report. Trying to hold her head high, she looks over at Rebecca, who clearly never shared that report with her and can hardly look her bestie in the eyes. By protecting Keeley, she’s embarrassed her in front of the shareholders and put a dent in the trust the two share. Keeley does well holding her head high but the audience devolves into a women Vs. men verbal throwdown.
After the stress of the shareholder’s meeting, Rebecca rushes home to meet with Matthijs. She takes a second to text Keeley an apology about the report, and signs off with an “I love you.” The only response she gets back is a thumbs up which is never a good sign. Rebecca knows it but she is juggling a lot now that her boyfriend is in town. She was used to their long distance relationship and now she’s struggling to find time to squeeze him into her busy life. The stress has the boss lady tired, and after lying her head down to rest, Rebecca falls asleep and completely misses her dinner date with her beau. He winds up waking her up, and she is frazzled and apologetic. They agree on a redo, and then fall into bed together..
Bedazzling Idea
Next, we head to Ted’s flat, where he helps Henry (Grant Feely) get ready for school. It’s a classic dad moment as Ted helps him tie his tie and makes sure the uniform fits perfectly for his first day. Henry isn’t used to wearing a uniform, but Ted explains that sometimes they can make you feel like you’re part of a community, “something bigger than yourself.” This is a whole new adventure for Henry, but aside from the usual first-day jitters, the kid seems ready to tackle the new school experience, even if the uniform is doing its best to stifle his creativity and individuality.
Speaking of creativity, Roy is walking his niece Phoebe (Elodie Blomfield) to her first day when he spots her bedazzled tie and immediately questions whether her principal is Elton John. The girl is fully committed to the sparkly, bejeweled look, but Roy commenting on fashion? Please. His minimalist wardrobe hasn’t changed in decades. When Phoebe points out that Roy is still limping, and his sister reminds him that she has a colleague, a doctor, who could help, he blows them both off and quickly changes the subject back to Phoebe’s “pizzazz.” That’s when she hands her uncle a pair of bedazzled socks she made for good luck on his first match of the season. She and her friends have even made sparkly T-shirts for the Richmond game, and they are all very excited.
That excitement leads to a very serious debate over whether they should call them the Richmond team or the Richmond women’s team. Roy is definitely Team Keeley and her success, but he is still the men’s coach and hasn’t fully embraced sharing yet–no matter how many times Brett Goldstein pops up on Sesame Street. When they reach the school gates, they run into Ted and Henry, and Phoebe and Henry head into school together. If Henry feels like his creativity was stifled, Phoebe is the perfect bedazzling friend for him.
While the men’s and women’s team coaches are busy getting their kids off to school, Alice Chilton is hunting down Gemma (Abbie Hern), eventually finding her wrapping up an amateur game on the pitch. Gemma spots Chilton, and when the game is over, she grabs her bag and walks right past her without saying a word. There is definitely some bad blood between these two, so even if Alice can convince Gemma to join the Lady Greyhounds, how helpful is she going to be if she can’t get along with Ted’s assistant coach?
Elsewhere, Rebecca gets some more bad news when Pinter & Sons pulls its sponsorship, but only from the women’s team. Not long after, Keeley arrives at her office, where Rebecca gives her a gift, some sort of pricey fashion item, as an apology for not sharing the report Higgins wrote about the viability of their team. She then breaks the news about Pinter & Sons pulling out of their sponsorship.
Keeley thanks her for the gift but admits she’s going to be smart about her money and return it so she can reinvest the cash she lost on the rally towels. Meanwhile, Rebecca calls Elaine Pinter, the CEO, who has requested that they meet in person. Unfortunately, that meeting happens to be all the way across town. So, Rebecca grabs her bag and takes off, but judging by her goodbye, there’s definitely no love lost between the CEO of Pinter & Sons and Rebecca Welton.
Down on the pitch, tryouts for the women’s team kick off with three new faces: Shannon (Shannon Hayes), Maria Rojas (Paloma Cinco), who happens to be Dani Rojas’ “Football is Life” sister, and Lizzie (Faye Marsay), who has brought her pint-sized son along because she couldn’t find a sitter for this impromptu tryout.
