What We Do in the Shadows – Exit Interview

By: Gladys Luna

Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) is still running away from Nandor (Kayvan Novak) and his imminent promise to kill him after he found out what his familiar did. As we know, Guillermo had been waiting for years to be turned into a vampire by his master Nandor. However, after more than a decade of waiting on empty promises, he decided to take this matter in his own hands and asked his friend Derek (Chris Sandiford) to turn him which now has led him into a bigger conflict to face. This is why he has ended up hiding in a shady motel and hoping for the best. As everyone he knows is somehow connected to Nandor, he seeks out the one person that under the radar and that individual is Derek. Although Guillermo begged him not to tell anyone about his whereabouts, the other vampire was not able to keep the secret and now everyone from the vampire residence, except for Nandor, knows about it.

Meanwhile, Nandor is still very angry at his familiar for having betrayed him, so he is desperately looking for him by roaming the streets of Staten Island. He decides to start a stakeout outside of a Panera Bread hoping that Guillermo will show up and he will finally end him. After a few minutes of waiting he sees someone that looks a lot like his familiar enter the restaurant, so he goes after him and nearly kills him. However, he realizes that the man he has captured is actually Patton Oswalt (Himself). The vampire apologizes to him and in an attempt to explain why he almost got him killed he ends up sitting with the man at the restaurant and telling him everything that happened with Guillermo.

Back to Guillermo, as everyone knows where he is now, one by one the vampires start to show up at his motel room doorstep to say goodbye to him. Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), for example, shows up dressed like a gumshoe just to remind him about how angry Nandor must be walking around eagerly hoping to accomplish his goal. Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) pays him a visit with only the intention of doing his exit interview that unfortunately ends sooner than it was supposed to. Laszlo (Matt Berry) presents himself at his door saying that he has some important news to tell him but before he does he gets distracted watching an adult film on the TV making him to completely forget about the reason why he was there in the first place. Guillermo feels defeated and lonelier than ever. He takes this opportunity to go hide in the bathroom trying to process everything that has happened and blaming himself for having rushed the process of becoming a vampire that now has him on the verge of losing his friends.

Nandor and Patton are now sitting at a rooftop of a building still discussing about the current situation between the vampire and his familiar. Patton soon realizes how important Nandor and Guillermo’s bond is and how much he cares for his friend. Therefore, he suggests that maybe the best choice is not to kill him if he truly cares about him so much. Still blinded by the pain that came with his friend’s betrayal, Nandor takes Patton’s words in the wrong way making him to throw him off of the building; however, he soon realizes that the man was actually right. The Guide (Kristen Schaal) has decided to show up at the motel bringing along with her all of the abominations that Laszlo created while experimenting with Guillermo’s blood and as he is saying his goodbye to them he gets a call from his mother (Myrna Cabello). When he answers he is surprised to hear Nandor’s voice instead asking him to meet him at her apartment to discuss things. Guillermo wastes no time and leaves the place to go and make sure that his family is safe. Once he is there he sees his mother showing pictures of him to Nandor and as soon as she notices he is there she leaves them alone so they can talk. Nandor explains that he has made his mind about killing him thanks to the recent passing of his friend Patton Oswalt. Although Guillermo does not believe him at first, Nandor gives him his warrior word that he will bring him home with him completely safe and Guillermo agrees. When they arrive to the residence, Nandor informs the rest of the gang that Guillermo will be from now on the fifth vampire of their group and he should be treated as an equal. Before this revelation The Guide tries to make herself heard saying that she was there before him which makes her the fifth vampire but, as usual, nobody seems to pay any attention to her. Nadja and Colin Robinson do not take these news so well and start to complain about it while Laszlo explains that Guillermo’s Van Helsing blood would never allow him to become a full vampire. Therefore, Nandor comes up with a solution for this which is to make him drink actual human blood to help speed the process. After Guillermo does it, he is finally able to complete his full transformation. Filled with eager and enthusiasm for his new state, the newly turned vampire wants to go out and do something so the gang decide to take him on his first hunt. They end up at a restaurant draining people left and right. The more Guillermo drinks, the more conscious he becomes of what he is doing and will have to do so in order to keep himself existing. He begins to panic which only gets worse when Nandor gets a victim for him and he is just not able to bite him since he still can smell his shampoo scent. Guillermo bolts followed by Nandor who tries to help him but who also realizes that Guillermo is not ready to become a vampire yet.

As a part of becoming a vampire, a Ceremony of Vampiric Transmogrification must be carried out so Nandor helps Guillermo prepare for it. He knows everyone will be there, including Derek, so eventhough he is not so certain that this is what he truly wants he plays along with it. Nandor takes Guillermo to the foyer where the ceremony is performed. Once there, he needs to make a choice: does he desire to remain as a vampire or want to be human again? After a few moments of hesitation Guillermo chooses what Nandor expected him to do which is to be human again except that in order to make this happen Derek must be sacrificed by Guillermo himself. Obviously, he is not able to kill his friend so Nandor does it for him and then the former familiar passes out. When he is brought back to conscious again he appears to be a little different and he is able to spend some time alone with Derek’s body lying there next to him. Later on, it is revealed that the entire ceremony was fake and that Nandor used it as a resource to make his friend realize what he really wanted, but unfortunately Derek’s passing was not a joke. Nandor asks his familiar to get rid of the vampire’s body so he and Laszlo take him to the necromancer Wallace (Benedict Wong) who is able to bring him back to life as a zombie giving him the opportunity to join to a new family.