American Horror Story – The Morning After

By: Kelly Kearney

After last week’s apocalyptic human stew this week’s episode introduces a new ingredient to this ever-evolving mystery in the form of the Antichrist and his search for the ultimate survivor. Outpost Three isn’t the only underground bunker and The Cooperative wants to know which of the survivors are worthy enough to repopulate and rebuild the new world. Welcome to The Hunger Games, end times version, where nobody volunteers and nobody gets out alive.

Sanctuary

Ever since Michael Langdon (Cody Fern) a/k/a Antichrist arrived, nothing is as it seems. Emily (Ash Santos) learns this first hand when she’s attacked in her bedroom by snakes! Snakes survived the radiation that killed off earth’s population and sent our survivors underground? It seems unlikely, but when Miriam Mead (Kathy Bates) hears Emily’s scream she cuts the head off of the slithering beast and says its meat would make a good meal. The Outpost’s warden doesn’t appear to be concerned in the slightest that this snake breached their walls and even handles the beheaded reptile with her bare hands. Later, at dinner, Venable (Sarah Paulson) deflects the groups complaints regarding their daily meal (people seem to have lost their appetites after the Stu Stew) by reminding them that nobody is forcing them to eat what’s being served. Of course, that would all be great if the soup being served wasn’t live snake! Yup, the snake in Emily’s room that Mead beheaded some how came back to life, even after having been cooked! Since Emily and Tim (Kyle Allen), know that the snake was most definitely dead, how exactly did it reanimate and get into their soup? Emily has questions and teams up with Tim to find the answers, of which she swears mist be lurking in Venable’s office, but more on that later because everyone in the Outpost wants to know who arrived by chariot.

Enter Michael Langdon, a long haired and soft-spoken man who claims to be on a mission from the Cooperative. Langdon is the definition of extra, with his flamboyant mannerisms and his over the top fashion, this Antichrist is not your run of the mill evil. Dressed in something that is only fitting for an Ann Rice vampire, this Lestat wannabe explains that there is a Sanctuary stocked full of supplies that could keep them all alive for decades, no human stew needed. The only problem is that the other Outposts have been overrun and the people inside are dead so now he’s at Outpost Three to test the remaining survivors to see which are capable of continuing the human race. Coco (Leslie Grossman) compares this test to some kind of demented Hunger Games and she is offended that her money didn’t secure her position in the Sanctuary. Apparently, money isn’t what Langdon is looking for and he makes it clear that this Sanctuary can house all of them, or none of them, depending on the outcome of his tests. Since starving in Outpost Three isn’t an option and neither is trying to survive the radiation outside, Gallant (Evan Peters) offers to be tested first and Langdon happily agrees.

The test is more like an oral exam, with Langdon acting more like Dr. Phil than the Antichrist. He wants all the juicy details about Gallant’s life, from his past sexual escapades (Gallant is gay but did sleep with one woman) to what fuels his anger. Nothing in the line of questioning seems to determine whether or not the survivors can create a new human race. In fact, Michael ignores the fact that Gallant can have sex with women if he had to procreate and instead focuses on the man’s anger. It’s almost as if Langdon feeds off of negativity and what was seemingly an innocent if not bizarre interview turns into a rant about Gallant’s Nana, Evie (Joan Collins). Gallant resents his grandmother for wanting him to be “the perfect gay.” She wants him to hang up his leather romper for a white picket fence in the suburbs and that’s not Gallant. She even had dinners for possible male suitors, but when her grandson showed up in a leather gas mask and proceeded to drink soup through the contraption Nana knew there was no changing her only living heir. The animosity between the ageing socialite and her grandson is seething below the surface of Gallant’s story and Langdon is not only eating it up but it’s making him aroused. Gallant notices the flirtatious looks and calls Michael out on it, but the interviewer ignores the question and leaves the room. Later, a man (Riley Schmidt) dressed in head to toe rubber (mask included) knocks on Gallant’s door and assuming this is Michael we see Gallant and the masked man get down to sexy business. From the corridor, Evie watches on as her grandson breaks Venable’s number one rule of no copulation in the Outpost.

Crooked Lies and Crooked Spines…

While Gallant is off power bottoming a masked man, Emily and Tim are so done with Venable’s “no sex” rule. Emily still can’t get over the snake reincarnation and the two young lovers think something is off with the Outpost and Langdon. The answers to their questions must be hidden somewhere so the two sneek into the adjoining room just as Langdon’s sneaking out. They both find a computer on the bed and its open to a report about Venable and how she’s been making up her own rules. They scan through the Cooperative’s notes as the Rubber Man hangs above them from the ceiling and watches their every move.