Beard sees Maria’s name on the list and immediately writes “striker” next to it. He and Ted are very excited about the possibility of recreating the winning streak Dani helped the men’s team achieve. Because if there’s one thing Ted Lasso loves, it’s a familiar face, a hopeful underdog, and the possibility of another football miracle.
“Life is so Much More Than Football”
Upstairs in the offices, Roy stops by to see Keeley and tries to lighten the mood ahead of the shareholders’ meeting with a joke. It’s awkward, but at least he gets a smile out of her. These two are doing their best to remain friends while also ignoring that little spark that ignites in both of their eyes every time they’re in the same room. Good luck with that, guys.
Back on the pitch, the coaches’ high hopes for Maria quickly go up in flames when they watch her make numerous attempts to kick the ball and miss it every single time. It turns out Maria does not have quite the football skills of her brother Dani. When the coaches ask her if her brother taught her his “football is life” motto when he taught her to play, they find out he never did teach her and, “life is so much more than football.”
Lizzie, however, immediately grabs the coaches’ attention. Not only can she play, but she also puts her mothering skills to work on the field, guiding the other players and breaking up a fight between sisters Niamh (Aisling Sharkey) and Siobhan (Rex Hayes). That alone is a skill the coaches could use, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that she can play like a pro.
In her office, Keely gets some bad news from her player June and personal shadow to all things Keeley, (Remi Shorunke-Samuel): the kits for their upcoming match still haven’t arrived. You can’t have a football game without uniforms, and apparently, Keely can’t have one without at least three logistical crises first.
Across London, Rebecca walks into Elaine Pinter’s (Helen Schlesinger) office, where the Pinter & Sons CEO brings up Higgins’ report declaring the women’s team unprofitable. Rebecca, however, is feeling pretty passionate about this new team and what it means for women and fans across the league. She stands her ground and lays out every reason the Lady Greyhounds deserve a chance. Eventually, Elaine agrees, and makes the call to reinstate the funding for the women’s team.
Rebecca secured the bag, but what she lost in the process was yet another date with Matthijs, who at this point should probably just start dating Peter (Ed MacArthur) the waiter at that restaurant. The man certainly has enough free time, and Peter has plenty of sympathy for someone who is either constantly getting stood up or has created an entire girlfriend in his head who apparently doesn’t exist.
With tryouts over, the coaches gather to decide who made the cut. Lizzie gets the good news that she’s made the team, and her son is absolutely thrilled for her. Where the coaches can’t agree is Shannon, who has all the heart but maybe not quite all the skill. Beard and Chilton think Ted should cut her, and Ted agrees. Then he walks straight over and welcomes her to the team. When it comes to Ted, heart matters, maybe even more than kicking goals. Shannon hugs him and promises the other two coaches she’ll do her best, but that still leaves them with one very big problem: they need a striker. Maria doesn’t have her brother’s skills, and while Lizzie is a fantastic player, she isn’t a striker. Ted tells Chilton they need to try again to get Gemma on the team, and this time, he’s going with her.
Later that night, Ted and Henry are having dinner at Mae’s when the pub owner tells the coach how excited she is about the new women’s team and their first game. She’s waited her whole life for this and has no intention of missing it. And honestly, Mae might be the biggest Lady Greyhounds fan in London-the woman is psyched!
Back at home, after her meeting with Pinter & Sons, Rebecca once again apologizes to Matthijs for all the missed dates. He teases her about his new friend, Peter, and the two agree to turn their dinner dates into lunch the following day. Matthijs is determined to prove to Peter that his girlfriend is not only real, but definitely worthy of a second, third, or even a fourth chance.
Meanwhile, Chilton and Ted are on a mission to find themselves a striker. They track Gemma down at the library, where she’s studying to become a lawyer. Their impromptu visit immediately highlights the tension between Chilton and Gemma, who accuses the assistant coach of being too hard on her in the past, even calling her a “lazy cow.” According to Gemma, that treatment eventually pushed her out of football altogether. Chilton argues back that she was hard on everyone. Gemma was simply the one who left and never came back. Alice storms off, leaving Ted to pick up the pieces, and, as usual, he does it rather nicely. Ted tells Gemma that when they decided they needed a new striker, she was Chilton’s first choice. That seems to take some of the heat out of the fiery anger Gemma has been carrying toward the woman she blames for pushing her away from football.
