Will & Grace – The Scales of Justice

By: Kelly Kearney

On this week’s Will & Grace we see Jack and Grace go to the extreme to shed some weight, turning their friendship into a Hunger Games battle of the carbs. Meanwhile, Will’s having issues relating to his students and comes up with a Judge Judy style mock trial to keep the millennials’ attention. His first case? Karen Walker vs. her step-daughter Olivia in the case of the stolen family heirloom.

A Pants Splitting Good Time

It’s not often we get scenes with Jack (Sean Hayes) and Grace (Debra Messing) but in “The Scales Of Justice” the two friends elevate each other’s crazy in a hilarious way that begs the question, can we get more scenes with these two, please? They play so well off each other and their combined physical comedy is perfection!

After a heavy meal the two friends head back to the apartment where they both split the seams on their pants and start to realize it is time to go on a diet. Losing weight works better if you have a buddy doing it with you so Jack and Grace agree to be each other’s dieting partner. After all, Jack’s wedding is coming up where all is nearest and dearest will be celebrating his love and judging his tummy rolls, like all good gay friends do. Grace, on the other hand, feels the need to slim down “because I’m a woman that is alive.” It’s hard out there for a woman and a gay man with normal bodies and an average BMI. Society never passes up a chance to make us question our own image in the mirror and Grace and Jack are no different. The friends decide to go all in on this diet and even if they have to inhale molecular fast food air to stick to their guns, these two are in it to win it! The only problem is dieting is hard when there is delicious food everywhere you look and Grace and Jack are not just hungry, they’re HANGRY! They are so irritated by this starvation diet that the two even verbally assault a couple of young girls selling candy for their school. The struggle is real and these two are hanging on by a string, one that is probably made of dreamy stringed cheese. Like most people trying to lose weight, Jack and Grace head to the dreaded scale and come up with some creative ways of tricking the evil shade machine into giving them the reading they want. A few extra trips to the bathroom should do it. Maybe subtracting 7lbs for their clothes will help?  How much do feelings weigh and can you subtract the weight that exists inside your bra? All good ideas, but scale is a harsh mistress and no amount of tricks will give them the reading they desire.

Things with the diet take a turn for the worse when Grace decides to make a salad topped with some restricted cheesy croutons. Jack calls her out on the crunchy delights and the two decide the only way to curb their hunger is to lick a single crouton, getting all of the flavor but none of carbs and calories. One crouton lick turns into two and three until Grace slips a whole bread cube into her mouth and will not spit it out! Jack, being the good diet buddy he is, demands she spit it out and even tries to pry her mouth open like a dog that ate your dinner. In the struggle to release the fat laden morsel from the cheater’s mouth the entire carton of croutons lands on the floor and Jack dives in to pick them up…with his mouth. One by one Jack sucks down the croutons until Grace jumps on his back trying to stop her friend from wrecking his diet. It’s an epic wrestling match with the only winner being he croutons and the understanding that they have lost their minds on this diet. Both Grace and Jack come to terms with the fact that they’re healthy, attractive people and there is no reason to push themselves to the edge of insanity to reach some unattainable weight just to satisfy the masses noting, “We’re not Fashion Week skinny, but we’re definitely Disneyland skinny!” They both agree that as long as they’re healthy and somewhat happy, who cares what they eat? Let people judge their muffin tops, but more importantly LET THEM EAT CROUTONS!

Don’t Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It’s Raining Family Heirlooms

While Jack and Grace are coming to terms with their imperfections, Will (Eric McCormack) seems to be struggling with his. After reading some student reviews that made him sound like the world’s most boring law professor, Will’s trying everything he can to be the cool man on campus. Of course, nothing sucks the cool out of the room like your law professor serenading you with the ukulele. The kids are not impressed so Will takes a page put of pop culture’s book and decides to have a classroom mock trial, Judge Judy style, lace collared robe and all.

Will’s not the only one struggling to fit in with his new life. Karen (Megan Mullally) has been battling her own divorce demons by pouring all her love and gin gimlets in her new doggie daughter, Shu Shu. Now that her beloved maid is dead and Stan took his bank account and their step-kids with him in the divorce, Karen has nothing left of her old life, not even the necklace that has been in her family for decades. The last she saw of the necklace Olivia (Aya Cash), her step-daughter, had it. Lucky for Karen it seems Olivia is easy to find as she’s sitting in the front row of Will’s class! Of course, this means Karen pops in on Will’s mock trial to turn the Judge Judy hour into a mockery all its own. It’s a classic courtroom drama with a stolen family heirloom and Will, decked out in lace and sporting his worst Judge Judy accent, presiding over the case.

As the case begins Karen comes off as heartless and demands Olivia hand over the necklace her mother gave her. The problem is, no matter how hard Karen tries to act unfeeling and selfish, underneath her harsh and drunken exterior is a human with strong feelings that run deep. The same goes for Olivia, who acts like her step-mother is a step-monster and refuses to give back the necklace that she claims she can’t find. Of course, this has very little to do with the necklace and more to do with the break up of a family that neither Karen or Olivia are handling very well. Judge Judy chimes in that the necklace is a family heirloom, given to Karen by her mother and, thus, Olivia has to give it back. Olivia pulls the necklace out from under her shirt and hands it to Karen saying, “And I thought it was a gift from my mother!” Admitting that she sees Karen as a mother stops the woman in her tracks and she asks Olivia if she really thinks of her that way. Olivia was young when Karen married Stan and she barely remembers her biological mom so Karen is the only mother she knows. She reminds her how she always wanted to be with Karen growing up and now that she’s divorced her father she feels forgotten, like their relationship never mattered to her. The necklace was the one thing she had of the life that her parents threw away. Karen is obviously touched by Olivia’s words and she starts realizing that, while her life has changed from the divorce, she hasn’t lost everything. In fact, she might have gained more family than she knew she had. Will’s class watches with vested interested as Karen hands Olivia her mother’s necklace proving once again that Karen Walker has feelings and they’re not always drug induced. The two make peace and bond the only way a mother and daughter can, by skipping class to have cocktails with Karen’s Yorkie.

In the end Will, Karen, Jack and Grace learned valuable lessons. Life has its ups and downs and can sometimes kick you to the curb, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hold on to the parts of it you love. Whether it’s divorces, career changes or diets, eat the croutons and share what’s left of your life with the one’s you love. Even if that means cocktails with your dog and heading to the alter a few extra pounds heavier, life is too short to worry about things you can not change so enjoy it now because tomorrow is not guaranteed.