Elsewhere, Michael enters Venable’s private chamber to let her know he’s aware of her made up rules. Venable, who must be getting tips on men from Valerie Solange’s “SCUM manifesto,” is not impressed with Michael or really men in general. She claims to be following the Cooperative’s orders and is trying to clean up the mess men like Langdon caused. He laughs off her feminist rant and says he wrote the Cooperative’s rules and doesn’t recall any memo about preventing survivors from enjoying sex. The conversation quickly turns to her opinion on which survivors she thinks belong in the Sanctuary. She shoots down most of them as wastes of air, all except Dinah. Mead and the two teens that are currently lurking through Michael’s computer. Cutting her off, Michael gets in Venable’s personal space and orders her to remove her dress because a physical exam is part of his Sanctuary test. Immediately, Venable is uncomfortable, but Michael feeds off her shame, a shame that he knows is directly tied to what is under her clothing. Stunned and seemingly afraid, Michael unzips her dress to reveal the reason Venable uses a cane – she suffers from a severe case of Scoliosis and her shame is a definite turn on for the Antichrist. The two get interrupted by Mead who informs Venable that Evie outed her grandson and Gallant must pay for his sexual infraction. Blood is not always thicker than water and when it comes to Evie she would happily risk her grandson for a spot at the Sanctuary.

In another room, Mead has Gallant chained up and he’s screaming through the list of gay saints “RIP TAYLOR…GREG LOUGANIS,” as Mead’s second in charge whips him. Only Gallant likes a little violence with his sex, so the whips and chains have little effect on him. Mead and Venable leave to cook up a harsher punishment and Michael appears, almost out of nowhere, to free Gallant and tell him his Nana outed his sexcapades. He also makes it clear that he wasn’t the man in the rubber suit because he wouldn’t have sex with Galant if he was the last man on earth, and considering their situation, he basically is. While Galant might be physically appealing, what’s inside is sad and thoroughly unattractive. Now angry about his Nana is trying to steal his chances of making it to The Sanctuary and even more hurt that Langdon just crushed his ego, Gallant heads to the dining room to have it out with Evie. In typical Alexis Carrington style, Evie holds her own with the insults and reminds us all why she is the diva we all love to hate. She dresses her grandson down and calls him an embarrassment and not worthy of the Sanctuary which just fuels Gallant’s hatred for the woman even more. He storms out and heads to the Outpost’s library where Rubber man is waiting for another romp in the upstairs bedroom.

Reality is just an illusion

After finding out the sex rules are a joke, Tim and Emily succumb to their post-apocalyptic love and do the deed. Unbeknownst to them, the Rubber Man watches on from the corner which sparks the question how is this masked man in two places at once? As Tim and Emily consummate their love in front of an audience, Gallant is rolling around on the bed with the same masked man who’s watching the teen lovers. Is Langdon the masked man or is he playing tricks with people’s perceptions? As Stevie Nick’s witchy voice sings “shatter your illusions of love” over the Outpost’s speakers, a frenzy of realizations happens all at once. Tim and Emily are caught in bed by Mead and dragged to the showers to be executed for their crimes. Simultaneously, Gallant grabs a pair of scissors and drives them into the chest of the Rubber Man while they’re making out in a sort of payback killing for leading him on. With his face covered in blood splatter, Gallant notices Michael from the hallway and he is definitely not the bleeding man he just gutted on the bed. Gallant does a double take and what was once the Rubber Man turns into his very dead Nana Evie! Gallant killed his grandmother thinking it was Langdon who tricked, seduced and mocked him!

Down in the execution showers Tim manages to grab a shower head and knock out Mead’s second in command before she can shoot both teens dead. He grabs the gun as it skids across the shower floor and shoots Miriam in the side while saving his love Emily. Miriam staggers out of the showers holding her side and that’s when we get the last clue that nothing is what it seems. When Miriam lifts her shirt to check her gunshot wound, a milky fluid leaks from the hole and inside is some kind of electrical circuit board proving Venable’s warden is not human!

Is Miriam a robot? Who will make it to the Sanctuary? Where are our “Coven” witches? Is Michael setting up the survivors to knock each other off one by one? Will we ever find out what horse eating beast lurks beyond the woods? Find out the answer to these questions and more on the next “American Horror Story: Apocalypse.”