After finding out the kits still haven’t arrived, Keeley heads to the shipping store to find out what happened. If she has to pick them up herself, she will. Unfortunately, the boxes are already out for delivery. She called earlier that morning and specifically told them to hold the kits because she was coming to get them, so naturally, whoever took that message completely failed to do their job. Now the uniforms are somewhere out there traveling around London and it is doubtful they will make it to the stadium in time.
When Keeley returns, angry and exasperated by the endless roadblocks standing between her and the team’s first match, she runs straight into Roy. He can immediately tell she’s upset and does his best to put a smile on her face. He succeeds, but it’s less the smile of a woman who feels better and more the smile of a woman who is about five seconds away from complete breakdown.
After setting an alarm to make absolutely sure she doesn’t miss another date with her boyfriend, Rebecca is getting ready for lunch when she’s interrupted by a crying Keeley, who immediately falls into her arms. Keeley needs her, so Rebecca texts Matthijs and cancels her date again, leaving her increasingly patient boyfriend with quite possibly his only true love: the waiter, who at least offers him a hug.
A Winning Start
Back at the library, whatever Ted said about Alice recommending Gemma seems to have stuck. Instead of studying law, Gemma is watching football videos, and they appear to be inspiring her. She packs up her things and abruptly gets up in the middle of the study group. When everyone asks where she’s going, she doesn’t bother answering, but we know exactly where she’s headed.
It’s match day, and the delivery truck finally arrives. Keeley is waiting with a smile on her face, ready to save the day. That smile quickly disappears when she’s handed a tiny package instead of the truckload of kits she was expecting. There has been a mistake: there is exactly one kit on the truck, leaving the entire team without uniforms.
At this point, Keeley can only laugh. She descends into hysterics as she tells Roy the team is going to have to take the pitch without their kits. It might only be a friendly, but these women are fighting an uphill battle for legitimacy and without those kits, they look like amateurs. We can practically see Roy’s mind spinning as he starts brainstorming ways to fix the problem and, more importantly, puts that smile back on Keeley’s face.
Meanwhile, Gemma arrives at Richmond and tells the coaches she wants to join the team. She’s not giving up on law, but she’s also not giving up the opportunity to do what she loves with a team that clearly needs her. Of course, the fact that she isn’t fully dedicating her life to football immediately irks Chilton, who makes a comment about Gemma having “one foot in and one foot out.” She just can’t help herself. Chilton rides Gemma hard, once again reminding her exactly why she walked away from the sport in the first place.
Without kits, and with a women’s team desperate for the public to see them as a legitimate club, Keeley starts to worry. The stands aren’t exactly packed, and she’s beginning to wonder if maybe Higgins’ report was right and this whole thing isn’t going to work.
That’s when Phoebe swoops in to save the day. She and her friends were sent there by Roy, and they arrived carrying enough bedazzled T-shirts to outfit the entire team. Crisis averted, thanks to a group of sparkly preteens.
When the game kicks off, the Richmond Ladies emerge from the locker room in their jeweled shirts, proudly representing a new team and the local girls who are already cheering them on. Unfortunately, all those sequins don’t magically make them better at football. Seventy-five minutes go by without a single goal, and the crowd is getting restless. People are bored and starting to wonder if this team is worth watching beyond this friendly. With only a few minutes left, Chilton looks over at Gemma and tells Coach Lasso to put her in. It turns out to be exactly the right call. Almost immediately, Gemma scores, giving Richmond the win by a single goal and sending the team and the crowd into celebration. Suddenly, all those bedazzled shirts don’t seem quite so ridiculous.
After one very chaotic friendly, Keeley is feeling a little more positive about the team’s future. It took a small army, a delivery disaster, some questionable logistics, and a bunch of glitter to get them here, but they pulled it off. Then, Roy hands Keeley his own report he wrote on the sustainability of women’s football. The first and only page contains just two words: “F*ck them.” And for the first time all episode, Keeley gives him a genuine smile.
Meanwhile, her best friend Rebecca and her long-suffering, frequently stood-up boyfriend Matthijs finally make it to their dinner reservation. As the two lean across the table for a kiss, the waiter watches from the bar, feeling sorry for the poor man he assumes hired a prostitute just to save face. Honestly, at this point, Matthijs and Peter are my new favorite couple.